Tony T Posted July 12, 2000 Share Posted July 12, 2000 You have no marriage. And whatever you do have is in critical condition. Your "husband" doesn't even listen to you or respect your feelings. My cat is better in that regard. Forget the 12 hours a day he spends on the computer. If he spends the 8 hours you are willing to permit, that leaves 8 hours for work, and the remaining 8 hours for commuting, eating, showering, etc. I am no genius mathematician but you are getting nothing whatsoever out of this marriage as far as time is concerned. As time goes on you will be a very lonely person. The Internet is emerging as one of the leading causes of divorce. I was recently reading about a woman who divorced her husband because he spent every waking hour on an Internet auction site. Your feelings of neglect and loneliness will only get worse. You did not marry him so he could come to this country, sit in your home, and glue himself to his computer. Frankly, you need to question exactly why he got married. If you cannot go to counselling together and work something out (8 hours is way way too much, maybe two hours per day on the Internet at most for a serious addict like him), and work on strategies for interacting like a married couple who enjoys each other's company, then you might ask him to let you use the computer a half hour per day to find another mate. There may be some workshops or treatment facilities in your area for Internet addiction. Look into those. They may have some pointers for you as a victim. Amazing how humans can find more and more things to get addicted to. Link to post Share on other sites
devon Posted July 12, 2000 Share Posted July 12, 2000 shannon, how ironic to read your post "after" putting mine on here about the exact same thing. i can symphathize with you tho even i am like your husband, not quite that bad, but according to my b'f i am. i do it cause i am bored. he watches t.v. or reads the paper and if i am not interested in whats on t.v. i either tell him and he changes it or i say nothing and come to the 'puter'. i don't want to sit and watch him read the paper or watch t.v. this is much more interesting. i know i spend alot of time on here but i wouldn't if we were out doing something. well good luck.........devon Ok, here's the problem. My husband and I are one of those internet couples that actually met thru the net. We have been married for almost three years and living in the states. He is from Denmark originally. Since we were married everything is great except for the problem of the computer. Although he does not chat and I have no reason to even think he is doing anything wrong, he spends endless hours on the net downloading games and programs and trying new things, to the tune of in excess sometimes of 12 hrs a day. Knowing the computer is important to him I lightly suggested he decrease his time to say eight hours and holy cow you would of thought I said something horrible. I didn't say stop didn't say you are doing something wrong, I just pointed out that anything in life is best done in moderation and the net is included. I have no doubt he loves me but this net obsession is causing real problems. I try to talk to him while he is working on puter and his concentration is so good that he totally blocks me and everything out around him. If I ask him to do something he does so willingly and without problem but never takes the initive to do anything on his own. I must tell him to cut the lawn, or take out the garbage or bring a dish down he would never do anything unless I formally bring it to his attention to do it and this is all driving me nuts. I have tried explaining to him how I feel and although we have had this conversation many times I keep hitting a stone wall. He listens and then that is it , it is never resolved and just glossed over to the next time. Last night when I brought up the net again after he had spent 12 hrs on it for the last week every day, he got totally ticked off said I guess I don't ever do anything right and stormed out of the room only to sleep on the couch. First time he has ever done that. Am I being unreasonable wanting perhaps more from my marriage than a conversation about hard drives? Would appreciate an outside opinion on this one. Thanks Link to post Share on other sites
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