Body Insecurities and Competitiveness at the Beach

[USMCHokie]

I was at the beach yesterday with my brother and cousin and went on a long walk down the beach and the Boardwalk. It was really crowded out so there was lots of people watching to be done and observations to be made, primarily regarding the guys.

 

 

(1) Guys are hella competitive...

 

A lot of guys will change their posture, stance, and demeanor when they walk by certain other guys in decent shape...they may try flexing their entire body, getting all huffy and puffy, or sucking in their gut...while others will actually *fix* their posture and walk correctly and confidently (i.e., head up, chest out, shoulders back, etc.)...

 

And it's a phenomenon that occurs only when passing other men...they don't do this when passing by women!!!

 

 

(2) Eyes play tricks on us...

 

People's bodies look significantly better from a distance than they do from closer in...and I will admit that I check out other guys' physiques (any guy who says he doesn't is lying to you... )...so from the distance, I see a guy who I think looks like he's in pretty good shape, but as I get closer, I realize although he's got relatively low body fat, he's a tiny little thing with very little muscle mass...almost more frail than fit...

 

 

(3) I get insecure because of point #2 above...

 

I had a discussion with my brother about the whole illusion thing...when I see it all the time with other guys, I get insecure that it's the same way with me...but I suppose I just use that as motivation to work harder...

 

 

I don't know how it is with women...but I'm sure you're just as competitive as the guys...do you find that you're checking out other women...?

[Jilly Bean]

Are you "Cuppa" in disguise? Because your post is just like hers was. Commenting on how you both spent your day at the water checking out the same sex, and then critiquing everyone's body and mentioning how horrible everyone looked.

 

Is everyone so insecure and/or closeted, that they can't go to a pool or beach and just enjoy the sun and the water? I'd like to think this phenomenon is confined to the two of you, as it seems to be a terrible waste of a pretty day to engage in comparing yourself to the same sex the whole time.

 

I dunno. Call me strange. We go to the beach and enjoy the ocean, tanning, snacks and drinks, perhaps a good book, and the company of our friends/family. We're not spending our time checking out the same sex and ripping them apart. Seems sooo senseless...

[USMCHokie]

Oooh, that's right...I forgot about her thread...oh well, so be it. I guess our threads are very limited in their audience.

[Green]

Dude arn't you single. Shouldn't you be checking out the ladies at the beach.

 

When I was single I love hitting on girls at the beach. Its great you can really spot the ones who look good in almost no clothing.

 

Stop being insecure. Just STOP. Like if you find yourelf comparing your body and being critical STOP and think I LIKE MY BODY

[Feelin Frisky]

Stay out of the ghey bay. That much male to male posturing sounds like Bay One at the beach in NY I worked at during high school in NY. Thankfully, they stationed me in Bay 14--the cool bay where people were my age or up to perhaps 5 years older.

 

When not working the beach, I never "hooked up" with anyone at the beach but I found the beach was excellent to bring a date who you haven't gotten physical with yet. Touching and holding in the water breaks a lot of ice. Keep yourself in shape and eyes off the poser dudes. They are insecure, hung up and mostly there with other guys for a reason.

[Yamaha]

People who obsess with their bodies are missing out on life. Everytime I see someone, male or female, who it is obvious they spend many hours a week in the gym, it tells me so much about that person ( without even getting to know them ). Some people call it dedication and a goal oriented person but others see it as a person who has no time for others b/c they are so focused on themselves.

[USMCHokie]

Dude arn't you single. Shouldn't you be checking out the ladies at the beach.

 

When I was single I love hitting on girls at the beach. Its great you can really spot the ones who look good in almost no clothing.

 

Stop being insecure. Just STOP. Like if you find yourelf comparing your body and being critical STOP and think I LIKE MY BODY

 

 

Hahahah, don't worry, I'm checking out the women too, and it's pretty cool when you spot them scanning you...

 

And it's not that I compare myself to other guys...but rather compare myself to myself...feeling that I should be better than what I perceive myself to be in my own mind...

 

And my strange, albeit effective, method yesterday was to get an airbrushed pink Hello Kitty temporary tattoo on my chest. It's hilarious to see women stare at it as I pass by and then start laughing. A few actually stopped me and commented on it...it's a great conversation starter.

[USMCHokie]

Stay out of the ghey bay. That much male to male posturing sounds like Bay One at the beach in NY I worked at during high school in NY. Thankfully, they stationed me in Bay 14--the cool bay where people were my age or up to perhaps 5 years older.

 

When not working the beach, I never "hooked up" with anyone at the beach but I found the beach was excellent to bring a date who you haven't gotten physical with yet. Touching and holding in the water breaks a lot of ice. Keep yourself in shape and eyes off the poser dudes. They are insecure, hung up and mostly there with other guys for a reason.

 

 

And checking out guys isn't my primary focus at the beach and not my focus of this thread...don't get me wrong. This is just something I noticed while I was there. I think I may have approached my first post in the thread wrong...

 

And as someone who is into fitness, I can appreciate others with a genuine interest in fitness, whether a guy or girl. No homo.

[thepulse27]

And as someone who is into fitness, I can appreciate others with a genuine interest in fitness, whether a guy or girl. No homo.

 

I'm with you on this one, I spend most of my life looking at women, but as someone who does a lot of exercise, I notice everyone's body, regardless of gender.

 

And you make 2 very good points - I've seen guys do this, and caught myself doing it on occasion (my posture is usually good, but it gets a quick check and modification if I notice someone in good shape, but thats when I see men OR women). And yes, people always look better from a distance.

 

 

To everyone else; I don't think noticing this kind of thing shows any glaring insecurity or inferiority. I also spend time playing the piano, so I instanly notice anyone else playing, and how good they are. We are all like this about our hobbies.

 

Spending time dedicated to getting in shape is not missing out on anything. Fixating on it is a problem, but thats not what were talking about here, and USMC certainly doesn't have a narrow minded life in that way. Getting in shape is beneficial in every way, it improves self esteem, it releases drugs that give one of the most amazing natural highs you can experience, and it actually helps give you focus to improve all the other aspects of yourself.

 

You can spend an amazing day at the beach (or anywhere else for that matter) enjoying the surroundings and the company of friends, and still be aware of this. It's not that we're ripping anybody apart, but when you get used to knowing how your body works you can't help but notice it in others. And there will always be a hint of competetiveness in these observations, but as long you don't get sucked in by that then it's just another perfectly normal and harmless aspect of human behaviour.

[threebyfate]

*stays away from beaches Hokie frequents until six months after birth*

[USMCHokie]

*stays away from beaches Hokie frequents until six months after birth*

 

 

Awww, TBF, don't be silly...

 

Don't get me wrong, I never have and will never look down on anyone because of their physique...yes, I offer my opinion and any constructive criticism about how they could improve themselves, but I never think any less of someone because of their physical appearance. I also usually never comment or "criticize" female physiques, and keep that criticism completely separate from what I find attractive.

 

Yea, it might sound like I'm this vain and conceited douche that looks down on anyone who isn't an Adonis...trust me, I'm not...

[TheLoneSock]

Don't sweat it Hokie. They got nothing on you. It is funny though, the phenomenon. It's even worse at the gym; you can only laugh at the base instincts of man - and realize that every single one of us is victim to it to varying degrees.

[USMCHokie]

You can spend an amazing day at the beach (or anywhere else for that matter) enjoying the surroundings and the company of friends, and still be aware of this. It's not that we're ripping anybody apart, but when you get used to knowing how your body works you can't help but notice it in others. And there will always be a hint of competetiveness in these observations, but as long you don't get sucked in by that then it's just another perfectly normal and harmless aspect of human behaviour.

 

 

Thanks for the post, pulse. And this is very true...it's not like me (or even cuppa in her thread) sat there and glared at every single person that passed by...it's just something we notice here and there, and when the beach is crowded, you tend to see a lot...hell, I walked 70+ blocks down the beach yesterday...so I saw a lot...

 

But my intentions are never to rip anyone apart. If anything, it would be more to offer advice, criticism, and ways to improve. I'm all about getting in shape, but also getting others in shape...

[Lecturer]

Wow, interesting. I've become a lot more fitness oriented in the last year, and I now 'notice' fit men, whereas b4 if something wasn't female, I wasn't even aware of it's existence lol. For me its now more of an appreciation thing... I know how much effort it takes so I think 'good work', the same as I would for a guy that obviously spends a lot of time restoring a car or something.

 

Being a man I know how competitive men can be (I am, for sure), but I had no idea that guys did this stuff (correcting posture, puffing up their chest like a bird, flexing, etc). I haven't been to the beach since I've "gotten in shape", so now I'm a bit concerned I'll be uncomfortable if other guys look my way and start pulling that crap. I mean... I work on my body so hard for myself and for my wife - I have no interest in stealing women from anyone.. take it easy fellas lol.

[ADF]

A lot of guys will change their posture, stance, and demeanor when they walk by certain other guys in decent shape...they may try flexing their entire body, getting all huffy and puffy, or sucking in their gut...while others will actually *fix* their posture and walk correctly and confidently (i.e., head up, chest out, shoulders back, etc.)...

 

And it's a phenomenon that occurs only when passing other men...they don't do this when passing by women!!!

 

This is an excellent observation, and if you think about it, it makes perfect sense. So much of macho behavior is only superficially about women. On a deeper level, it is about competitiveness between men.

 

To cite a more extreme example than flexing at the beach, have you ever noticed that the biggest players are often the guys who get the most insanely jealous when their GFs screw aorund with other guys? These guys aren't jealous because thet love their GFs so much. They're jealous because they hate the idea of another man getting what they consider theirs.

[tman666]

Once again, I'll say pretty much the same thing I said in Cuppa's old thread before that went full-on nuclear meltdown:

 

Hokie's observation is just that: an observation. He's observed a phenomenon that happens everywhere. It might be more accentuated at beaches, gyms, pools, and other places (some) people go to be seen, but it does happen everywhere.

 

If you're the kind of person that can go out in public and never notice other people's bodies and never feel self conscious about your own, then that is wonderful. However, the vast majority of people do notice each other, do compare their own bodies to others, and do try and subtly one-up each other. It's a behavior that is ingrained into us biologically.

 

"People watching" is one of my favorite activities. Does that mean I'm sitting there making disdainful comments in my head about everyone around me? Of course not. It simply entails observing how people interact.

[threebyfate]

Awww, TBF, don't be silly...

 

Don't get me wrong, I never have and will never look down on anyone because of their physique...yes, I offer my opinion and any constructive criticism about how they could improve themselves, but I never think any less of someone because of their physical appearance. I also usually never comment or "criticize" female physiques, and keep that criticism completely separate from what I find attractive.

 

Yea, it might sound like I'm this vain and conceited douche that looks down on anyone who isn't an Adonis...trust me, I'm not...

I'm just teasing you Hokie. Everyone checks each other out to a reasonable degree.

[pureinheart]

I was at the beach yesterday with my brother and cousin and went on a long walk down the beach and the Boardwalk. It was really crowded out so there was lots of people watching to be done and observations to be made, primarily regarding the guys.

 

 

(1) Guys are hella competitive...

 

A lot of guys will change their posture, stance, and demeanor when they walk by certain other guys in decent shape...they may try flexing their entire body, getting all huffy and puffy, or sucking in their gut...while others will actually *fix* their posture and walk correctly and confidently (i.e., head up, chest out, shoulders back, etc.)...

 

And it's a phenomenon that occurs only when passing other men...they don't do this when passing by women!!!

 

 

(2) Eyes play tricks on us...

 

People's bodies look significantly better from a distance than they do from closer in...and I will admit that I check out other guys' physiques (any guy who says he doesn't is lying to you... )...so from the distance, I see a guy who I think looks like he's in pretty good shape, but as I get closer, I realize although he's got relatively low body fat, he's a tiny little thing with very little muscle mass...almost more frail than fit...

 

 

(3) I get insecure because of point #2 above...

 

I had a discussion with my brother about the whole illusion thing...when I see it all the time with other guys, I get insecure that it's the same way with me...but I suppose I just use that as motivation to work harder...

 

 

I don't know how it is with women...but I'm sure you're just as competitive as the guys...do you find that you're checking out other women...?

 

Ya, I've seen guys do that before...lol...in fact my ex used to lower his voice when talking to a guy....it's a guy thing;)

 

Women can be extremely competitive...some act like their sh*t doesn't stink and others are so insecure when it comes to their men....OMG. I understand how they feel, although I have seen some go way overboard.

 

I quit going to church without an escort due to this, one time when I walked by this couple (that I didn't even know) the lady gave me a dirty look and grabbed her H's hand, I caught this out of the corner of my eye. I could understand this behavior if I was using flirtatious body language, or dressed inappropriately (for church), but I was neither.

 

This type of thing happens a lot so I avoid couples like the plague, unless they are really good friends.

 

I used to feel uncomfortable around other women and sometimes competitive, but even in my most insecure days, I just wanted to have fun...now I don't care and just want to find the food (hyperthyroid people need to be fed often:eek:).