A Bit Stuck :/

[Danibelle]

Right, so I've been 'seeing' this guy for just over 4 months now, we havent actually met but he seems genuine. I've met a lot of people online so i'm always been wary of people i meet on the net, but we talk on cam and he's very sweet and everything's been going okay up until recently.

 

He suddenly has a huge problem with the fact that i drink alcohol XD he seems to think that because i have a glass of wine sometimes in the evening with a meal, or because i go out drinking with friends at the weekend, that i have a serious drinking problem and that i'm going to die by the time i am 40. He says it's because he doesn't want to lose me, and i know he says he lost friends in the past because of alcohol. But he's really frying my brain about the whole thing. He just wants me to stop drinking altogether, and because i said i enjoy drinking with my friends and that i'm not just going to stop doing it, he seems to think i'm an alcoholic :/ like, i'm only 18 and i'm getting really frustrated with him telling me that all the time. Like, do I even wana go out with a person who would stay with someone who was an alcoholic? lol xD even though i'm not it's horrible to think that he thinks i'm addicted to alcohol and so do his friends. It makes me laugh sometimes but it's also really getting to me that he's actually serious, and there's just no getting through to him at all that i am not addicted to alcohol, just because i drink every weekend with my mates :/ i've told him that if it makes him happy i will actually just drink once a week on weekends, but because i refuse to stop completely, to him it means that i'm addicted :/ i dont go out on the 'lash' and i can't say i've ever been so drunk that i can't speak or walk etc and i know he's probably only looking out for me, but how do i tell him to like, back off? xD according to him its a 'major defect' :/ and i know that because i havent agreed to do what he wants that he's annoyed with me. I care about him so much and I want to make him happy, but should i really have to change the way i socialise just because he wants me to? Am i being unreasoable or? Any ideas what i should do?

 

Thanks, Dani.

And sorry for the long post xD

[stace79]

You're not at all being unreasonable. I would say blow him off. My bf rarely if ever drinks, but he doesn't begrudge me having a couple beers on Friday night with my friends, or having a drink at a football game or cookout with family.

 

Now, I have had a few episodes where I drank too much, but those instances are less than once per year. He expresses concern when I do that, and obviously never wants me to drink and drive. But he doesn't tell me I'm an alcoholic.

 

I think this is a huge difference in opinion for the two of you that may not be overcome. If I were you, I would blow him off.

[Danibelle]

Yeah, like if he had such a big problem with this then he should have mentioned it before. He wants to change me, and yes I know alcohol isn't really good for me. But he really can't get over the fact that i won't stop because like to drink as opposed to being an alchie. I said i'd keep it to once a week what more does he want?

And the more i think about it i wouldnt be surprised if he just said that to be a drama queen with his mates "yeah my gf was an alchee but she's clean now" - he actually told them that o.o

I was mortified XD haha

Perhaps he should just go find someone who drinks milk and suits him a bit better (:

[Els]

He sounds incredibly unknowledgable. I'd send him a scientific article on the benefits of modest alcohol consumption (as well as their definition of 'modest' - which is typically a glass of red wine a day for females), and see how he responds to that.

[goatee]

The distances and difficulties involved with LDR is too great to invest in someone who wants to change you. With all the problems you're going to have getting it to work it a big relief to know that the person on the other end likes you just the way you are.