How do you do it?

[catcountry]

My LDR is very new...we became friends on Facebook...started chatting in December...admitted a like for one another in April...between then and now we have grown very close and care very much for one another...and I will be taking a trip to see him in August. We were in the same high school but different grades and he remembers much more about me than I do of him. This man and I both believe that we have found our other half.

 

My point...I find that I am thinking about him constantly. As much as I like thinking about him I sure would like to turn it off once in a while. How do you all cope with being away from each other? How do you keep your thoughts in check?

 

Like I mentioned...this is very new...and I feel like it's driving me crazy, because I want what I want and I want it now. LOL Any input would be greatly appreciated.

[SinTzu]

Well when I had that feeling I found it helpful to do things with my friends. Or go out and do something intensive enough that you have to focus on it and can't think of him all day. It's not healthy to think of someone that much. At least not in my experience.

[Spiritofnow]

I can remember feeling this way and finding it difficult to really be present in my day. I think the distance just intensifies those initial feelings we feel when we are in the beginnings of a positive intimate relationship. I found it really frustrating and all consuming too. I guess, I found ways of just channelling that energy, so I would use the gym and have the most amazing work-out. You will need to find something that helps you relieve those feelings, because they are a natural process of feeling intimate feelings and interconnectedness for another human being.

 

I am so thankful that 2 years down the road in my LDR that I am able to handle the distance and the dynamics of my relationship much better than I started off . Just remember it's normal to have those intense feelings, and due to the distance it makes it harder to express them and release them. I also emailed my SO more and did as much with him on-line as I could so that I felt connected.

 

Over time the intensity will dissipate to a more manageable level, and as you become more experienced with the dynamics of an LDR, and you pick up resources that work for you and your SO to help bridge the distance you will find that enables you to cope better. I have found that my desire to try to make my SO a part of everything that I feel and do has lessened, because as our relationship became more stable I felt more secure about what we have. I have learned over the course of 2 and a half years that being present in my day and integrating my SO in practical and realistic ways makes me feel less frustrated.

Edited June 7, 2010 by Spiritofnow

[Spiritofnow]

ps And, in direct response to your threads title: 'how do you do it?' the simple truth for me is LOVE.