spidermonkey Posted June 6, 2010 Share Posted June 6, 2010 I'm a 21 year old senior in college and have known with my fiancée (planning a wedding for June 2012) since I was 14 and we have been in a relationship since I was 17. We graduated high school together and left for colleges an hour apart, seeing each other every other weekend and every time we parted, I cried my self to sleep. He graduated with his associates degree and started attending the same college as me working on his bachelors degree. At first I was ecstatic, but then my life took a turn for the worse. I have always been active in activities and athletics, so you can imagine how broken hearted I was when I learned that I need to have a major shoulder surgery, in which they left 4 incisions and implanted 4 anchors. So last November, I went through with the surgery and lived on the couch with my 2 best friends taking care of me, so I could still attend classes when I felt like it. My fiancée rarely came an visited me and hardly made an effort to be with me for the first month that I was recovering, and no calls or text messages either. Until mid-February, I still didn't see my fiancée much, at least I had calls and text messages now. In March, for spring break, my two best friends and I left for a road trip 1400 miles to visit one of their parents who had moved there 9 months prior, we'll call this best friend #1, and the other is #2. We spent a week with #1's parents and then returned to start classes again. When we return, my fiancée all of a sudden wants to do everything with me and is more over the top than ever before. My problem is now that I didn't want to do EVERYTHING with him anymore and tried to explain to him that I have friends who I like to see and we can't spend every moment of every day together, thats just not who I am or who I ever was. In the beginning of April, I moved in with #1. And in the end of April #2 also moved in for the last month of school before she gradated and left for camp for the summer. #2 and I have always been really close friends since we met 2 years ago, we've always been able to talk to each other about anything and everything and we know everything about the each other. She knows more about me than my fiancée, and he's known me for 6 years longer. Sometime, somehow, in the middle of April, #2 and my relationship changed. I guess you could call it friends with benefits. Because she was moving to camp soon, all of her furniture went to storage and I let her share my room with me and sleep in my bed with me. I love my fiancee very much and never want to hurt him, but things are different now than they were when he proposed a year ago. He doesn't know about #2 and I. #2 and I have an amazing relationship and I love her very much too. She left for camp over a week ago and I've cried myself to sleep every night shes been gone. Before she left, we went to a movie and halfway through it, she leaned over and thanked me, when I asked her what for and stated that I haven't done anything, she responded with "you fell in love with me." I cried. I am looking for advice, but I realize that I need to make my own decisions. I don't want to hurt either of them, but it seems thats going to happen no matter what. Link to post Share on other sites
forevertoday Posted June 6, 2010 Share Posted June 6, 2010 I'm confused. So you are having difficulties regarding the course of a future relationship between your future husband and your best (girl)friend? Link to post Share on other sites
lostsunsets Posted June 7, 2010 Share Posted June 7, 2010 Obviously, you should let your fiance find someone who will be faithful to him. You seem to be over him and are into girls now. Nothing wrong with that. Only that you are a cheater. Please don't marry the guy and saddle him with someone who will only betray him and hurt him. Link to post Share on other sites
seibert253 Posted June 7, 2010 Share Posted June 7, 2010 You know the right thing to do. You don't really need us to tell you, but I guess I will anyway.If you no longer have the love for your fiance' that you once have, and you've now developed love for #2, as you call her, then the right thing to do is tell your fiance' you've developed love for someone else and cut him loose. Yes he will be hurt, devistated, and crushed. But, it time he will heal, move forward, and find someone who will devote their total self to him. You are not that person.Look, you've already cheated on him, plain and simple. If you marry him, you will continue to cheat on him with #2. That's a fact. I'll bet the farm on it.As a BS I'll reserve my comments about cheating, but I really want you to do what's right in your case. Let him go! Link to post Share on other sites
MisUnderstanding Posted June 7, 2010 Share Posted June 7, 2010 Just because you're doing it with a woman does not change the name of it - what you are doing is cheating. You need to decide which way you are going to "sway". If it is men you want, your fiancee in particular, then tell him everything and pray for forgiveness, and that will not be easy. And if you want to be with #2 then tell your fiancee asap and let the poor man move on. Whether he was attentive or not, HE did not cheat on you. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts