need friends' approval of another friend

[griffinchicken53]

not sure if that is a good title.

here goes....had been friends with this girl i worked with a few years ago. we'd go to lunch, hang out a few times outside of work. people said she was a user and was only friends with me so she could use me. i really never felt that was the case. if she did use me it's cuz i let it be known i'd do something.

sort of like i needed to talk to her but she was out of phone minutes, so i paid part of her bill cuz i needed advice. i'd buy her lunch, cuz i felt the company of a hot woman was worth the cost of an entree.

some other people that i worked with said she had dated one or two other guys and that they were making out on the job sometimes. she made it clear she wasn't attracted to me. even though i was dumb and kind of fell at one point. maybe cuz i liked her is why i let myself be used. just thought she's the only woman that likes to be around me, maybe she's the only one.

so there were people that kept saying don't be friends with her, you don't need to hang out with her,etc. she's a bad influence.

 

she started dating a guy and we kind of lost contact after i quit the job.

so recently ran across her on myspace-facebook and we've been emailing, text messaging a bit. she's yet to ask anything of me, has apologized for anything she did at that time.

but i'm afraid of what people might say if they know i'm talking to her again. i have no thoughts of romantic involvement this time, she has a kid now and i don't want to sound like a jerk, at this time of my life i don't want to date someone tied down with a kid. back then i didn't actively try to date anyone, some because i tried and failed, a short while cuz i liked her, and then i just felt like a loser and anyone who went out with me would just leave me.

i don't try to date now cuz i'm trying to self improve, get financially secure, get a career path, etc. but are people going to think i'm really holding off dating cuz i'm still thinking of her in that way? i'm not, i just don't want to deal with people accusing me of that.. but she might feel bad if i'm hiding that i talk to her.

 

p.s. also, i never really went into detail about people thinking she used me. she asked me for something one time, and i said sure if i could see her breasts. so after she showed them to me i felt obligated to help. and another occasion or two i got to feel them. at a loss about what to do.