Indecision...

[amerikajin]

I've had a problem in my life: indecisiveness.

 

I'm always dithering between one choice or another. At one time, I wanted to be a journalist; then I wanted to be a sports broadcaster; then I wanted to be an attorney; then I wanted to be a politician; then I wanted to be a bureaucrat; then I wanted to be a public affairs specialist; then I wanted to be a stockbroker; then I thought I'd settle for being a traveling salesman; then I thought, hmmm...maybe I'll be a recruiter; and then I thought again and said "Oh, wait, no I'll be a traveling teacher" (which is what I am today); and then lately, I've been thinking...maybe I'll own my own language school...or maybe I'll go back to school and become a university professor. Oh f_ck! Like I have any clue.

 

Here's my problem. I always seem to find something to deter me from taking decisive action. I'm obsessed with having options. I always have two drawers open at the same time.

 

Take going back to school for example. I've thought about becoming an attorney or a university professor...if only it didn't cost so g@ddamn much! I'd be in debt for the next decade and beyond after graduation. At least with my current mind-numbingly boring "career" I'm earning money, saving, traveling and what not. Sure, I'm occasionally going insane with culture shock but what did I expect, right?

 

Has anyone ever gone through this? What did you do to fix the problem? Was there a moment of clarity?

[doniker]

I am 40 and still don't know what I want to do for a living. At least you have ideas on what you want to be.

 

I have found that most people end up doing something completely different then what they went to school for.

 

Bottom line, you have to pay the bills. If you have kids you have to take care of them. If you want nice things and a certain lifestyle it costs.

 

I hate my job. I have been here over 7 years and it is torture getting out of bed every morning and coming here.

 

But it pays well and there isn't alot out there right now. I have a kid to support, a mortgage to pay and I have to do it.

 

I really don't have time to go to school and don't know what else I would rather do anyway.

 

I really don't want to work at all!!

 

Sure it is great to have a job where you enjoy going to work and it doesn't seem like work, I've been there, but those jobs are tough to come by and still hold responsibilities.

 

Look at the best option and just make a choice.

[moimeme]

I'm obsessed with having options. I always have two drawers open at the same time.

 

Oh Amerikajin! This is SO me!!! I do have problems settling on a definite course of action in case new information will come along about something I might prefer Thank God, this only applies to career issues. If I was like that in relationships, I'd be quite distressed. In terms of career, though, I've always envied people who had a single passion and pursued it. I have a bazillion passions and not a long-enough projected lifespan (nor cash) to pursue them all LOL. Mind you, in some cases the path I was on got derailed (the research organization I planned to work at a long time got wiped out by government cuts, for instance).

 

Here's what I did: I took umpteen 'career preference' type tests. Best of the bunch so far IMHO is the Birkman First Look which teases out your career orientation, management styles, job strengths and ideal work environment in terms of the degree to which you suit the work of 'administrator', 'expediter', 'planner', or 'communicator'. Based on your particular combination of strengths/interest in these areas, you get a list of possible career options that should suit you.

 

I also did a couple other typical 'career planning' exercises. One asks you to picture your ideal work day in terms of where you work and with whom, what sort of work you'd be doing, etc. It was tremendously useful to me. The other was to reflect on my jobs so far and decide what gave me the most pleasure. I also looked back over my non-work life and sorted out which accomplishments I was most proud of.

 

Then, with those two bits of knowledge in mind, I took the entire list of possible careers and chose those which would afford me the ability to perform the activities which give me the most pleasure (stay on topic! joke about htis later). Then I took those jobs, plus all my other passions, and compared them, two at a time, so for instance would I rather be a member of the clergy or work in management in an arts organization.

 

At the end of all this, I boiled it down to 'career counsellor'. So I'm taking a distance course as a career practitioner. I will indulge in some of my other passions as hobbies or as part of volunteer organizations. With any luck, I'll save folks like you and me the years of indecision. Mind you, I have had interesting jobs, learned TONs of nifty stuff, and met great people along my way, but I decided that the people who say that one must work at something one LOVES ought to be heeded so that is my aim.

 

Joke alert: One wag said "If I could get a job doing what I love best, somebody would pay me to go out to dinner and have sex every day"

[Kriz]

Laugh all you want, but I'm beginning to think the underlying dynamic in my decision to study law was the injustice I feel was done to me in highschool. Although I can't say money had nothing to do with it

[jester]

You're what I would call a "Radical Man." That is, someone who experiments with different paths and is reluctant to commit to one or another. Commitment to path A means foreclosure of paths b-n. Commitment=Death.

 

In my youth I was in the ranks of the uncommitted. After getting expelled from college I did the following: hospital union organizing, chemist/steel worker, OR orderly, warehouseman/forklift driver, lived in a Christian pacifist house(although I was neither) and I was unemployed(and read alot). I had a great time.

 

I eventually went back to college, graduated and moved on to law school. I've been practicing for 20 years. Nothing concentrates the mind, Amerikajin, as when you get married and start a family. At that point, you commit to a career path. (Or at least one tries.)

 

As for your "two drawers open" personality, I predict that, at some point in your life, you'll close one of those drawers, but you'll be so busy you won't even think about it.

[Arabess]

You know Amer.....I think a person's career is much like their love life. Some people know exactly what they want and are 'lifers', some are only sure what they want currently and only intend to hang in there as long as it's good, and others don't want to commit to anything....in case something better comes along. HAHA!

 

You are young, smart. have tons of options and aren't weighed down by family responsibility yet. Most people can only dream of being in your position. Linger awhile....and enjoy these days. It's a luxury which only comes once in a lifetime.

 

.....Gawd I'm jealous.......

 

[reasontosigh]

Was there a moment of clarity?

 

I'd say my light bulb has gone off recently.

 

I am 40 and still don't know what I want to do for a living

 

This describes me too, basically.

 

I am struggling with the issue of going back to school myself right now. I have some idea how the school path will work, though not an actual major yet. Start with the basic college courses, and add business courses along the way, which will come in handy whether you decide to work for yourself or for someone else. The difficult part is sorting out how to be able to keep a roof over my head and bills paid while I'm doing so, but I am still researching that aspect. I am discovering there is plenty of help available here for adults going back to school.

 

Still trying to build my timeline for all this too. I don't consider patience to be my strong suit - "I want it all and dangit, I want it now!" - but as things start to fall into place I'm sure I'll be a bit less anxious.

 

The jobs I've had to this point (including the present one) are ones that can be carried over to any field should one find oneself laid off or something (which is an advantage) but are not very high up on the payscale pecking order. So if I've decided anything, it's that a change will certainly do me good!

[amerikajin]

>>>You're what I would call a "Radical Man."<<<

 

Wow! Cool! I've never had someone call me "radical" anything before. I kinda like it. Maybe I'll run for president one day and then scream until my voice gives out after losing the Iowa caucuses.

 

>>>I eventually went back to college, graduated and moved on to law school. I've been practicing for 20 years. Nothing concentrates the mind, Amerikajin, as when you get married and start a family. At that point, you commit to a career path. (Or at least one tries.)<<<

 

I know, I know. I see my older brother, married with two kids. He hardly has time to drop me a line anymore.

 

>>>As for your "two drawers open" personality, I predict that, at some point in your life, you'll close one of those drawers, but you'll be so busy you won't even think about it.<<<

 

I was afraid you'd say that.

 

>>>Linger awhile....and enjoy these days. It's a luxury which only comes once in a lifetime.<<<

 

It's weird. I turn 30 in two weeks, and now all of a sudden I begin to feel just a little bit older - not old, just older. It's like now all of a sudden I'm beginning to realize that I won't always have this opportunity to choose my path. I keep thinking maybe it's time to make some decisions soon.