Over thinking things...need insight...long.

[EmeraldHeart]

The current man I am seeing isn't the most talkative of men I am gathering. We went from speaking 5 days a week the first week we started talking to these last 2 weeks, only talking maybe a total of 3-4 times. We do talk at work on the phone, but only for brief periods of time and not on a daily basis and it is mainly work talk of course. I do know he has other women interested in him and that he did go out with someone else about the same time we had our first date in April. I am just trying to figure out if he is interested in a serious relationship or just casual. We have not had sex and won't until STD testing. He said that he has never been asked to be STD tested and never has and I let him know that not getting tested is a deal breaker for me. He has let me set the pace for our physical relationship including the first kiss. He was very happy when I initiated kissing and he has taken his cues from me, but I do let him lead. We have a very good physical relationship and it is quite intense. There isn't intercourse or oral (well one time he performed on me) but he has stated that he is fine with that and understands where I am coming from. He knows how much I want to have sex with him. He has told me his is not just interested in sex.

 

About 2 weeks ago I asked if he was seeing anyone else. After he let me know he wasn't fooling around and he hasn't seen anyone else since April. I told him that if he was interested in seeing other people I am fine with that, but I will bow out if that is the case. I let him know that I don't date men that are dating anyone else at the same time and he said that he is only seeing me and is only interested in seeing me and that he like where this is going. He let me know he isn't fooling around either but that women have been contacting him and one in particular. This irked me...he said one woman in particular is calling a bit and that he told her that he has other stuff going on, he is busy, and that doesn't sit around waiting on her...contradiction right there. Like I said, this was said to me about 2 weeks ago. He reiterated that he only is interested in seeing me.

 

Here is the meat of things...the past 2 weeks things have slowed down. He doesn't call or text as much. He told me last week that the reason he didn't call during the week is because all of the overtime at work. I do know that to be true because we work at the same company. He said, that I thought that you may be thinking I don't like you anymore and that isn't the case. I am an insomniac and I set things up that he can call me late...around midnight and now that is what he seems to be doing IF he calls during the week. I don't want to waste my time is all. I am looking for a serious relationship and not a casual one. I do think he realizes that based on the sex and no dating other people deal breakers. I just wonder if he is hanging around to see what the sex might be like. I sometimes feel like if I didn't ask him to give me a call, which I have done on several occasions, he wouldn't bother until he wanted to see me on the weekend. Am I reading way too much negative into things?

 

He used to ask me all the time to come to Sunday dinner at his mom's and I declined the first few times he asked because it was too soon for me and I felt a lot of pressure. Two weeks ago I told him I am ready to go to Sunday dinner whenever he would like me to and he hasn't mentioned it since.

 

We also go dutch on dates. I set it up that way. I feel uncomfortable when a man pays for everything.

 

On a side note...we did speak 2 this week for a total of 3 hours which is not common for him. One reason for that is he has to stay in this weekend because of his injured dog. He mentioned about the next time we go out to eat and he mentioned other places he would like to take me. He just seems a bit hot and cold to me and then my mind just starts racing thinking he is just hanging around for sex.

 

I guess I just assume that in the beginning stages of things, you make time to call and you go a bit out of your way for someone you are interested in.

Edited June 5, 2010 by EmeraldHeart