Friends with benefits or more??

[sarah83]

Please bear with me this is going to be a long one, but i would really appreciate any advice anyone has on this situation as its driving me crazy!

 

I met a man earlier this year who i went on some dates with and we hit it off straight away. We were seeing each other for around 6/8 weeks when he went very cold on me and said he didn't want a relationship with me. I was devasted as i was very into him.

 

After this happened we saw each other as friends a few times, met up for lunch or went for a coffee etc. Everything was fine and i was just happy that we still got on well with each other and began to think that maybe although things hadn't worked out as planned, at least i had met someone i can be good friends with.

 

One night we went out to some bars and had far too much to drink and ended up in bed. I just saw it as one of those drunk things and didn't dwell on it. It happened again a few days later but i made sure i told him in no uncertain terms that i was not the type of girl he can call when he wants to have sex.

 

Ever since this started happening again we are now in daily contact with each other and see each other at least twice a week.

We sleep in the same bed, we don't have sex every time we are together, we can quite happily go to bed and fall asleep cuddling. He's told me he likes having me around and not just for sex.

We hug on the sofa while watching the tv, he has started telling me i look nice when i see him.

He's happy to leave me alone in his house when if he is working when i have a day off.

We have been away for the evening one weekend a couple weeks ago. He's made plans with me later in the year, nothing big, but nothing that you would plan to do with another female if you had ideas on looking for someone new.

This has been going on around 8 weeks now.

 

This isn't something i would do with someone i was just friends with. I know i need to ask him what is going on but at the same time i am afraid as i am not sure what the answer will be and i don't want to ruin what we have now.

 

A little bit about him - he is a divorcee and got hurt in his marriage, he has had no real relationship since their separation around 7 years ago, there is an age gap with us with me being 27 him being 37. I don't see that as any issue and i assume he doesn't.

 

It has got to the point where this is all that is going round and round in my head and its all i can think about! I am in love with him and am aware i am probably setting myself up to get hurt again.

 

Any advice would be great, i haven't had a lot of relationships in the past so i don't have much experience of things like this!