Author asia2269 Posted June 9, 2010 Author Share Posted June 9, 2010 I also missed the abuse part, Asia. You should leave this guy. Violence has no part in any kind of relationship. Just Joe he was very sorry for what he did...He said he will never do that again...I have been very calm about everything right now...Next time he blows up I'm out...Thanks for your concern Just Joe Link to post Share on other sites
Author asia2269 Posted June 9, 2010 Author Share Posted June 9, 2010 Hey Asia----you keep talking about your (maybe) BF's looks----looks are in the eye of the beholder---and looks are only skin deep----there are a lot more things to think about when hooking up with a partner. Also as to good looking guys----there are an inumerable amount that are married, who are true to their wives, and who don't cheat----The world is filled with all kinds of people----If this guy is not for you anymore----leave and find another partner----just don't test him by dangling another woman in front of him JNJ express well said...That was an experience and a lesson learned...The test was well worth it...Although the outcome what was not that I expected...I'm just waiting I'm just confuse as to whether or not he claims to be what he says about himself... Link to post Share on other sites
Author asia2269 Posted June 9, 2010 Author Share Posted June 9, 2010 Absolutely yes. Note, though, that you never stated anything this clearly before I asked my question, which is why I asked it. Now that you have clarified, yes, I agree, a bruise is physical injury, and is no way for friends, lovers, partners, or spouses to interact. Trimmer he was very sorry for what he did...He said he will never do that again....I hope not....I couldn't be specific since I was trying to ask some feedbacks unless asked as to how the abuse took place...I didn't know that this fun would lead to something so destructive...Again, he claims it made our relationship stronger... Link to post Share on other sites
Author asia2269 Posted June 9, 2010 Author Share Posted June 9, 2010 Sure it's considered physical. It just took many tries to get that clarified. There is quite a bit that is beyond my comprehension in this whole scenario. Mme. Chaucer I do apologize and I didn't want to confuse anyone...Sometimes we leave the specifics and write something vague unless asked just to clarify the situation... Link to post Share on other sites
jnj express Posted June 10, 2010 Share Posted June 10, 2010 Hey asia----just exactly what does your BF, have to say about the whole situation----sit him down, make him talk about his thinking----what is he thinking in re: the future of your relationship??????----what is he thinking about whether he wants to sow more wild oats, before settling down?????? What is your thinking as to a future with him----do you wanna give it a trial period----you need to decide---trust issues---are you gonna have to be a prison guard for the rest of your time with this guy---are you gonna be looking over your shoulder----are you gonna constantly be checking his electronics-----What is it gonna take to have a solid peaceful relationship----can you ever get back to those carefree days prior to the sex act that sent your relationship spinning out of control----bottom line---WHAT DO YOU REALLY WANT??????? Link to post Share on other sites
Author asia2269 Posted June 10, 2010 Author Share Posted June 10, 2010 Hey asia----just exactly what does your BF, have to say about the whole situation----sit him down, make him talk about his thinking----what is he thinking in re: the future of your relationship??????----what is he thinking about whether he wants to sow more wild oats, before settling down?????? What is your thinking as to a future with him----do you wanna give it a trial period----you need to decide---trust issues---are you gonna have to be a prison guard for the rest of your time with this guy---are you gonna be looking over your shoulder----are you gonna constantly be checking his electronics-----What is it gonna take to have a solid peaceful relationship----can you ever get back to those carefree days prior to the sex act that sent your relationship spinning out of control----bottom line---WHAT DO YOU REALLY WANT??????? JNJ express he proposed to me last Sunday which I accept...He wants us to move forward on this experience but we can't move forward if she is still there...He tells me he loves me but, the problem lies with me I created something that is haunting me...I dodn't know if they really ended it for he claims he did...The thing that holds me back is that he tried it and loved it...will he do that again this time by himself...A lot of things are going on in my mind and he got a contract in Arizona that he will be leaving California by July and will take me with him so I took LOA from work...He said he will fly every weekend to be with me...I was thinkng that's great but as for me I really want to settle down and I'm done with the single life...I just don't want to be cheated again that would lead to divore you know... Link to post Share on other sites
jnj express Posted June 11, 2010 Share Posted June 11, 2010 Did you accept a proposal of mge. If so, do you really think you are ready to marry this guy, based on recent events. Yes you screwed up dangling the other female in front of him----BUT he wasn't spose to get involved with her-----DO YOU KNOW FOR SURE THAT THEY ARE NOT STILL INVOLVED-- IMHO, you should not have given a yes answer and left your work, for a situation where you, yourself are not sure what the future will bring. Bottom line what is your gut instinct telling you about A FUTURE with this guy----resolve that BEFORE you make changes that will affect you for, possibly a very long time Link to post Share on other sites
Author asia2269 Posted June 11, 2010 Author Share Posted June 11, 2010 Did you accept a proposal of mge. If so, do you really think you are ready to marry this guy, based on recent events. Yes you screwed up dangling the other female in front of him----BUT he wasn't spose to get involved with her-----DO YOU KNOW FOR SURE THAT THEY ARE NOT STILL INVOLVED-- IMHO, you should not have given a yes answer and left your work, for a situation where you, yourself are not sure what the future will bring. Bottom line what is your gut instinct telling you about A FUTURE with this guy----resolve that BEFORE you make changes that will affect you for, possibly a very long time JNJ Express thank you for that wake up statement. I know I messed up. I was very apologetic for it and I take full responsibility for I really thought it was just for fun and fantasy. I wouldn't have thought that they would like each other and talk behind my back. I did say yes but at the back of my mind like that night I wanted to show affection to him he said he was tired but the phone records show he sent her a multimedia message and the outrageous phone calls and text stops me. I told them to stop on 5/22 and the last conversation they had was 5/23. Quite frankly I don't know if they truly stopped since I told him that I have the phone records. He did state that he wants us to move forward and the experience is over. In that part I'm being dumb since the bottom line I messed up big time. I'm slowly trying to trust him but I really don't know and you are right my gut instinct tells me it's not over but on the other hand this can of worms I opened tells me to trsut...I'm confused and thank you for letting me know... Link to post Share on other sites
jnj express Posted June 11, 2010 Share Posted June 11, 2010 Hey asia-----why don't you slow everything way, way down---and keep your job Are you really willing to subvert your life, and give up everything you are, and have---and trust yourself completely to this guy--who you already know yields to temtation----- Keep your life, keep your job---and go slow, and see where it leads----If it doesn't work out with him---there are millions of other men out there Link to post Share on other sites
Author asia2269 Posted June 11, 2010 Author Share Posted June 11, 2010 Hey asia-----why don't you slow everything way, way down---and keep your job Are you really willing to subvert your life, and give up everything you are, and have---and trust yourself completely to this guy--who you already know yields to temtation----- Keep your life, keep your job---and go slow, and see where it leads----If it doesn't work out with him---there are millions of other men out there JNJ you really made my Friday...I will keep my job and it's not wise right now with the current economy...That's the part I'm still scared about yes he yields to temptation...True there are millions of men out there but, I'm scared to take that leap for one thing I'm a magnet to players and not to mention I had not met a guy who has not cheated on me because I can be very trusting and not to mention ditzy about them...sad but true...do I made up my mind that i will just work 2 jobs until i retire if this doesn't improve... Link to post Share on other sites
jnj express Posted June 11, 2010 Share Posted June 11, 2010 Hey asia----so your deal is that you like the "bad boys"----you know what that's based on, looks, and a line----but I am willing to bet a whole lot of green----THAT NOT ONE OF THOSE HOT LOOKERS IS WORTH VERY MUCH IN AN EMERGENCY----not one of them will be very good when it comes to responsibility, or child rearing, or paying bills, or keeping a home. There is a whole lot more to a relationship than looks. Maybe you need to start looking at everything before you give yourself up. Other thing is remember these players ALL HAVE LINES, AND THEY ALL LIE Life is made up of a whole lot more than looks and words Link to post Share on other sites
triad Posted June 12, 2010 Share Posted June 12, 2010 .....I would like to start by stating that threesome is not just getting naked and having sex. You have to make sure everyone involve knows it is just for fun and nothing else. .... My boyfriend is 62 and his platonic friend of 30 years (that he said he couldn't have sex with for 30 years because her body made him want to vomit) is now making love to me and having sex with her as well. He somehow got over her fat gut, cellulitic thighs and flaccid buttocks (I'm quoting him verbatim). These are the expressions he used when he described her. If your boyfriend is offering you this nonsense now while you're young, imagine what he's going to want you to swallow when you're our age. By the way, I am not happy with his doing the old fat girlfriend. I am furious and I'm trying to control my jealousy (which is clearly eating a hole in me). Go find another boyfriend because if your boyfriend is that duplicitous now while you're so young - he'll be hell to deal with when he's my age. Link to post Share on other sites
Author asia2269 Posted June 12, 2010 Author Share Posted June 12, 2010 Hey asia----so your deal is that you like the "bad boys"----you know what that's based on, looks, and a line----but I am willing to bet a whole lot of green----THAT NOT ONE OF THOSE HOT LOOKERS IS WORTH VERY MUCH IN AN EMERGENCY----not one of them will be very good when it comes to responsibility, or child rearing, or paying bills, or keeping a home. There is a whole lot more to a relationship than looks. Maybe you need to start looking at everything before you give yourself up. Other thing is remember these players ALL HAVE LINES, AND THEY ALL LIE Life is made up of a whole lot more than looks and words JNJ express you always make my day...I am not into looks...I like men who have brains but always end up with players...Because most of the guys that I like are taken... Link to post Share on other sites
Author asia2269 Posted June 12, 2010 Author Share Posted June 12, 2010 .....I would like to start by stating that threesome is not just getting naked and having sex. You have to make sure everyone involve knows it is just for fun and nothing else. .... My boyfriend is 62 and his platonic friend of 30 years (that he said he couldn't have sex with for 30 years because her body made him want to vomit) is now making love to me and having sex with her as well. He somehow got over her fat gut, cellulitic thighs and flaccid buttocks (I'm quoting him verbatim). These are the expressions he used when he described her. If your boyfriend is offering you this nonsense now while you're young, imagine what he's going to want you to swallow when you're our age. By the way, I am not happy with his doing the old fat girlfriend. I am furious and I'm trying to control my jealousy (which is clearly eating a hole in me). Go find another boyfriend because if your boyfriend is that duplicitous now while you're so young - he'll be hell to deal with when he's my age. Triad my heart goes to you...You help me a lot and made me realize things...I know the reason why you are staying...It's unfair for you...I have never thought so much about this relationship as much as I think about it right now...Thanks for helping me...I wish you well.... Link to post Share on other sites
jnj express Posted June 13, 2010 Share Posted June 13, 2010 OK asia----lets take this back to basics----you maybe need a different way to meet your social partners-----1st what age group are you in----if you don't want to be exact --give me a 5 yr grouping. Then tell me where you go to meet men---do you try to find dates by going to online dating sites---or chatrooms---or matchmaking services----or going to bars---or getting fixed up by friends, and relatives----How do you go about meeting men------what are you looking for ---when you do attempt to meet possible dates----just a general overview for now---- Link to post Share on other sites
Author asia2269 Posted June 13, 2010 Author Share Posted June 13, 2010 OK asia----lets take this back to basics----you maybe need a different way to meet your social partners-----1st what age group are you in----if you don't want to be exact --give me a 5 yr grouping. Then tell me where you go to meet men---do you try to find dates by going to online dating sites---or chatrooms---or matchmaking services----or going to bars---or getting fixed up by friends, and relatives----How do you go about meeting men------what are you looking for ---when you do attempt to meet possible dates----just a general overview for now---- JNJ only through friends and if one approaches me anywhere and wants to buy me a drink or try to strike a conversation i try to brush it off in a polite way...I'm 40 and this website helps me a lot in certain issues...You really seem like a very nice person...I put my info for friends guys give me their numbers i dont respond nor' call...I prefer smart men and decent...I'm not into looks but education is a plus...I love fine dining and red wine on special events..I feel like im putting a date web page..hahaha..I don't think my luck will ever change though with men i told you im cursed im a magnet for players...lol Link to post Share on other sites
jnj express Posted June 14, 2010 Share Posted June 14, 2010 Hey asia-----this is kind of a different approach but I think it works well for those who have kind of innocently fallen into it----I don't know where you live but I would assume, there are golf courses around you, and hopefully a race track (the ponies, not cars) In normal dating specially in the beginning---when you 1st start going out, no matter what you do (tho it usually involves, coffee, or a meal, or a bar, or a party or dance) everyone is playing their little games----you know what I mean---it is not a really totally relaxed situation---you are also looking at this person and wondering whether there is a future, whether to end it before it starts---whether you need to involve sex, and when---once again you know what I mean. First let me say that there are always gonna be jerks in every situation, and many times in dating you can't avoid them----BUT if you were to play golf or take up golf---when you go play a round of golf---and you would go by yourself---it is very possible you will be put in a 4some with 1 to 3 men---in many instances they would be eligible for dating----the thing is---that you are not there to date---so you are gonna be thrown together with these guys for 4 to 6 hours in a completely relaxed atmosphere---and you would be surprised what comes of it, and the type of guy you meet. Same with the race track---a full afternoon or evening race card involves 4 to 5 hours---you are there relaxed you have a good possibility of meeting eligible men under a non-stress relaxed situation---and again you never can tell what happens These are just 2 examples of where to meet men who are not on the prowl, who are not playing a game, and who are totally different than what you might be accustomed to Link to post Share on other sites
Author asia2269 Posted June 14, 2010 Author Share Posted June 14, 2010 Hey asia-----this is kind of a different approach but I think it works well for those who have kind of innocently fallen into it----I don't know where you live but I would assume, there are golf courses around you, and hopefully a race track (the ponies, not cars) In normal dating specially in the beginning---when you 1st start going out, no matter what you do (tho it usually involves, coffee, or a meal, or a bar, or a party or dance) everyone is playing their little games----you know what I mean---it is not a really totally relaxed situation---you are also looking at this person and wondering whether there is a future, whether to end it before it starts---whether you need to involve sex, and when---once again you know what I mean. First let me say that there are always gonna be jerks in every situation, and many times in dating you can't avoid them----BUT if you were to play golf or take up golf---when you go play a round of golf---and you would go by yourself---it is very possible you will be put in a 4some with 1 to 3 men---in many instances they would be eligible for dating----the thing is---that you are not there to date---so you are gonna be thrown together with these guys for 4 to 6 hours in a completely relaxed atmosphere---and you would be surprised what comes of it, and the type of guy you meet. Same with the race track---a full afternoon or evening race card involves 4 to 5 hours---you are there relaxed you have a good possibility of meeting eligible men under a non-stress relaxed situation---and again you never can tell what happens These are just 2 examples of where to meet men who are not on the prowl, who are not playing a game, and who are totally different than what you might be accustomed to JNJ Express..Happy Monday!..I don't know how to play golf...I guess it's a start...Race track I have been to but I was always with someone here in the bay area like the recent Kentuky Derby...I think of your advice as not to meet men but a sport to learn...Plus not to mention men are pretty decent who frequent play such sport...I promise myself this to catch him one more time and I'm really walking away for reals...I'm in this scared and nervous situation for I though of him as my last stop as stupid as it may sound...You know what I really want is to have a lot of guy friends not for sex or anything just friends to watch plays, go to the wimeries and even play golf....It's just hard to find good guy friends y'know...JNJ Express question for you do you think they stopped talking and seeing each other...I'm so confuse and if I ask he never gives me an answer...How will I find out?...He has 2 phones one for work and personal so far the personal doesn't have anything but, the work I dont know... Link to post Share on other sites
jnj express Posted June 14, 2010 Share Posted June 14, 2010 What do your instincts tell you about your (is he still a BF, or has his status changed---is there still something there) friend---- How much are you around him----When you are around him --how does he act----Is he trying to hide anything--- When you say Bay Area---are you talking San Fransisco Link to post Share on other sites
Author asia2269 Posted June 14, 2010 Author Share Posted June 14, 2010 What do your instincts tell you about your (is he still a BF, or has his status changed---is there still something there) friend---- How much are you around him----When you are around him --how does he act----Is he trying to hide anything--- When you say Bay Area---are you talking San Fransisco JNJ we live together but he works...He use to call me a lot but for some reason he tries to call me a little bit here and there...He tries to find loopholes and I know he has so many things in his mind but he wasnt like that...He was thinking last week I confronted him and he still denies that they are still talking..Infact he said for me to prove it..I'm with him most of the time except when his at work and works on the weekend...I don't know but when I question him about it lets say he turns 160 degrees and is much sweeter and nicer to me..I know he has mood swings but its quite a huge turn...I want to find out...I did purchase a phone tracker thing but I cant program it on my phone for I dont know how to download the software to my phone and I paid...All I want is the TRUTH...Can you help me?...What do you think I should do... Yes I'm in San Francisco...friend Link to post Share on other sites
jnj express Posted June 15, 2010 Share Posted June 15, 2010 I tried to send you a PM---but your PM is locked---do you wanna unlock, or just stay out here---let me know Link to post Share on other sites
Author asia2269 Posted June 15, 2010 Author Share Posted June 15, 2010 I tried to send you a PM---but your PM is locked---do you wanna unlock, or just stay out here---let me know Sorry what is PM...I'm so bad at this Link to post Share on other sites
Trimmer Posted June 15, 2010 Share Posted June 15, 2010 I tried to send you a PM---but your PM is locked---do you wanna unlock, or just stay out here---let me know She just joined recently and only has a few tens of posts, so her PM (Private Messaging) is probably not enabled yet. It takes time and posts for that to be enabled on a "free" account, however, if you become a supporting member, your PM is enabled immediately. Link to post Share on other sites
Author asia2269 Posted June 15, 2010 Author Share Posted June 15, 2010 She just joined recently and only has a few tens of posts, so her PM (Private Messaging) is probably not enabled yet. It takes time and posts for that to be enabled on a "free" account, however, if you become a supporting member, your PM is enabled immediately. Trimmer how do I unlock my PM?... Link to post Share on other sites
jnj express Posted June 16, 2010 Share Posted June 16, 2010 Hey asia---let me know when you are able to take PM's---in the mean time-----In watching your BF, during your daily exchanges----do you notice anything different---clothes, how he conducts himself----how he spends his time away from you-----He seems to change when you question him on the subject of the OW----how does he change, at least what are you percieving-------He could just be keeping everything as normal as possible----just to keep you from getting suspicious------the 2 of you are not married, so he still has a right to his privacy---but does he spend time sending and recieving e-mail, or facebook, or my space, that is out of line, as to what it was prior to your setting up the 3some----I E, are there differences, you can percieve,--------If so what are they, and why do they bother you-----also in this discussion, cell phone, and messaging should come into play----- Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts