so I think I blew my chance with this guy

[fiat500]

I met this person through a friend about a year ago but we didn't start hanging out until two months ago. In the two months that we've spent time together, he asked me out about three times and I shot him down all three. My reasons for doing so was that I wanted to get to know him better, I didn't want to jump into a relationship, and I was happy with where I was at the moment. I was also in denial because the idea of a relationship wasn't my cup of tea at that time and I was determined to stay single.

 

So. I'm dumb. I find myself thinking about him a lot and wish that I didn't. I like him. But he hasn't talked to me or has asked me to hang out in two weeks. I know this is my fault. I'm pretty sure I blew my chance with him. I'd feel really stupid if I asked him to hang out and found out he found someone else since I was too slow at making a decision.

 

What would you do?

[Mac91]

Well you won't know until you ask right?

If he was interested in you, he should still be interested in you... just explain to him your situation... ie. what you just said here, and he should understand.

 

He might've found someone else, he might've not... it's better than sitting there and then regretting it even more later on.

[carhill]

1. Dating and relationships are two very different things.

 

2. Three strikes and you're out. At my age, one strike and you're out.

 

3. IMO, your only salvation is being honest, and doing it face to face.

 

Good luck

[Feelin Frisky]

It's not hopeless. I would suggest asking him to a neutral setting like lunch or breakfast on a Sunday morning and be honest that you would really appreciate the opportunity to communicate something that you need to explain. This way you're not cornering yourself or setting yourself up for a date rejection. If he is willing to meet you in a such a setting, it shows there's hope. Then you can explain that you've been close-minded and resolved to a certain reality which you have really thought hard about and are ready because of him (perhaps) to change. See how he reacts. If it's favorable, ask if it's not too late to take him up on his offer of a date. The circumstances of being in a neutral setting will make him feel free to say at worst that he thinks perhaps it wasn't meant to be and you can part amicably. At best he can feel for you and understand you really want to "come out" of your shell and feel special about him as being a person to escort you.

 

I find breakfast on a weekend to offer the most freedom without it appearing desperate or "cornering".

[fiat500]

okay. I will keep breakfast in mind. Thank you. I've been killing myself over this because I don't want to appear needy or weak by initiating an invite, but at the same time I've been feeling utterly sick to my stomach because I really messed up.

 

I think I'll wait until next weekend to ask him to breakfast or something. I'm not feeling courageous enough to do it this weekend I'm also freaking out on the inside and being overly dramatic and I really hate the idea of losing my head over some guy. I refuse to be a sputtering mess.

Edited June 5, 2010 by fiat500

[Brady_to_Moss]

Let me get this strait...you shot him down because you didn't want a relationship even though going on a date with him IS getting to know him and DOES NOT mean you are getting into a relationship? Now you are going to ask him out? Good luck with that one.

[JeffFatherree]

Ask him to hang out once.. Invite him to something neutral like an afternoon lunch or ask him to do you a favor..If he is still even slightly interested he will take you up on it..then go from there.