What is with women and height?

[USMCHokie]

Does this mean I'm cursed for life? Not really. But some people do have struggles with their height in the dating world. Not everyone at my height does, but I do, unfortunately.

 

 

But this "struggle" is completely a mental issue. If you are having difficulties with dating and choose to cite your height as the cause of those difficulties, then so be it. But you've chosen to blame something you have absolutely no control over. Of course this is going to be demoralizing and make some people feel like they are "cursed for life."

 

You have to realize that you have as much to blame, if not more, as women in this whole height-and-dating nonsense. It's only an issue for women because you make it an issue for them...you perceive and presume that height is an issue, so you basically shoot yourself in the foot before you even start the race. Never once in my life has the idea of my own height cross my mind in dating...and never once in my life has a woman made height an issue towards me. If you keep letting it plague your thoughts, you'll never escape the vicious cycle.

 

 

I'm barely 5'8" myself.

[Cracker Jack]

But this "struggle" is completely a mental issue. If you are having difficulties with dating and choose to cite your height as the cause of those difficulties, then so be it. But you've chosen to blame something you have absolutely no control over. Of course this is going to be demoralizing and make some people feel like they are "cursed for life."

 

Dude, I'm telling you that's not what I "choose" to do at all. I already mentioned this. When you're told dozens of times "Sorry. You're very handsome, but not tall enough", it sticks with you, man; it really does, and that's not an excuse. You make it seem like I'm trying to use it to justify my lack of success, and I'm simply trying to tell you that this is what I experienced firsthand. I'm not looking to use it as a fallback excuse.

 

You have to realize that you have as much to blame, if not more, as women in this whole height-and-dating nonsense. It's only an issue for women because you make it an issue for them...you perceive and presume that height is an issue, so you basically shoot yourself in the foot before you even start the race.

 

Well, I sorta agree with the end, but not the beginning, because I never even bring the height up--they do. Honestly, the lack of interest I've faced due to my height left me shell-shocked to even try, though that must change. Granted, most of this was done a few yrs back, so things can be different. I don't want to make an issue of my height, either. I personally like my height; I don't stand over a wishing well yelling that "I wish I was way taller" or anything like that.

 

Never once in my life has the idea of my own height cross my mind in dating...and never once in my life has a woman made height an issue towards me. If you keep letting it plague your thoughts, you'll never escape the vicious cycle.

 

But...again, those are your experiences, which happen to be different from my own. Perhaps the women you've came across are (Well, they are) vastly different from the ones I came across.

 

Again, I don't want you to get the wrong message and believe I'm using this as a reason to not try. Like I said: I'm fine with my height and how it fits with me--but the problem is a lot of women...are not. And it's not like I'm chasing tall supermodels or anything, anyway.

 

 

I'm barely 5'8" myself.

 

You probably look much better, though.

[somedude81]

It's only an issue for women because you make it an issue for them...you perceive and presume that height is an issue, so you basically shoot yourself in the foot before you even start the race. Never once in my life has the idea of my own height cross my mind in dating...and never once in my life has a woman made height an issue towards me. If you keep letting it plague your thoughts, you'll never escape the vicious cycle.

 

I'm barely 5'8" myself.

Sorry but that's a load of crock. I've been trying to get girls since I was 13. I wasn't even aware that women cared about height until I was in my early 20's. It wasn't an issue to me, but I'm sure it was a reason why women weren't attracted to me.

 

Also, at 5'8 you are taller than 90% of women and a few inches taller than most. So you are out of the danger zone. I'm 5'6 and don't have that luxury.

 

Just because women have not told me that they don't want to date me because I'm short, doesn't mean that they weren't thinking it. I have never called a girl fat but I have definitely ruled them out because of it.

 

All I can do is try to look the best I absolutely can and hope that girls will let my height slide. Trying to improve my confidence is also a must.

[USMCHokie]

I'm not looking to use it as a fallback excuse.

 

 

My apologies, I didn't mean to direct my post at you in particular, and I shouldn't have used the second person...the post was meant for those guys in general who have all but given up and feel that they are completely hopeless in the dating world because of their height...

 

And you're right, we all have different experiences.

[USMCHokie]

Sorry but that's a load of crock. I've been trying to get girls since I was 13. I wasn't even aware that women cared about height until I was in my early 20's. It wasn't an issue to me, but I'm sure it was a reason why women weren't attracted to me.

 

 

Then there's nothing that can help you since you already have your mind made up.

[Cracker Jack]

It's all good, man. I understand your reasoning for posting what you did. That's one of the main reasons why I'm not going to give up based on what I've experienced thus far, since every woman can't possibly dislike the idea of being with me because of my height.

 

It has stuck with me longer than it should've, but I have to get over it.

[USMCHokie]

It's all good, man. I understand your reasoning for posting what you did. That's one of the main reasons why I'm not going to give up based on what I've experienced thus far, since every woman can't possibly dislike the idea of being with me because of my height.

 

Exactly. And to those who do, screw em.

 

 

It has stuck with me longer than it should've, but I have to get over it.

 

Yep. I will have to admit that for me personally, race was my "height issue" that I had to get over. It stuck with me way longer than it should have. I still fight with it to this day, so I understand exactly where you're coming from...and like you said, you just have to get over it...

[Yamaha]

If a women is 5'5 she will still believe her height to be 5'8 or 5'9 because of heels. She will require a man to be taller than her WITH heels. That is the reality. The thing about women 5' to 5'2 also wanting a tall guy is just a perference and because it makes her feel taller to be with a tall guy.

 

There is much more important things to base a persons worth on than height but if that is their choice let them at it. I'll be happy to be with people that are seriously looking for a real human beings and not just fluff.

[kungfudude]

HI Everyone! Thanks so much for your comments. Here is what I take from them.

 

Yes, I am OK with being 5'8" and have dated women from 5'0" to 5'10". I just did not understand why so many women on Match have mans height requirement. A few of you commented about the issue of height with women or the issue of overweight with men.

 

This made me think this through a little more and what you are implying is correct.

 

If a man insists upon dating women who are small (not fat) or women insist upon dating only men of a certain height (not short), the issue is not with the person being fat or tall. Nor do I don't think it matters if the basis of height is about protection if the basis with weight is energy. The issue is with the person making the requirement. It shows they are lacking confidence or at a minimum they are unsure of themselves.

 

So the conclusion I take from this is if a woman has a minimum height requirement, they are the ones missing out!

 

Thanks again for all your comments!

[Green]

I'm a very tall guy and for a very long time I did horible with women. There is always something you can blame it on, for me I blamed it on the fact that I liked comics/video games/ sci fi ect.

 

Its all about confidence. BEING TALL HELPS.... but if you arn't tall it can be overcome if you TRY.

 

Fixed. And even then, it's not as important to women as many make men perceive to be. A lot of men blame their lack of success on height because they are reluctant to see or identify their other shortcomings (pun totally intended ) that may be hurting their chances. It's easy to blame height because everyone does it. Ever stop to think that it's something else that women don't like about you?

 

Life isn't fair. People need to stop blaming everything on something and just TRY with what they have.

 

I don't get USMC's reasoning, so if a woman won't date you even after openly admitting it's because of your height, it's all in your head and a confidence issue?! This sounds like the arrogant and mean advice a lot of women give to men, not only do they not want to date guys who are not very tall, or not very well-off or whatever, but they also want to blame us for them being so shallow.

 

It's a double standard. If a black person goes to a job interview and the interviewer says "well , you are very intelligent, talented, and would make a great asset for my company, but we don't hire blacks here", is racism all in his head ? Will you advise him to get "confidence" and this will magically go away?

 

Now I'm not saying women should have to give a fair shot to attractive, desirable, intelligent men who are just a couple of inches below average height if it's that horrible and painful for them to do so, but we men also have a right to be mad about it and show women as the fools they are for their choice.

 

And no it's not like men with weight either, for a thousand different reasons. First of all women are just as repulsed by fat guys (in addition to men who aren't tall, red haired men, asian men, etc) as much as men are repulsed by fat women. Second if you are experiencing a lot of rejection for being fat you can lose the weight if you want to bad enough. Third, unlike being 5'7, being overweight is not natural, really just a product of changing western lifestyle.

 

You just have a bad attitude is all. Do you feel sorry for yourself.

 

Like the example you put up above just because a black person might encounter racism they shouldn't use it as an excuse to give up. LIFE ISN'T FAIR so just realize that and get over it and don't let EXCUSES hold you back from TRYING and being POSOIVE about life.

[kungfudude]

HI Green,

 

Well stated!

[Feelin Frisky]

Because it's so prevalent and not necessarily rationale by terms we can express, there is probably an undercurrent of evolution somewhere in the mix. No one thinks: big man, big and strong healthy offspring. But it could be there behind the appearance of mere attraction. It may also be an evolutionary thing that tall men don't favor women that are exceptionally tall--somewhere underneath is the drive to have progeny that isn't going to dwarf you. Just thinking'

[Mme. Chaucer]

If a women is 5'5 she will still believe her height to be 5'8 or 5'9 because of heels. She will require a man to be taller than her WITH heels. That is the reality. The thing about women 5' to 5'2 also wanting a tall guy is just a perference and because it makes her feel taller to be with a tall guy.

 

 

That is not the case with ANY women I know ... we all know how tall we are without heels, and we aren't into tall guys because they make us feel taller.

 

Personally, I have always ONLY been attracted to tall guys. I didn't choose it consciously, that's just the way it was.

 

Anyway, now I am with a short fellow. Well he's 5'8" or 9' but by a long shot the shortest ever for me. I am not tall myself (5'5"). I love him and am very attracted to him; I never sit around thinking "if only he was tall." I'm bemused about the height - but whatever. He also has overlooked my few extra pounds and my own height (typically HE did want to "feel taller" by being with a diminutive woman) and I know he thinks I'm a goddess.

 

So, my point is ... there's hope!

[brainygirl]

You just have a bad attitude is all. Do you feel sorry for yourself.

 

 

 

Obviously nobody should ever give up. But, society seems to think it's ok for people to get angry about racism and other isms, but when it comes to women utterly detesting guys who are a little under 5'9 (maybe 5'10) for no real , rational reason, we're told it's all in our heads or worse, it's our own fault that women hate us.

 

can I tell you a secret?

1) most dating sites have those height parameters preset and you have to go in and click "I don't care" manually.

2) I'm five two, anyone taller than me is "tall" any one not taller than me is "not tall".

[AD1980]

Theyres allot more women on this planet the Men and Tall Men are called tall for a reason, they are not the norm so even if all women dream of tall guys and height is like precious gold to them tons will have to settle for us shorter guys or be alone

[sweetjasmine]

So, I simply need to vent. I am new to online dating and using Match for the first time. What is with women and height?

 

Let me set the stage, I am 5'8" and stay in very good physically condition. However, not being 6'0" or taller seems to strike me with a lot of women.

 

I understand we all have preferences and I have them as well. But what is with a women 5'0" to 5'2" and insisting upon a man who is 6'0" or taller. From being on match for a month or so, it is pretty consistent.

 

So, to all the women out there, whats up with that?L

 

I don't get it either. My SO is 5'9". The guys I dated before him happened to be taller, just by chance, but I've found myself attracted to "short" men, too. And I actually prefer his height. It's much more comfortable.

 

Ugh. This is the kind of advice men get all the time--"be confident." What the heck does that mean, exactly?

 

I think "confidence" is a misleading word.

 

What I take it to mean is that a person is his own person. That he knows who he is and is comfortable and happy with it. That he has his own life, opinions, feelings, desires, and aspirations. That he has a purpose in life. That he's a complete person and doesn't need someone to fill a void in his life. That he's happy with his life and content to do his own thing and isn't sitting at home moping and pining because he can't find a partner. That he's looking for a partner to share his life with and not just some person to become the center of his universe.

[kungfudude]

That is not the case with ANY women I know ... we all know how tall we are without heels, and we aren't into tall guys because they make us feel taller.

 

Personally, I have always ONLY been attracted to tall guys. I didn't choose it consciously, that's just the way it was.

 

Anyway, now I am with a short fellow. Well he's 5'8" or 9' but by a long shot the shortest ever for me. I am not tall myself (5'5"). I love him and am very attracted to him; I never sit around thinking "if only he was tall." I'm bemused about the height - but whatever. He also has overlooked my few extra pounds and my own height (typically HE did want to "feel taller" by being with a diminutive woman) and I know he thinks I'm a goddess.

 

So, my point is ... there's hope!

Hello Mme, Chaucer,

 

Well said! Your comment completely exemplifies the importance of looking deeper than the cover of the book.

[AD1980]

Yes I've had some luck sleeping with women who made me their 3rd or 4th choice after all the tall guys were taken or rejected. I don't think any woman will ever see me as their one and only however, they generally pack up their bags as soon as a tall guy comes into the picture, which is exactly why I dont get emotionally attached to women, I've been a lot happier ever since I've seen my interactions with women as just sexual or fun.

 

Im negative with getting women and dont have much self esteem but i even think your a little extreme with saying theyll just leave for a tall guy who comes along

 

And as far as not being their first choice well everyone has to deal with that,women for the most part dont approach Men so their might be hundreds of women a guy might get rejected by then he finds one who says yes should that women feel like shes his 100th choice?

 

THe bottom line is aside from the extremely attractive people most people arent with their fantasy Man or women physically

[Citizen Erased]

I think some of you should try being 5'1" and see how it feels to actually be short.

[Green]

And as far as not being their first choice well everyone has to deal with that,women for the most part dont approach Men so their might be hundreds of women a guy might get rejected by then he finds one who says yes should that women feel like shes his 100th choice?

 

This is a good point. A woman who accepts a guy who was rejected by 100 women before that shouldn't feel at all ashamed or sad like "why wasn't I the only girl you asked out"

 

its definetly wise to make them feel special by telling them something like "I knew you were the one" or some romantic thing, but it would be silly if you were to pertend that you had never flirted or asked out a girl before.

 

THe bottom line is aside from the extremely attractive people most people arent with their fantasy Man or women physically

 

I would say even if you are really attractive real life is different then a fantasy.

 

If you are a Man who is tall/healthy famouse and rich you will have a pick of women and the girl you chose isn't necesarily going to be a fantasy model girl. Real life isn't about being picky its about being happy.

[fit]

Even though I am tall, I really think it comes down to the whole package.

would you girls rather have a 6 ft guy who was chubby and bald vs a short guy(5'5'') who was fit and had all his hair ? Given everything else was equal... I think they would choose the short guy...I think ?

[Krytie TV]

Wow, we needed another height thread? Has it been 2 days already?

[Els]

Ah, height and weight. The two magical factors.

[LexiB]

I log on to LS about once or twice a month and every time, without fail there's a fresh thread about this topic. Sheesh, I had no idea this was such a hot button topic for guys.

[threebyfate]

What is with women and height?

What is it with men and breast size?

 

I understand we all have preferences and I have them as well. But what is with a women 5'0" to 5'2" and insisting upon a man who is 6'0" or taller. From being on match for a month or so, it is pretty consistent.

 

So, to all the women out there, whats up with that?L

I understand we all have preferences and I have them as well. But what is with a man who insists on women with big breasts? I mean most men don't even bring breasts to the table so why are breasts part of their criteria and worse yet, big breasts?

 

So, to all the men out there, whats up with that?