Liking your friend

[Jessiey]

I had when to a party with my family and saw this really ute guy there.I really liked him lot.I knew that I could never be with him because I was to yough and he only wanted to be my friend but I when I talk to him I feel that I want to be with him more.I now he nows how I feel about him but I think he is going with some body and I get mad but I can't do any thing.I really want to be with him but even if he liked me we still can't be together because he is my mom's boyfriends cousin.I never felt this way about anyone but I feel that I am never going to see any one again.He was special from every one eals I have been with.I am mad when he doesn't write to me.Because he lives far away and all we can do is e-mail each other.I now that I am five years away from him but I want him to wait.I am waiting for him.I keep hearing people say just go on but I can't.Enery time I with him I am happy and feel really good inside but when he leaves I feel bad.After he leaves all I do is clean because I feel that he will come back.I can't act like my self when he comes around.I just want to be with him forever.I may be young but I now what I want and how I feel and I really feel that I need him to make me happy and so much more.

[Tony T]

If you feel like you need a specific person to be happy, you are in deep trouble. The guy has a girlfriend, he is your mom's boyfriend's cousin (not that awful), and he lives far away.

 

If he always has a girlfriend, is always your mom's boyfriend's cousin, and always lives far away, you have a real problem. It will even worsen if he gets married.

 

I think it is absolutely fine to go head over heals for somebody like him. I have gone ape over girls before who had boyfriends but I knew it was wrong to go after them (and could be dangerous for me as well). I've always know that my happiness did not depend on a specific individual. Human beings are fallible...every one of them...and if you depend on them to make you happy, it's like depending on pets to do your homework. It just doesn't happen. You have to make your own self happy...and you have to keep the books away from Fido and do the work yourself.

 

Give yourself some time. I don't think five years age difference is a big deal but there are too many other factors going here that aren't positive. What I would do is sort of put him in your mind as a possiblity in the future but see other guys your age for now.

 

In a few years, if he isn't seeing anybody, if he lives close to you, and the cousin thing stops bothering you, maybe you can date him. My guess is that if you went out with him a few times, he might not be quite the guy you imagine him to be. Email is a whole lot different than bemale.

 

Maybe it's much better if you never date him. That way in your mind he can always and forever be the wonderful guy you think he is.

 

Meantime, stay in touch with him and hope his girlfriend doesn't monitor his Email account. It may sort of rub her the wrong way if he gets mushy with you in Email while he is seeing her. But if he did that, he wouldn't be so wonderful, uh?