ukgirl28 Posted January 29, 2004 Share Posted January 29, 2004 ...and if they come back to you, then they're yours forever. Im sure everyone has heard of that quote before...I would like to know if it was meant for couples who break-up, and go their separate ways? Or is it just a saying that if you love someone, let them do as they please??? I would like to know What your opinons of this saying? Link to post Share on other sites
midori Posted January 29, 2004 Share Posted January 29, 2004 I think this proverb is not specifically intended for people going through a break-up, but it's one that can be helpful to bear in mind if you're in the midst of one, and not happy about it. You wouldn't want to be with someone who was with you out of a sense of obligation, or pity, or for any other reason than because being with you makes him happy. Holding on to someone who has decided they want to leave isn't love -- not mutual love anyway. It's coercion. If someone leaves and doesn't return, rather than beating yourself up over the loss and prolonging your suffering, you might bear in mind that you didn't lose anything, because at the time your lover left you didn't have anything. You can't convince someone to love you. They do or they don't, it's not something you can control. So it's better to let go, and then allow yourself to be open to someone new -- someone who chooses to be with you. Maybe down the road that "new" person will be your old lover, in which case you'll know that he's there because he wants to be. But don't look for it to happen. You won't be keeping a light in the window hoping for his return if you've truly let go. Sooooo hard. I know. If you're going through that now, I'm sorry. It gets better -- and will do so sooner if you find a way to let go. Link to post Share on other sites
Doreme Posted January 31, 2004 Share Posted January 31, 2004 Yes, we all know this proverb. but people have very different thoughts about it: Variations If you love someone, set him free, if he doesn't come back, HE'S PROBABLY WITH ME! Pessimist: If you love someone, Set her free ...If she ever comes back, she's yours, If she doesn't, as expected, she never was Optimist: If you love someone, Set her free ... Don't worry, she will come back. Suspicious: If you love someone, Set him free ...If he ever comes back, ask him why. Suspicious 2: If you love someone, set her free ... but get someone to follow her Go-getter: If you love someone, Set her free ... If she comes back, she's yours, If she doesn't, go get her ! Impatient: If you love someone, Set her free ... If she doesn't comes back within some time forget her. Patient: If you love someone, set her free ... If she doesn't come back, continue to wait until she comes back ... Playful: If you love someone, Set her free ...If she comes back, and if you love her still, Set her free again, repeat * C++ Programmer: if(you-love(m_she)) m_she-free() if(m_she == NULL) m_she= new CShe; Possessive: If you love someone, Set her free? NEVER! Paranoid: If you love someone, When you let her go, she'll be out to get you. Old-Fashioned/Conservative: If you love someone, Set her free, But only if chaperoned by her parents. Animal-Rights Activist: If you love someone, Set her free, In fact, all living creatures deserve to be free!! Lawyers: If you love someone, Set her free, Clause 1a of Paragraph 13a-1 in the second amendment of the Matrimonial Freedom Act clearly states that... Bill Gates : If you love someone, Set her free, If she comes back, I think we can charge her for re-installation fees and but tell her that she's also going to get an upgrade. Biologist : If you love someone, Set her free, She'll evolve. Statisticians : If you love someone, Set her free, If she loves you, the probability of her coming back is high. If she doesn't, your relation was improbable anyway. Dental hygienist : If you love someone Set her free, She'll be back when the cavity strikes. Shwarzenegger's fans If you love someone, Set her free, SHE'LL BE BACK! Weatherman, If you love someone, Set her free, If she comes back, it's back! If she doesn't... who cares! Pathetic : If you love someone, Set her free, If she comes back, okay! If she doesn't, how could her! Sore-looser If you love someone, Set her free, If she comes back, dump her! If she doesn't, make up bad stories about her Government: If you love someone, Set him free, If he come back, queue him but tax him for the freedom either way Double Dispatcher: If you are dumb and deaf in love with someone blind, Set them free. Student in the midst of an exam period: If you love someone,Set him free ... If he comes back during the exam period, set him free again,and go and study ... If he doesn't comes back during the exam period, god bless. If he doesn't comes back at all, god bless you too. ........ Link to post Share on other sites
Vivid_29 Posted January 31, 2004 Share Posted January 31, 2004 Originally posted by ukgirl28 ...and if they come back to you, then they're yours forever. Im sure everyone has heard of that quote before...I would like to know if it was meant for couples who break-up, and go their separate ways? Or is it just a saying that if you love someone, let them do as they please??? I would like to know What your opinons of this saying? Honestly, I think that it's a full of sh*t saying, because I believe that, if you don't want me now, don't even think about wanting me later, because if you do try to come back, I will slam the door in your face!!! ~V Link to post Share on other sites
UCFKevin Posted January 31, 2004 Share Posted January 31, 2004 Dammit, what happened to my post? ANyway, I said before, regarding the whole "If you love someone, set them free" stuff...I don't think it should be necessary. If there's love, setting them free shouldn't have to happen for them to realize they're in love or whatever. So set them free? We shouldn't have to. Link to post Share on other sites
Helpme2004 Posted January 31, 2004 Share Posted January 31, 2004 Oh i so agree with you UCFKevin you shuldnt have to set someone free to prove that they love you if they want to leave then maybe it just wasnt meant to be. Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted January 31, 2004 Share Posted January 31, 2004 This only works if you happen to have taken up with a knob who hasn't the good sense to realize what is his. Sometimes it is only through loss that people understand what it is they have lost. Link to post Share on other sites
UCFKevin Posted January 31, 2004 Share Posted January 31, 2004 Yes, that IS indeed true, but it's just a shame that that has to happen. I'll be honest, I took things for granted in my last relationship. It ending was the wake up call I needed, and I'll never let it happen again, but I always loved her, always knew it and always told her. Live and learn, I guess. Link to post Share on other sites
DarkClouds Posted February 1, 2004 Share Posted February 1, 2004 I was in a relationship for 7 years... First year, we were young and didn't take each other seriously and broke up (ppl repeated "If he loves you yada yada"...). I went o/s, 6 months later I returned and he came back. Second time around, we really fell in love and spoke of marriage. He said "This is it for me" but I had issues and uncertainty now. I felt stifled and unsure. We broke up.... I regretted not seeing what I'd had when I'd had it. We got back together 6 months later... 3rd time around, fell again madly in love. His parents - saying because we kept breaking up, we weren't suited. They wanted to arrange a marriage for him with someone more suitable in culture and status (He's of Indian culture)... We broke up cuz it bothered him they didn't give us their blessing... I was devastated... 9 years later since first meeting, the moral to my story is, although it's been almost 2 years since our last split, he still refuses the arranged marriage, hasn't dated again and contacts me every single day 'just to say hi'... I've outgrown wanting to be in the relationship now... I don't regret the times spent and the happiness lost. I've learnt so much through him and learn so much more still. But the saying rings true... Altho we're both free and not together now, his love is still very strongly with me... It's fairly simple to know when someone loves you, and will love you for always... You just know... It doesn't mean sometimes tho, that you're meant to be together as partners in life... The saying to me should say: "If you love someone and you set them, and even if you are loving from afar (just hoping they are okay and happy etc), that is TRUE love and only then will you love for eternity"... and eternity means 'for keeps'... TRUE LOVE - If you can send them on their way just with hope that they will find what they seek, and be comforted in knowing they're okay - that is true love... True love doesn't say "I demand you be with me - even if you're unhappy here or need to go elsewhere to learn something, you MUST be with me".... That is not true love, that is wishful thinking.... If they also realise they have TRUE love for you, then their lives may be willed to yours... My advice to myself is: to stop trying to make things happen, to allow things to just be and happen according to play - and just to enjoy the journey, and the uncertainty, of what comes... Love is amazingly uncertain sometimes, and certainly amazing all the time... Link to post Share on other sites
Aonz Posted February 1, 2004 Share Posted February 1, 2004 Originally posted by UCFKevin Dammit, what happened to my post? ANyway, I said before, regarding the whole "If you love someone, set them free" stuff...I don't think it should be necessary. If there's love, setting them free shouldn't have to happen for them to realize they're in love or whatever. So set them free? We shouldn't have to. What if you love them but they don't love you? It was Richard Bach who said "If you love someone, set them free. If they come back they're yours; if they don't they never were." Link to post Share on other sites
UCFKevin Posted February 1, 2004 Share Posted February 1, 2004 They shouldn't be with you if they don't love you. It shouldn't be up to us to let them free to find out. Link to post Share on other sites
DarkClouds Posted February 3, 2004 Share Posted February 3, 2004 There's a saying: It's only after you've lost everything that you're free to do anything. Sometimes ppl need to b free to realise what their hearts hold on to - unfort. What can u do? But take each day as it comes and see where it leads you... Link to post Share on other sites
Thinkalot Posted February 4, 2004 Share Posted February 4, 2004 Just wanted to add another bit of food for thought on here, which looks at the concept of not holding on to someone too tightly...a quote from poet Rainer Maria Rilke: "We need in love, to practise only this: letting each other go. For holding on comes easily: we do not need to learn it." We do not need to learn how to hold on, because we learnt how to do that when we were kids in our families...oftentimes 'self' and 'other' get muddled up in families too. Link to post Share on other sites
abbyroadme Posted February 4, 2004 Share Posted February 4, 2004 Originally posted by ukgirl28 ...and if they come back to you, then they're yours forever. Im sure everyone has heard of that quote before...I would like to know if it was meant for couples who break-up, and go their separate ways? Or is it just a saying that if you love someone, let them do as they please??? I would like to know What your opinons of this saying? I really believe this saying is if you love them, let it go.....they come back it's true. Recently, I got back with my high school sweetheart. I did not date him for 3 years since the last break up. He came back to me around Thanksgiving time last year. Both of us have changed so much, I think it's for real this time. It might not work for some, but it worked for me. Link to post Share on other sites
DarkClouds Posted February 4, 2004 Share Posted February 4, 2004 Here's something I read today from Rumi (1207-1273): The one who cuts off your head is your friend. The one who puts it back is a deceiver. The one who weighs you with his troubles is your burden. But the one who truly loves you will set you free. Link to post Share on other sites
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