Stockalone Posted June 7, 2010 Share Posted June 7, 2010 (edited) does it make a difference? wether you are in a relationship or not? For me, it seems to make a difference. I never fantasised or dreamed about another woman while I was in a relationship. When I am single, though, I do fantasize and sometimes have dreams. Usually it's recalling memories, but occasionally it's about someone I haven't had sex with. I guess that my mind is looking for an outlet, because I don't have sex when I am single. Edited June 7, 2010 by Stockalone Link to post Share on other sites
Jersey Shortie Posted June 7, 2010 Share Posted June 7, 2010 Yes, we fantasize, and we do it often. It will cover all types of women. No, we'll never feel guilty about it (jersey). It reminds us that we're heterosexual. Hey no proble. That's why I said it dosen't matter much how you treat a man. Give him the world, he sill still want other women. Don't, he will still want other women. The same outcome comes from either actions. Although men clearly benefit from having partners that give them the world, why put in the time and effort to do so if he will behave the same either way? The woman receives no pay-off. No reason to put in more effort then is required because the man doesn't make an effort to make his loyaties any more strong. Lesson? Don't even try. Take a guy for what he is worth and give no more. Solution solved. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mrs.Smith Posted June 7, 2010 Author Share Posted June 7, 2010 It seems like this is pretty common thing whether you are in a relationship or not... And most of you seem to think it's really not a big deal. Now what if your girlfriend/wife was having fantasies about other men? Would you still have the same carefree attitude about it? I know most women who read this are probably hurt and offended because it seems like no matter what, or how attracted you are to your spouse the sexual thoughts about other women don't stop. I would like to think that I am enough to satisfy my husband and even though the neighbor or whoever may be attractive that is where it stops and wouldn't feel the need to fantasize about her. Honestly, I was surprised that out of all the people who read the post or even replied there wasn't even one man that could say no, the only person he thinks about was his wife. I don't know if the whole reason is because I am a woman, or the fact that I'm in a great marriage with a wonderful, attractive man, but I don't ever feel the need to think about anyone else. I don't imagine or wonder about anyone else either, my husband is the only person that can really do it for me. So, I guess I really don't get it. I do appreciate everyone's honesty though. thanks Link to post Share on other sites
Bangle Posted June 7, 2010 Share Posted June 7, 2010 Men are wired differently, fantasies are for me things I wouldn't dream of acting upon, they are just figmentation of my mind. When I am in a relationship my loyalty is to that woman. I will not cheat on her and she will be everything I want both physically and emotionally, so I have no reason to cheat. Fantasising to me is like watching porn it's nice, but it isn't real and only an insecure woman would have a problem with pornography or fantasies. If my girlfriend was to keep me sexually fullfilled to point where I no longer masturbate then she would have to spend all day in bed with me. However this not a possibility, therefore this is where porn and fantasising about other women come into play. It no way reflects negatively on my girlfriend or her ability to satisfy me and if my girlfriend was to fantasise and watch porn it would not bother me, as long as she doesn't committ cheating we are fine. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mrs.Smith Posted June 8, 2010 Author Share Posted June 8, 2010 only an insecure woman would have a problem with pornography or fantasies. It's not about insecurities for all women. Just like there are women that are ok with it, there are women who arent. For some, insecurities may play a big apart in their feelings towards this issue. But you cant say ONLY an insecure woman would would have a problem with this. Link to post Share on other sites
MrNate Posted June 8, 2010 Share Posted June 8, 2010 Hey no proble. That's why I said it dosen't matter much how you treat a man. Give him the world, he sill still want other women. Don't, he will still want other women. The same outcome comes from either actions. Although men clearly benefit from having partners that give them the world, why put in the time and effort to do so if he will behave the same either way? The woman receives no pay-off. No reason to put in more effort then is required because the man doesn't make an effort to make his loyaties any more strong. Lesson? Don't even try. Take a guy for what he is worth and give no more. Solution solved. Replace 'man' with 'woman' in this response, then would it be ok for all this to take place? Link to post Share on other sites
Feelin Frisky Posted June 8, 2010 Share Posted June 8, 2010 I don't know what other guys do but I fantasize (and how). My rule of thumb is a person's mind is their own playground and what goes on in it at any particular minute is theirs to entertain. That means if the woman I'm with thinks about some other dude and that's what it takes to get her off, then it's OK if she goes for it. It's stupid and hurtful however to report fleeting thoughts like that to the actual lover. Noboby needs to hear who their partner is thinking about as long as in reality they are faithful--free is the mind. Link to post Share on other sites
MrNate Posted June 8, 2010 Share Posted June 8, 2010 It seems like this is pretty common thing whether you are in a relationship or not... And most of you seem to think it's really not a big deal. Now what if your girlfriend/wife was having fantasies about other men? Would you still have the same carefree attitude about it? I know most women who read this are probably hurt and offended because it seems like no matter what, or how attracted you are to your spouse the sexual thoughts about other women don't stop. I would like to think that I am enough to satisfy my husband and even though the neighbor or whoever may be attractive that is where it stops and wouldn't feel the need to fantasize about her. Honestly, I was surprised that out of all the people who read the post or even replied there wasn't even one man that could say no, the only person he thinks about was his wife. I don't know if the whole reason is because I am a woman, or the fact that I'm in a great marriage with a wonderful, attractive man, but I don't ever feel the need to think about anyone else. I don't imagine or wonder about anyone else either, my husband is the only person that can really do it for me. So, I guess I really don't get it. I do appreciate everyone's honesty though. thanks Think objectively for a second. Would that level of obsessiveness with a gf/spouse/ what have you be ok? I mean give it some real thought. I just find this being unhealthy after a certain point. Link to post Share on other sites
Jersey Shortie Posted June 8, 2010 Share Posted June 8, 2010 Fantasising to me is like watching porn it's nice, but it isn't real and only an insecure woman would have a problem with pornography or fantasies. If my girlfriend was to keep me sexually fullfilled to point where I no longer masturbate then she would have to spend all day in bed with me. However this not a possibility, therefore this is where porn and fantasising about other women come into play. It no way reflects negatively on my girlfriend or her ability to satisfy me and if my girlfriend was to fantasise and watch porn it would not bother me, as long as she doesn't committ cheating we are fine. Male porn use is very much about male insecurity in itself. That's why in most porn, the man is the one in control and always performs, and the woman always acts like everything he does is gold. It all feeds into male insecurity. So don't try to shame women by trying to use the good old stand by of "they are just insecure!" And you are right, it certainly isn't possible to spend all day in bed. However, It makes no sense as a defense. It's not possible for my man to stasify my everh whim the second I need it either. Do I seek out other men or sit infront of my computer seeking out that fullfillment? No. I use self control. Something men are very much capable of but do not want to practice because it takes a certain amount of integrity and strength that too many men today just don't have. It's easier to justify self fullfilling yourself under illogical rationale as "well if *she* could only stay in be d with me all day I wouldn't have to fantasy". That's BS Dude and you know it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mrs.Smith Posted June 8, 2010 Author Share Posted June 8, 2010 Think objectively for a second. Would that level of obsessiveness with a gf/spouse/ what have you be ok? I mean give it some real thought. I just find this being unhealthy after a certain point. Its unhealthy to think my husband is incredibly sexy and want him and only him? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mrs.Smith Posted June 8, 2010 Author Share Posted June 8, 2010 Male porn use is very much about male insecurity in itself. That's why in most porn, the man is the one in control and always performs, and the woman always acts like everything he does is gold. It all feeds into male insecurity. So don't try to shame women by trying to use the good old stand by of "they are just insecure!" And you are right, it certainly isn't possible to spend all day in bed. However, It makes no sense as a defense. It's not possible for my man to stasify my everh whim the second I need it either. Do I seek out other men or sit infront of my computer seeking out that fullfillment? No. I use self control. Something men are very much capable of but do not want to practice because it takes a certain amount of integrity and strength that too many men today just don't have. It's easier to justify self fullfilling yourself under illogical rationale as "well if *she* could only stay in be d with me all day I wouldn't have to fantasy". That's BS Dude and you know it. I agree 100%!!! I find it hard to believe that if a man is in a committed relationship where he is truly happy and fulfilled why not fight the urge to think about, fantasize about or masturbate to a woman who isn't your spouse?!?! They also justify it by saying its only a thought that they wouldn't act upon it. Well.... I have a question? Let's say, you are in a relationship, you are very happy with your spouse but the neighbors wife is very attractive, you've noticed and you've wondered and one day she comes onto you... what now? how long will it take to turn from fantasy to reality? Link to post Share on other sites
Jersey Shortie Posted June 8, 2010 Share Posted June 8, 2010 I agree 100%!!! I find it hard to believe that if a man is in a committed relationship where he is truly happy and fulfilled why not fight the urge to think about, fantasize about or masturbate to a woman who isn't your spouse?!?! They also justify it by saying its only a thought that they wouldn't act upon it. Well.... I have a question? Let's say, you are in a relationship, you are very happy with your spouse but the neighbors wife is very attractive, you've noticed and you've wondered and one day she comes onto you... what now? how long will it take to turn from fantasy to reality? To me, it would be pretty humilating to be sitting there with the neighbors or my best friend and my man was thinking of boffing them under my nose. I will also add, that I think the reason porn is so successful is because it infact doesn't statisfy at all. That's why men keep turning back to it. And much like the BP oil spill, it's easier to plug up a leak partially at least with a cap (porn), Then practice a real plan on how to feel fullfilled withouth porn. Which would clearly take mroe work then most men today want to envovled themselves with. Link to post Share on other sites
witabix Posted June 8, 2010 Share Posted June 8, 2010 There seems to be a 'thought police' undercurrent running through some of this thread. A persons inner mind, the bit that fantasizes, is not for public consumption. No one has to feel enabled to fantasize. How many people fantasize about winning the lottery? Does that mean that they are completely unsatisfied with their lives? Surely not. I have had gf's who like to share their fantasies, watching porn and jointly fantasizing about the action. There is nothing weird about it, IMO, its just a fantasy. One of the gfs would almost orgasm when she saw a guy with a big one come off, I didn't feel threatened by this, it was a turn on watching her get turned on by her own fantasies. All this 'men are never satisfied' is equally true for both genders. Its not about being satisfied with your partner or not being satisfied, it seems to me it is about having a healthy libido and an avenue to express it. I would have thought repression of your sexuality to be unhealthy for you. I am not including actions which harm others. Link to post Share on other sites
Stockalone Posted June 8, 2010 Share Posted June 8, 2010 Honestly, I was surprised that out of all the people who read the post or even replied there wasn't even one man that could say no That's not true. Link to post Share on other sites
MrNate Posted June 9, 2010 Share Posted June 9, 2010 Male porn use is very much about male insecurity in itself. That's why in most porn, the man is the one in control and always performs, and the woman always acts like everything he does is gold. It all feeds into male insecurity. So don't try to shame women by trying to use the good old stand by of "they are just insecure!" And you are right, it certainly isn't possible to spend all day in bed. However, It makes no sense as a defense. It's not possible for my man to stasify my everh whim the second I need it either. Do I seek out other men or sit infront of my computer seeking out that fullfillment? No. I use self control. Something men are very much capable of but do not want to practice because it takes a certain amount of integrity and strength that too many men today just don't have. It's easier to justify self fullfilling yourself under illogical rationale as "well if *she* could only stay in be d with me all day I wouldn't have to fantasy". That's BS Dude and you know it. So women practice much more self control than men now. Is this one of the many one-ups women have on men? Surely you have more you would like to add. God, help us. Link to post Share on other sites
MrNate Posted June 9, 2010 Share Posted June 9, 2010 I agree 100%!!! I find it hard to believe that if a man is in a committed relationship where he is truly happy and fulfilled why not fight the urge to think about, fantasize about or masturbate to a woman who isn't your spouse?!?! They also justify it by saying its only a thought that they wouldn't act upon it. Well.... I have a question? Let's say, you are in a relationship, you are very happy with your spouse but the neighbors wife is very attractive, you've noticed and you've wondered and one day she comes onto you... what now? how long will it take to turn from fantasy to reality? Can't men keep any thoughts to themselves?? Jeez. No one needs to know what's going on in our heads 24/7. Thank goodness that's one thing we can keep to ourselves...our thoughts. You women are wasting energy complaining about something you can't control. That is called suffering. Men will always think of random things, and yep, women are included in that. Link to post Share on other sites
Bangle Posted June 9, 2010 Share Posted June 9, 2010 Jersey and Mrs Smith seem very insecure in themselves and seem very bitter. As nate says thoughts are just thoughts and as long as someone doesn't act on them then there is nothing wrong with thoughts. Men must really suffer being with women like the those two. Link to post Share on other sites
Jersey Shortie Posted June 9, 2010 Share Posted June 9, 2010 There seems to be a 'thought police' undercurrent running through some of this thread. It makes no logical sense to me that when this topic comes up, shaming comments like "thought police" get tossed around. If this topic was about politics and what you felt was right vs someone else, you wouldn't be telling them they were "thought police" because they disagreed. Further, since no one mandated that they wanted to personally control what others thought, "thought police" is a gross injustice to having an open communication. While things are often explained as *just* fantasy, it's a peek into the a part of the person that can say alot about a person. And even if it's *just* fantasy, iti can still be threatening because it does express a certain level of disatisfaction. How many people fantasize about winning the lottery? Does that mean that they are completely unsatisfied with their lives? Surely not. Completely? Of course not. Somewhat? Yes. People make do with what they have. Ask anyone here if they would love to win the lottery and everyone would say yes. Even if it was to give it all away to charity. So while I understand a bit of fantasy is totally normal, I think the level of time some people spend in fantasy world isn't. And women are told with undeniable regularity how much men will fantasize about this woman or that women. Not even drawing a line when it comes to a girls own sister or best friend. I don't see men drawing many lines at all when it comes to their sexuality. Infact, I think modern day man is perversally both out of control with their sexuality, using it to justify any number of "natural" behaviors, and ironically prude about it in other regards. It's pretty humilating as woman to realize that your man, the man that suppose to be loyal to you, is thinking about boffing your best friend. When do men ever draw the line? For alot of women, it seems like men never do. All this 'men are never satisfied' is equally true for both genders. Its not about being satisfied with your partner or not being satisfied, it seems to me it is about having a healthy libido and an avenue to express it. I agree that having a healthy libido and an avenue to express it is important. I disagree that expressing it through porn or any fantasy that pops into your mind is always healthy. Or the fact that more men probably spend more time in fantasy land on their computers or Iphones, then in real life engaging with real women and finding things in the real world to be excited about. I would have thought repression of your sexuality to be unhealthy for you. I am not including actions which harm others. Who talked about repression? Self control does not equal repression. I seee very few lines or boundries men draw when it comes to their sexuality. If a man feels it sexually, it seems to be automatically justifyable. It seems that more men are eager to tout their lack of self control and indulgences then they are the real qualties that make for good stable partners. Jersey and Mrs Smith seem very insecure in themselves and seem very bitter. As nate says thoughts are just thoughts and as long as someone doesn't act on them then there is nothing wrong with thoughts. Men must really suffer being with women like the those two. Childish much? A) You are clearly insecure yourself Bangle or yuo never would have made such comments. B) I do have my insecurities. This I never denied. How does this make my comments any less intelligent? It doesn't. So nothing is wrong with thoughts as no one acts on them. Are thoughts pedophiles have okay as long as they don't act on them? I certainly don't think so. Just because you have a thought, doesn't mean you committed any awful act. But it doesn't mean it's healthy or right either. I'm just tired of seeing men defend their weaknesses instead of practicing their strengths. Link to post Share on other sites
Bangle Posted June 9, 2010 Share Posted June 9, 2010 Why do you have a problem with pornography or men having fantasies over other women? Link to post Share on other sites
txsilkysmoothe Posted June 9, 2010 Share Posted June 9, 2010 The subject came up with a friend of mine... Her husband on the other hand has no problem gawking at other women in front of her and even making comments on how hot they are... I've always been kind of curious anyway but it got me thinking... is it really ALL men or just the male stereotype? Is just men who are unsatisfied or is it just a common thing? I think this is him showing a lack of respect for his wife and why would he want her to know he is attracted to other women? Link to post Share on other sites
Engadget Posted June 9, 2010 Share Posted June 9, 2010 Proof that no matter what you do for a guy, men care more about quantity then qualitity. So what does this tell me? No point in trying since either way the outcome is the same. You try with a guy, he will still want to bang other women. You don't try with a guy, he will still want to bang other women. So why try? Men certainly don't offer more loyatly. Women can't win either way. Take care of a guy, have his kids, destroy your body, and he is oggling the college girls at the gym. Why? Because that's what's important at the end of the day. Oh knock it off, that's not true at all. Link to post Share on other sites
MrNate Posted June 9, 2010 Share Posted June 9, 2010 (edited) Jersey and Mrs Smith seem very insecure in themselves and seem very bitter. As nate says thoughts are just thoughts and as long as someone doesn't act on them then there is nothing wrong with thoughts. Men must really suffer being with women like the those two. I just really can't be with a woman who is obsessed with my every thought. If Im with a woman, then clearly she is different from all the rest, which is why I chose her. Edited June 9, 2010 by MrNate Link to post Share on other sites
witabix Posted June 9, 2010 Share Posted June 9, 2010 It makes no logical sense to me that when this topic comes up, shaming comments like "thought police" get tossed around. If this topic was about politics and what you felt was right vs someone else, you wouldn't be telling them they were "thought police" because they disagreed. I did not intend for it to be 'shaming'. This is not a political discussion. If someone were to try and tell me that my socialist fantasy was an unacceptable thing to fantasize about I would be suspicious of their motives. Further, since no one mandated that they wanted to personally control what others thought, "thought police" is a gross injustice to having an open communication. No one mandated it, but the suggestion that fantasies are somehow disrespectful is a way of saying that they are disallowed. The thread started with a question about what men fantasised about and has turned into the disclosures being proof of lack of control. As for open communication, well a few men posted their answers and we are now seeing the comeback. While things are often explained as *just* fantasy, it's a peek into the a part of the person that can say alot about a person. And even if it's *just* fantasy, iti can still be threatening because it does express a certain level of disatisfaction. This is precisely what I was on about, find out what soemone is thinking and villify it. We can disregard what people say about fantasy just being a 'fantasy' and turn it into threatening and dissatisfaction. Completely? Of course not. Somewhat? Yes. People make do with what they have. Ask anyone here if they would love to win the lottery and everyone would say yes. Even if it was to give it all away to charity. And then we could say they were money mad megalomaniacs, no? So while I understand a bit of fantasy is totally normal, I think the level of time some people spend in fantasy world isn't. And women are told with undeniable regularity how much men will fantasize about this woman or that women. Not even drawing a line when it comes to a girls own sister or best friend. I don't see men drawing many lines at all when it comes to their sexuality. Infact, I think modern day man is perversally both out of control with their sexuality, using it to justify any number of "natural" behaviors, and ironically prude about it in other regards. It's pretty humilating as woman to realize that your man, the man that suppose to be loyal to you, is thinking about boffing your best friend. When do men ever draw the line? For alot of women, it seems like men never do. The amount of time spent in fantasy world? What level are we talking about? Where has anyone said they spend 23 hours fantasizing about their brother's wife or wife's cousin/sister/mum/aunt etc? Reverse the genders and look at it then, don't tell me 'women never fantasize about men' because that is just not true. I agree that having a healthy libido and an avenue to express it is important. I disagree that expressing it through porn or any fantasy that pops into your mind is always healthy. Or the fact that more men probably spend more time in fantasy land on their computers or Iphones, then in real life engaging with real women and finding things in the real world to be excited about. Well you are free to disagree, but people will use porn as fantasy as well as the 'thought that pops into your mind. I am not sure if it is anyones place to say how much or about what a person fantasizes. As for the people who are locked into some kind of addiction that is a different matter. Who talked about repression? Self control does not equal repression. I seee very few lines or boundries men draw when it comes to their sexuality. If a man feels it sexually, it seems to be automatically justifyable. It seems that more men are eager to tout their lack of self control and indulgences then they are the real qualties that make for good stable partners. Self control is repression, repressing an urge to do something is what self control implies, if you have no urge to control you cannot exercise self control. Mens sexual feelings are automatically justified, that should be true as long as they are within the law and don't hurt anyone. ..... So nothing is wrong with thoughts as no one acts on them. Are thoughts pedophiles have okay as long as they don't act on them? I certainly don't think so. Just because you have a thought, doesn't mean you committed any awful act. But it doesn't mean it's healthy or right either. I'm just tired of seeing men defend their weaknesses instead of practicing their strengths. Was that a question? Well you have to make up your mind wether or not you want to be able to say what is right and healthy or what is not right or healthy to think. I am not defending anything other than the ability to have your own thoughts without them being attacked as wrong or unhealthy because they are fantasies about sex with my wife's sister. People have minds, minds need using, fantasy harms no one, I see no problem. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mrs.Smith Posted June 9, 2010 Author Share Posted June 9, 2010 That's not true. [FONT=Calibri][sIZE=3]Stockalone.... I do apologize, I must have missed your reply. Thank you for your honesty. It's nice to see that there is a man who can respect the woman he is with and share the same feelings of loyalty.[/sIZE][/FONT] No one needs to know what's going on in our heads 24/7. Thank goodness that's one thing we can keep to ourselves...our thoughts. [sIZE=3][FONT=Calibri]I agree... You don't have to, you shouldn't have to tell your spouse or whoever everything you are thinking about. They are your personal thoughts. That isn't it at all... I personally have never asked my husband his opinion on this subject(part of the reason I brought it up as a thread) I am curious, but I really don't care enough to make an issue out of it. But, I would hope that I am enough to keep him satisfied even in his thoughts. And I do hope that he has enough respect for me that he could control thoughts about my best friend or the neighbor's wife. [/FONT][/sIZE] [FONT=Calibri][sIZE=3] [/sIZE][/FONT] Jersey and Mrs Smith seem very insecure in themselves and seem very bitter. As nate says thoughts are just thoughts and as long as someone doesn't act on them then there is nothing wrong with thoughts. Men must really suffer being with women like the those two. [FONT=Calibri][sIZE=3] [/sIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Calibri][sIZE=3]Talk about insecurities..... You feel the need to personally attack us? Someone challenges your beliefs and that's what you resort to? [/sIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Calibri][sIZE=3]Starting this thread I knew and was prepared for men to answer in ways I don't agree with, but not once (until now) did I discredit what you think is right or personally attack any of you! Unlike you, I DO have an open mind and I am willing to learn and understand why you feel the way you do. Hence, all the questions and my personal thoughts. We each have our own beliefs on what we feel is right or wrong. Just because I don't agree with you doesn't mean you are wrong or there is something wrong you, it just means we don't agree. And the insecurities thing, none of you can deny that you don't have a certain level of insecurity, its natural, and if you don't have them then there really is something wrong with you. As a matter of fact, I believe that is why you got so defensive about it... Your lack of security in yourself or your relationship. It must really kill you to know that my husband is more than enough to keep me satisfied and thoughts the of other men out of my head, knowing he can do it for me like no one else. Meanwhile, you are sitting here telling us that you encourage your girlfriend to fantasize about other men. Is that because you know you can't fulfill her or is it because now it gives you a clear conscience about you doing it yourself? That is another thing , male egos... don't tell me you don't care if YOUR woman fantasizes about another men. On some level I'm sure you wouldn't like, whether you can overlook it or not. [/sIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Calibri][sIZE=3]Just so I'm clear, and I'm sure Jersey can agree, it's more about a RESPECT thing than anything else. And it's pretty obvious that you are lacking in the respect area. [/sIZE][/FONT] Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mrs.Smith Posted June 9, 2010 Author Share Posted June 9, 2010 (edited) I've never used a forum before, I was having troubles quoting and replying. Hopfully this makes more sence than the last post That's not true. Stockalone.... I do apologize, I must have missed your reply. Thank you for your honesty. It's nice to see that there is a man who can respect the woman he is with and share the same feelings of loyalty. Can't men keep any thoughts to themselves?? Jeez. No one needs to know what's going on in our heads 24/7. Thank goodness that's one thing we can keep to ourselves...our thoughts. You women are wasting energy complaining about something you can't control. That is called suffering. Men will always think of random things, and yep, women are included in that. I agree... You don't have to, you shouldn't have to tell your spouse or whoever everything you are thinking about. They are your personal thoughts. That isn't it at all... I personally have never asked my husband his opinion on this subject(part of the reason I brought it up as a thread) I am curious, but I really don't care enough to make an issue out of it. But, I would hope that I am enough to keep him satisfied even in his thoughts. And I do hope that he has enough respect for me that he could control thoughts about my best friend or the neighbor's wife. Jersey and Mrs Smith seem very insecure in themselves and seem very bitter. As nate says thoughts are just thoughts and as long as someone doesn't act on them then there is nothing wrong with thoughts. Men must really suffer being with women like the those two. Talk about insecurities..... You feel the need to personally attack us? Someone challenges your beliefs and that's what you resort to?! Starting this thread I knew and was prepared for men to answer in ways I don't agree with, but not once (until now) did I discredit what you think is right or personally attack any of you! Unlike you, I DO have an open mind and I am willing to learn and understand why you feel the way you do. Hence, all the questions and my personal thoughts. We each have our own beliefs on what we feel is right or wrong. Just because I don't agree with you doesn't mean you are wrong or there is something wrong you, it just means we don't agree. And the insecurities thing, none of you can deny that you don't have a certain level of insecurity, its natural, and if you don't have them then there really is something wrong with you. As a matter of fact, I believe that is why you got so defensive about it... Your lack of security in yourself or your relationship. It must really kill you to know that my husband is more than enough to keep me satisfied and thoughts the of other men out of my head, knowing he can do it for me like no one else. Meanwhile, you are sitting here telling us that you encourage your girlfriend to fantasize about other men. Is that because you know you can't fulfill her or is it because now it gives you a clear conscience about you doing it yourself? That is another thing , male egos... don't tell me you don't care if YOUR woman fantasizes about another men. On some level I'm sure you wouldn't like, whether you can overlook it or not. Just so I'm clear, and I'm sure Jersey can agree, it's more about a RESPECT thing than anything else. And it's pretty obvious that you are lacking in the respect area. [FONT=Calibri][sIZE=3] [/sIZE][/FONT] Edited June 9, 2010 by Mrs.Smith Link to post Share on other sites
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