Mental Conditions and Deterioration of Marriage

[Gunny376]

So, now I sit alone with what I built for my family....I listen to the peace and quiet, and that has actually been a blessing. I do miss my son however....wish he were with me full time, but just cannot take the disrespect and treating me as his father did. I know I need to just let go of all of this anger, resentment of the job, the environment, at myself for being weak all these years. Funny, how you can have peace and quiet but still not have peace of mind.....I guess that is the mental condition.....or is it?

 

Its the culmantion of things? Its reconciling the person that you once were, with the person that you have become over the last fifiteen years.

 

I'm no pscyh, but in a lot of way what you've just posted is PTSD. All that's done ~ did and over with now. You can let it go ~ you've got to let it go, and let the past lay in the past.

 

What was? Was! What is? Is! And what will be will be.

 

Its a paradox? In that its going back to the beginning before you and the STBXH, school,l having children, ~ its going back to the best of the old you ~ before all the stress and the "Storms of Life" begin rolling over you.

 

 

Its embracing youself and becoming the person you were meant to be and overcoming your fear of of being alone. Its becoming that person living in the cabin by the lake.

 

Its you evolving, learning, growing...............................

[just_some_guy]

Thanks for relating your story trippi. I'm still working on mine, it is a very different story in many ways, yet similar in other ways.

 

I am in the process of gaining a lot of new insight and perspective from the Jungian school of thought. While I have to say I was and still am skeptical, there is considerable understanding to be had from it.

 

For myself, it is a healing and growing process, of embracing my whole self, not letting myself become possessed or seduced by my anima, nor repressing or seducing it. It is a search for wholeness, balance, center, within myself.

 

For my part in this, I allowed myself to be taken by moods, both good and bad which deny relatedness, clinging to love that was painful or destructive to myself and some other things that I attribute to an unhealthy state, such as a lack of proper and nurturing self-care, self-acceptance and so on.

 

I let myself be pushed down in the marriage relationship, slowly but surely. I let myself be controlled and manipulated, to take on the "good father" role for my spouses. I felt bound up and lost and became resentful and unhappy and more and more out of internal equilibrium.

[trippi1432]

So, now I sit alone with what I built for my family....I listen to the peace and quiet, and that has actually been a blessing. I do miss my son however....wish he were with me full time, but just cannot take the disrespect and treating me as his father did. I know I need to just let go of all of this anger, resentment of the job, the environment, at myself for being weak all these years. Funny, how you can have peace and quiet but still not have peace of mind.....I guess that is the mental condition.....or is it?

 

Its the culmantion of things? Its reconciling the person that you once were, with the person that you have become over the last fifiteen years.

 

I'm no pscyh, but in a lot of way what you've just posted is PTSD. All that's done ~ did and over with now. You can let it go ~ you've got to let it go, and let the past lay in the past.

 

What was? Was! What is? Is! And what will be will be.

 

Its a paradox? In that its going back to the beginning before you and the STBXH, school,l having children, ~ its going back to the best of the old you ~ before all the stress and the "Storms of Life" begin rolling over you.

 

 

Its embracing youself and becoming the person you were meant to be and overcoming your fear of of being alone. Its becoming that person living in the cabin by the lake.

 

Its you evolving, learning, growing...............................

 

Gunny, you are so right....the past is gone....there is nothing I can do to change it but learn from it and move forward. There is still the fear that this is all that will ever be....a repeat of the same mistakes....that is what I am also trying to learn. I really think that somewhere out there, each of us deserve some happiness.

 

You are right, it's evolving, learning, growing and also coping. That cabin by the lake is sounding more and more like home....simple and less complex.

[trippi1432]

Thanks for relating your story trippi. I'm still working on mine, it is a very different story in many ways, yet similar in other ways.

 

I am in the process of gaining a lot of new insight and perspective from the Jungian school of thought. While I have to say I was and still am skeptical, there is considerable understanding to be had from it.

 

For myself, it is a healing and growing process, of embracing my whole self, not letting myself become possessed or seduced by my anima, nor repressing or seducing it. It is a search for wholeness, balance, center, within myself.

 

For my part in this, I allowed myself to be taken by moods, both good and bad which deny relatedness, clinging to love that was painful or destructive to myself and some other things that I attribute to an unhealthy state, such as a lack of proper and nurturing self-care, self-acceptance and so on.

 

I let myself be pushed down in the marriage relationship, slowly but surely. I let myself be controlled and manipulated, to take on the "good father" role for my spouses. I felt bound up and lost and became resentful and unhappy and more and more out of internal equilibrium.

 

Hi JSG - I will be interested in reading your story once you get it all thought out.....just from the few interactions we have had, I know you have a lot to think about. Take care.

[Gunny376]

Gunny, you are so right....the past is gone....there is nothing I can do to change it but learn from it and move forward. There is still the fear that this is all that will ever be....a repeat of the same mistakes....that is what I am also trying to learn. I really think that somewhere out there, each of us deserve some happiness.

 

You are right, it's evolving, learning, growing and also coping. That cabin by the lake is sounding more and more like home....simple and less complex.

 

I live and work in a university town, and I personally know a lot of people that have college degrees that are working in jobs that they could have gotten without one.

 

I've meet many a school teacher with a degree in education that simply could not handle being a school teachers, and are now are working in much lower paying, less demanding, less stressful jobs.

 

But you know what? They're happier than they were when they were trying to be school teachers.

 

I've a aunt who's closer to my age than not ~ who's an RPN. She couldn't handle the whole working in the ER ~ Hospital thing ~ but she loves working in hospice. (She likes the one on one ~ and being personal and even becoming friends with her patients and their families)

 

I've a friend who went to law school and couldn't handle it! He works in his Dad's tire dealership now. Another? Had another MBA in accounting ~ and hated it. He works on his GF and Dad's farm working cattle, bailing hay and loves it. He's up an hour or two before the sun rises, and often works until late in the night ~ but he loves what he does.

 

I know of a lot of IT and CS majors that HATE their jobs ~ but they're stuck with them. They love IT and computer related things ~ they just hate their jobs!

 

I loved being a Marine, glad and damn proud I did it ~ but after twenty plus years? I'm just as damn glad and proud that its over. Twenty years of anything is enough.

 

It cost me a wife and a family ~ and to be honest ~ I just don't think the XHEX was up for the job of being a Marine's wife?

 

And granted one of the toughest jobs in the Corps? Is being a Marine's wife. We typically work more than forty hours a week, (I never worked less than sixty ~ often seventy or more)

 

Its not that the 'brass' made us work those kind of hours? Its because we had to work them to "CFA" ourselves. (BTW I can very much relate to to the comment your co-worker about which vein would you have me cut?)

 

I caught a lot of flack from traditional types ~ in that the way I ran my shop was "You can come and go as you want and need, just make sure your work is done, is on time, and 100% accurate and on my desk when I need it! Make sure you make company formations, company PT (Physical Training) on Wed and Battalion "runs" on Fridays."

 

Giving my people autonomy? Actually made a more efficient shop and operation. They would come in on their own on weekends and holidays because they needed the following weekday or half-day off to go do this or that.

 

They also knew that if they screwed the deal up? We would go back to doing it 'by the numbers' I once kept them at work for forty-eight hours in preparation for a pre-inspection. After that? They had a real clear pretty picture in their heads.

 

We can do this the easy way, (Gunny's way) or the hard way?

 

That beget trust and loyalty from both ways.

 

I use to go into work, lay my cover (hat) (Marines in uniform do not go out "un-covered" ~ that is to say without wearing some sort of headgear" car keys, get a cup of coffee on my electric coffee warmer, lay down my cigarettes and lighter on my desk?

 

Then I would retrieve my other cover, car keys, cigarettes, lighter from my bottom desk drawer and go to the PX and read the newspaper, and check out the Playboy and Penthouse magazines for a couple of hours.

 

The LT would could looking for me? And my "people" would be looking out for me ~ knowing full well where I was telling the LT or the Captain ~ "Oh! He's around here somewhere? See there's his cover, his cigarettes, lighter, car keys hot coffee on his desk!"

 

They looked out for me? Because I looked out for them!

[Gunny376]

Gunny, you are so right....the past is gone....there is nothing I can do to change it but learn from it and move forward. There is still the fear that this is all that will ever be....a repeat of the same mistakes....that is what I am also trying to learn. I really think that somewhere out there, each of us deserve some happiness.

 

You are right, it's evolving, learning, growing and also coping. That cabin by the lake is sounding more and more like home....simple and less complex.

 

This is where your so wrong ~ in that for me? The past is the past ~ what was? Was!

 

Beruit, Panama, Gernada, The First Gulf War, Rwanda, Bangladesh, Cuba, Haiti, .................................that's all in the past.

 

So is the first and only XHEX ~ Wife.

 

I'll be damned to Hell if I'm going to be sitting at the nursing home talking about my 1st, 2nd, 3rd, 4th, and 5th x-wife!

 

Granted you were motivated to be a good and sole provider to your daughter, and then your son.

 

And the road to Hell leads with the best of intentions.

 

You got side-tracked with your need for companionship ~ and you embraced it with the STBXH.

 

Its time to get busy living your life for you!

 

I'm estranged from my son and daughter mainly because of they're only heard their Mother's side of the story, my never telling them the Hell I went through twenty years in 'tha' Corps, less where I've been, what I've been through, gone through, the sacrifices I've made for them. Not to mention what I went through with being married to her ~ like dragging a dead horse and saddle with you everywhere you go!

 

And I"ve come to peace with that? Because I know I gave it my all and 110%

 

Granted had I known thirty years ago what I would have been a better Father, Husband, Marine, person, individual?

[Gunny376]

"Related to but beyond his characteristic level of emotional responsively, Gunny376 has been confronted with an event or events which he was exposed to a severe threat to his life a traumatic experience that precipitate intense fear or horror on his part. Currently the residuals of this events or events appear to be persistently re-experienced with recurrent and distressing recollections as cues that resemble of symbolize and aspect of the traumatic event(s). Where possible he seeks to avoid such cues and recollections. Where they cannot be anticipated and actively avoided as in dreams or nightmares, be may become terrified, exhibiting a number of of symptoms of intense anxiety. Other signs of distress might include difficulty falling asleep, outburst of anger, panic attacks. hyper vigilance. exaggerated startled response, or a subjective sense of numbing and detachment"

 

The interesting thing about this is? He (my psychologist) have yet to discuss this. This comes from the pyschological test that I took?

 

Were it one on one? It would be really, really extremely hard for me to discuss this with anyone who hadn't been through what I've gone through and seen, and experienced?

 

Simply no "point of comparison"

 

It would be like a woman attempting to describe giving birth to a man?

 

Or someone having a "near-death" experience to someone who's never had one?

 

Once I got on the meds ~ it occured to me?

 

Most people haven't lived the life I've lived ~ and the odd and stange thing about that is?

 

Most people don't enlist into the military ~ of those that do? Most don't enlist into the Marines?

 

Of those that do? Half don't make it past their first year of having signing their enlistment papers?

 

Of those that do? Half don't make it past their first four year enlistment?

 

Of those that do? Half don't make it past thier second enlistment.

 

Of those that do? Half don't make it past their third enslistment?

 

Of those that do? Half don't make it to their twenty? Only six percent of the entire Marine Corps ever make the rank of Gunnery Sergeant.

 

Thing is? To do so?

 

Cost me a wife and a family!

[trippi1432]

Granted you were motivated to be a good and sole provider to your daughter, and then your son.

 

And the road to Hell leads with the best of intentions.

 

You got side-tracked with your need for companionship ~ and you embraced it with the STBXH.

 

Its time to get busy living your life for you!

 

Again, dead on....I have come to realize this in talking with friends, advice on here and with my therapist, I am the only person I can rely on.....anything else is just that...companionship....nothing more than friendship. I have to be happy with me...I cannot rely on anyone else for that happiness as that is unrealistic. I did the best I could with what I had to work with in my relationships...I did the best I could with my job.... provide them with security....now, I just do for me. Maybe that sounds selfish, but compassion can only run so deep before you have to turn to self-compassion for self preservation.

 

And I"ve come to peace with that? Because I know I gave it my all and 110%

 

Granted had I known thirty years ago what I would have been a better Father, Husband, Marine, person, individual?

 

That's just it Gunny, we don't never know....someone else thinks that they have it all mapped out for us. We go through the motions of what we "think" we know, what was instilled in us and we still get no where....you can give it 100%, 110% or 150%....it seems that it is never good enough.

 

You have to come to peace with it at some point, because you cannot go back and change anything....what was, just was...

 

I saw my son tonight....briefly. He gave me hugs over and over...but he looks happy.....that right there is worth anything else that I could ever give him....so don't beat yourself up over your kids Gunny. They will survive and thrive learning lessons in life...what we give them and what they learn themselves.

[tojaz]

Thing is? To do so?

 

Cost me a wife and a family!

 

No Guns!

 

Now I'm not a Marine, but I've been to a few Marine bases. I have never once seen a sign saying leave your family at the door. All you did is live your life, the life of a Marine and from what you've shared, a damn fine one!

 

No doubt being a Marine had its cost, but I doubt it cost you a wife. You didn't leave, you didn't want the D. You were the best husband you knew how to be. Let blame lie where it should. Being a Marine didn't cost you a wife, her actions cost her A Gunnery Sgt. in the USMC! Let her carry that one.

 

TOJAZ

[trippi1432]

No Guns!

 

Now I'm not a Marine, but I've been to a few Marine bases. I have never once seen a sign saying leave your family at the door. All you did is live your life, the life of a Marine and from what you've shared, a damn fine one!

 

No doubt being a Marine had its cost, but I doubt it cost you a wife. You didn't leave, you didn't want the D. You were the best husband you knew how to be. Let blame lie where it should. Being a Marine didn't cost you a wife, her actions cost her A Gunnery Sgt. in the USMC! Let her carry that one.

 

TOJAZ

 

I would have to agree with Tojaz on this one Gunny.....just as my actions cost me my family due to the corporate lifestyle....it's an oxymoron but one you couldn't avoid Gunny....however, one that I as well as other's not in in the Marines could have avoided....is that about the gist of it Tojaz????

[tojaz]

I would have to agree with Tojaz on this one Gunny.....just as my actions cost me my family due to the corporate lifestyle....it's an oxymoron but one you couldn't avoid Gunny....however, one that I as well as other's not in in the Marines could have avoided....is that about the gist of it Tojaz????

 

Sort of Trippi. Its a combination of events, all complicated and interweaved. There is no magic bullet to divorce. Did your corporate lifestyle play a role? Probably, but did your H react appropriately? NO Did his drinking play a role? Yep those and a million other factors.

 

Hows this for a kick in the teeth.... My counselor laid out for me today, that basicly the death of my marriage was due to each of us trying so hard to be the perfect spouse!!!!!!!!!!!! Its nuts but it also makes a lot of sense.

 

In the end its how we chose to deal with the things we are unhappy with that make or break us and our relationships. Unhappiness and chaos are a given, a normal part of life and we all have our own, but how we deal witht that determines who we are.

 

TOJAZ

[trippi1432]

Sort of Trippi. Its a combination of events, all complicated and interweaved. There is no magic bullet to divorce. Did your corporate lifestyle play a role? Probably, but did your H react appropriately? NO Did his drinking play a role? Yep those and a million other factors.

 

Hows this for a kick in the teeth.... My counselor laid out for me today, that basicly the death of my marriage was due to each of us trying so hard to be the perfect spouse!!!!!!!!!!!! Its nuts but it also makes a lot of sense.

 

In the end its how we chose to deal with the things we are unhappy with that make or break us and our relationships. Unhappiness and chaos are a given, a normal part of life and we all have our own, but how we deal witht that determines who we are.

 

TOJAZ

 

To my "backwards" mind....that makes perfect sense...there is no perfect man, no perfect woman and no perfect marriage....when you strive for perfection....something gets neglected just as a dysfunctional marriage, something gets neglected. This was a subject that covered many weeks ago in counseling sessions myself.

 

I agree, how we choose to deal with it is a reflection of who we are....my ex's drinking came 5 years before the corporate lifestyle and 10 years before me....I'm just glad I had a place to hide some days....others, I just wish things could have been different because somewhere I would like to think that I am a compassionate enough person to deserve that. This is why I am happy for him and that he has changed his life and turned it around. I am hopeful that one day, I can do the same.

Edited June 12, 2010 by trippi1432

[trippi1432]

This song pretty much sums how I feel right now.....

 

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=diRt-24OaEE

[Gunny376]

There are a couple of "sayings" that are pretty much written in stone in the Marines..............

 

One is "If the Marine Corps wanted you to have a wife? They would have issued you one a supply!"

 

Another is, "The toughest job in the Marines is being a Marines Wife"

 

And then not a saying ~ its a phenomenon that is peculiar to the military throughout I'm sure, but to the Marine Corps (because of the way its set up and structured)

 

We call it "The Gunny/Major Syndrome" (A Marine major is the commissioned officer equivalent to an enlisted Gunnery Sergeant), in that by the time a Marine has reached the rank of Gunnery Sergeant or Major (more or less ten to eleven years) ~ they soon shortly there after find themselves getting divorced.

 

That could be in part because a combination of Dept of Defense regulations, state divorce laws ~ once a spouse has been married a minimum of ten years to an active duty member? They're entitled to half of their military retirement, medical and dental insurance (which they themselves have to pay the premiums on), commissary (on-base grocery store where name foods and products sell for 30% less than out in town), PX privileges, MWR privileges (Swimming pools, free gym access, discounted military vacations packages etc)

 

Now as to how the structure of the Marines are set up, (aside from the two current wars) even during peace time, Marines are sent out on six month floats to the Caribbean.

 

The most significant difference between the Marines and the Army is that in the Army if your a helicopter mechanic ~ that's all your really trained to do and expected to do. Ditto with being a pay clerk, admin clerk, cook, baker candle stick maker.

 

In the Marines? Every Marine is trained to be a "basic" infantryman (to include WM's (Women Marines) That is to say if necessary? An admin clerk, supply clerk, cook whatever? Can be pulled from their primary job and put into an infrantry unit, and often are if the situation warrants it.

 

That means each year each and every Marine regardless of their "job" (aka in the military as MOS ~ Military Occupational Speciality) has to go to rifle range, pistol range, participate in close combat training, (Every Marine is expected to have earned their black belt by the end of their initial four year enlistment) first aid, etc.

 

The demands are such that the Marine Corps several years ago wanted to issue a regulation that a Marine could not marry until they had achieved the rank of Corporal (E-4 while your "average Marine after a four year enlistment gets out as an Lance Corporal ~ E-3)

 

The "femi-nazis" in Congress threw a fit and said no way in Hell, and the Marines had to back down from it.

 

Up until the "All Volunteer Force" concept came about in the mid 1970's, you had to have your battalion commanders "permission to get married. Initially this was for any Marine marrying anyone, then it dwindled down to marrying foreign nationals.

[Gunny376]

No Guns!

 

Now I'm not a Marine, but I've been to a few Marine bases. I have never once seen a sign saying leave your family at the door. All you did is live your life, the life of a Marine and from what you've shared, a damn fine one!

 

No doubt being a Marine had its cost, but I doubt it cost you a wife. You didn't leave, you didn't want the D. You were the best husband you knew how to be. Let blame lie where it should. Being a Marine didn't cost you a wife, her actions cost her A Gunnery Sgt. in the USMC! Let her carry that one.

 

I never worked less than a sixty hours a week, and while stationed at Marine Corps Recruit Depot, Parris Island, South Carolina (nine out twenty) I generally worked 70+ hours on the Drill Field for four out of those nine.

 

Even without being on the Drill Field, its very demanding and stressful in that your expected to be the epitome of what a Marine is in action, word and deed ~ aka ~ "Leadership by example, regardless of what your actual job was?

 

At the Marine Recruit Depots at Parris Island and San Diego, they have "Depot Spies" that rove around looking for violations of depot, recruit training SOP (Standard Operating Procedure), uniform violations, etc.

 

In effect? Your a Marine that has already been through and graduated from Marine boot camp? Sent back to one of the depots as "permanent party" ~ and the net effect is that your back in boot camp more or less for the duration of your tour there.

[Gunny376]

Now that I'm back out here in civilan la~la land? I have come to understand that my XHEX simply didn't have what it took to be the wife of a Marine. Not mentally, emotionally, pyschologically ~ she simply just could not handle it.

 

She was of the mentality that her definition of "normal" was working a 40 hour, five day a week, weekends and holidays off.

 

I have over the course of my work-life? Worked most of the five or six major holidays, weekends.

 

In fact that's probally the major reason I've the job I have? I've worked every major holiday and weekend for going on the last six years on second shift.

 

My boss knows from over thirty years at his job that its damned hard to find good quality people that's willing to work like that.

[trippi1432]

Now that I'm back out here in civilan la~la land? I have come to understand that my XHEX simply didn't have what it took to be the wife of a Marine. Not mentally, emotionally, pyschologically ~ she simply just could not handle it.

 

She was of the mentality that her definition of "normal" was working a 40 hour, five day a week, weekends and holidays off.

 

I have over the course of my work-life? Worked most of the five or six major holidays, weekends.

 

In fact that's probally the major reason I've the job I have? I've worked every major holiday and weekend for going on the last six years on second shift.

 

My boss knows from over thirty years at his job that its damned hard to find good quality people that's willing to work like that.

 

This is true, but not for me anymore......I may have lost the family, but I've learned my lesson.....

 

 

1. I will put my son and myself first before the job
   
2. I will work my 7.5, 37.5 hrs a week and no more from now on.
   
3. If someone wants me to do their work for them...no more, they can do their own work or learn how to do it
   
4. I will no longer do or "fix it" so other people look good to their boss.
   
5. I will take my allotted lunch break everyday instead of working through it
   
6. I will only work on one thing at a time, if boss has a priority, I will request which order he wants that done in (Boundaries book)
   
7. If someone wants something done at the last minute because they didn't plan appropriately....too f'ing bad....bad planning on their part does not constitute an emergency on my part
   
8. Lastly, if peers don't come through with their part on a project we are working on, I'm not covering for them anymore.
   
9. Will work multiple projects but will not "allow" for these projects to all collide at one time on the time-line
   
10. I will take the job description they have given me, I WILL require that they give me proper resources to assign tasks to (believe me, this new job description encompasses the equivalent of approximately 8 positions that were done away with in our company)....love this do more with less philosophy....(grrrrr)
    

So, in essence, I'm going to work like every other employee there.....for myself...not for others. I'm just riding the horse until it's dead....we have lay-offs every two years....and the two years will be here in July. Just need to make sure that I don't get stressed out and have a relapse.

 

Working towards getting better and coming up with an action plan to return to work....this will be a list of requirements I will be taking to my HR and boss on my re-entry to my job (if I still have the job..lol).

[trippi1432]

I entitled this post appropriately as I have just (yet again) been the victim of a well-meaning friend. This friend has been trying to get me to sell my home and become her exact duplicate by living in a condo with no yard in the middle of the city. She has also been trying to get me to go to her church as well as be a dopple-ganger of her conceit of what "types" of people make good friends (meaning she is the only friend I am supposed to trust). Now, I will admit, she means well....she has already been through a lot of the same things I am going through as well and is much older than me; however, this is MY LIFE to choose how to live it....not for someone else to choose.

 

Now, I also say this in my post.....I too have been one of those who has tried to be a well-meaning friend and tried to advise someone on how to get along in their life. (Wasn't going as far as trying to make them a dopple-ganger however.) For that, I was wrong...because I am sure they were just as frustrated at me as I was at my friend above.

 

I think that we all mean well whether it be online or offline in trying to help people; however, when they set a boundary of that might work for you, but it doesn't work for me....well, that needs to be respected.

 

Sorry, just needed to self-medicate and get that off my chest as this friend is getting close to being moved to the "back of the bus" for red flag week.

[trippi1432]

Just wanted to say, this was no one on LS...in reference to my above post. I just don't see my "life" as being over yet....my "love life" yes, but my general well-being....I just don't agree with my friend and think that it is time to shrivel up and die just yet.

[tojaz]

Your love life's not over Trippi just starting from scratch to make a better one.

 

TOJAZ

[trippi1432]

Your love life's not over Trippi just starting from scratch to make a better one.

 

TOJAZ

 

I was just sitting here looking at this post and laughing to myself....my step-mother has got to be the most bi-polar person I have ever known in my life and my dad loves her to death. Despite her illness, she is very caring and compassionate and loves my dad to death. So....bi-polar meets very patient man with Dyslexia and ADD....for them it works and it's not a lethal combination as far as I can see!! :o:o:lmao::lmao:

 

I really need to quit thinking so much.....sigh. :(

[trippi1432]

Well, things seem to be looking up...had a good counseling session today. (I would actually say thanks to my UK friend Neet for our little talk yesterday).

 

I've been painting my house....just trying to stay busy really while I get the okay to go back to work and I made the statement that my STBXH would be having a fit because I haven't finished painting the bathroom yet. I recall a year ago this month, he had a fit while I painted one of the bedrooms preparing for my daughter's visit for my surgery.

 

Guess what I learned........HE DOESN'T LIVE HERE ANYMORE!!! THIS IS MY HOUSE AND IT WILL GET DONE WHEN IT GETS DONE!!!! :bunny::bunny:

 

There is no one nagging me, yelling at me or threatening me to get it finished while they do nothing to lift a finger....it's up to me to do it, it will get done when I determine it gets done. My therapist was giving me high-fives!!!

[skywriter]

Wow, trippi, I have to say I am impressed that you are painting your house period.

 

I wish I had the incentive to do my own. All I do is repeat, "Someday, I'm gonna"....

[trippi1432]

Thanks Skywriter....didn't say I was in a rush though..LOL! Just something to do so I don't go crazy...read, paint, read, paint.....bored.

 

I do have a small goal though....I'm hoping to have the entire interior of the house painted by D day.....my way.

[trippi1432]

Officially going back to work (part-time) July 1. Already setting up a celebratory luncheon with my girlfriends at work. Thank goodness for FB so I could keep up with them. Was actually surprised at the support I got from some of the women there who missed me.

 

It feels good to know that people still see you as a strong woman and you hear it from your friends to take care of you even when you think you failed. I don't think that I could ask for a better friend network than that.