Dealing with adversity

[Samson]

Blockhead:

 

Did anybody learn from the Colombine high school shooting? Apparently not! Was the problem racism, sexism, classism, or antisematism? No, it was the pecking order. Why do people refuse to believe that it exists, and deal with it?

 

What people are you talking about?

 

Many school systems, including my own, have a very aggressive anti-bullying program with almost no tolerance, easy reporting procedures, and very quick administrative followup. In addition, most "character development" lessons include an anti-bullying message.

 

The fact that we are "dealing with it" doesn't lessen your point: There is a "pecking order." But even I do not believe M's is trying to promote a pecking order that allows protection from the "weaker" members to be withdrawn for the sake of transparency. Ironically, it is a necessity NOT TO shield anyone from the facts of life especially if they are a bully or the victim of one.

 

We teach the signs of being bullied. We teach that it is wrong. We teach that it should be reported. None of this was happening before Columbine. Instead, everyone either pretended it never happened, or that if it did then it was harmlessly natural behavior.

[moimeme]

Blockhead

 

I hope you read and reread Samson's post. He's absolutely correct.

 

Let’s throw the weak to the wolves. They must learn to deal with it if they are to function in society

 

I didn't say anything of the kind. In fact, I said

 

the only way to manage the wretchedness is to be able to deal with the minor annoyances without running and hiding from them. Else when the true garbage hits, you'll be crippled.

 

In fact, though I wasn't thinking specifically of bullying, the case will serve. Running and hiding is, as Samson pointed out, pretty much what kids were forced to do for a long time - even their own parents would tell them that bullies are 'just boys being boys'. This was NOT dealing with the issue. If a child is given to understand that there are jerks who will bully them, that those jerks are completely in the wrong, and that there are effective ways to deal with the jerks, including reporting them, that is preparing the child to deal with troubles. Too, the child needs to have his/her self-esteem bolstered and reinforced so that the cruel jibes of bullies and kids will roll off their backs. This, too, is what I meant.

 

It does not help kids to hide the facts that there are jerks and idiots in the world and that they will have to deal with them throughout life. They need to be fortified with the courage and strength to stand up when wrong is done to them. The Columbine boys didn't feel they had any recourse or ability to have the bullying against them stopped. They didn't have the tools or support to withstand the treatment they received.