JustJoe Posted June 27, 2010 Share Posted June 27, 2010 Carhill, I have done this ONE time , never again!!! We went to 10-15 Jewelers, heard all about the "investment", "token of undying love", ETC, until I was nauseous, then bought one for $10,000. The engagement lasted 11 mos, so it was worth around $900 a month. When we broke up she asked if she could keep the ring!!! I told her "f*ck no,!", If she wanted the ring , she could buy it from me. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted June 27, 2010 Share Posted June 27, 2010 I'm thinking the 'next' woman will need to buy me an engagement ring Link to post Share on other sites
threebyfate Posted June 27, 2010 Share Posted June 27, 2010 Both of you need to pay off your student loans before splurging on anything like an expensive ring or wedding. Be practical, not stupid about money. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mr White Posted June 29, 2010 Author Share Posted June 29, 2010 I think that no matter how not materialistic the woman is, the ring matters, A LOT. I feel like women are pressured in to saying they don't care but trust me they DO. We want to LOVE that ring and wear it and show it with pride. IMO it is best to get your gf a ring that matches (in cost/value) the rings of other women in her socio economic class. If yo get your gf a .25 carat diamond, and all her friends and relatives are showing off their 1+ carat rings she will feel bad. I'm not saying that one should spend more than they can afford or get in to major debt for the ring. I'm also not saying that the ring is anywhere near as important as the man and marriage. Of course it isn't, but to women, the ring is a huge deal, men should know that, do the best they can and talk to their gf about rings before buying anything. I'm glad that I absolutely love my ring. I'm glad that my SO insisted on looking at rings together. Well, that's kind of what I'm asking, and it's not looking good - her mom is lugging around a 3+ carat diamond, and there is no way I could or would come anywhere close to that. I'm thinking about 1 karat, good cut. That already is plenty expensive --> $4,000 or more! Also, I'm picking up the ring, no consultations. If it's going to be a surprise, it's going to be a surprise. There is just something wrong about walking with your gf in a shop and quietly listening what ring to buy her. I have a classic, understaded taste, so it is highly unlikely that I'd pick something she'll hate. (And, no matter how unlikely, if that actually turns out to be the case, it would provide a valuable last test on whether to proceed with the wedding. I'd think that any sane girl would be too busy being excited to pick on the exact design parameters of the ring.) Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted June 29, 2010 Share Posted June 29, 2010 Related, I'm interested in other's opinions and general discussion of what is a *reasonable* cost for a ring... go used. buy a previously owned ring. 4.5k should get you a real nice quality 1 carat used ring. she'll never know the difference. only y0u and the store will know. i think you should go this route Link to post Share on other sites
allina Posted June 29, 2010 Share Posted June 29, 2010 Not to take this too far off topic, but I would urge you to buy a conflict free diamond. The beauty of a diamond diminishes when it comes from warfare and human rights violations 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mr White Posted June 29, 2010 Author Share Posted June 29, 2010 My partner and I are spending about $550 total on the rings. Neither one of us sees the need to spend any more than that, and we had thought about being even cheaper. I think your bottom line is this: buying a ring is going to be representative of a lot of the other financial decisions that a couple will make. There are some people who need a Porsche; others are fine with a Honda. There are some who need to live in a posh estate; others are okay with living in a bungalow. Some people need a Rolex; some just need a Timex. Some people need to spend a minimum of $5,000 on a gold ring, whereas others get Titanium. You have to know your partner's tastes. If your partner is materialistic, then going on the cheap is not going to work. If your partner isn't materialist, then you probably won't have to spend that much money. It's not as important to know your stones and your karats as it is your partner's tastes. She's very frugal (which is particularly impressive considering that her family is doing well), but I know the ring will be important for her, so, as long as that makes her happy, no problem, I'll just get the best I can reasonably get in cash. I've told her that there is no way I'm ever incurring any debt about anything (except eventually a mortgage), so any decisions about joint finances will start from that premise... Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mr White Posted June 29, 2010 Author Share Posted June 29, 2010 I really wish that in this day and age of supposed equality, someone would please explain why it's always the man who has to buy/give an expensive engagement ring to the woman. Yeah, let's not go there or else I quickly get mad. I would be more accepting of this diamond ring "tradition" if is was actually a tradition, while in reality it is just a 19th-20th century marketing ploy by Tiffany, that just happened to quickly catch on. What a surprise . Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted June 29, 2010 Share Posted June 29, 2010 Not to take this too far off topic, but I would urge you to buy a conflict free diamond. is that like dolphin-free tuna? Link to post Share on other sites
Stung Posted June 30, 2010 Share Posted June 30, 2010 Yeah, let's not go there or else I quickly get mad. I would be more accepting of this diamond ring "tradition" if is was actually a tradition, while in reality it is just a 19th-20th century marketing ploy by Tiffany, that just happened to quickly catch on. What a surprise . That's part of why I asked for a sapphire, personally. Also speaking up in agreement with Allina, if you're going to do the diamond thing please look into conflict-free diamonds. Link to post Share on other sites
Stung Posted June 30, 2010 Share Posted June 30, 2010 Well, that's kind of what I'm asking, and it's not looking good - her mom is lugging around a 3+ carat diamond, and there is no way I could or would come anywhere close to that. I'm thinking about 1 karat, good cut. That already is plenty expensive --> $4,000 or more! Also, I'm picking up the ring, no consultations. If it's going to be a surprise, it's going to be a surprise. There is just something wrong about walking with your gf in a shop and quietly listening what ring to buy her. I have a classic, understaded taste, so it is highly unlikely that I'd pick something she'll hate. (And, no matter how unlikely, if that actually turns out to be the case, it would provide a valuable last test on whether to proceed with the wedding. I'd think that any sane girl would be too busy being excited to pick on the exact design parameters of the ring.) Many stores will give you a temporary ring with a down payment, if you want to surprise her with a ring and still have the option of letting her pick her own later. I'm sure she will be thrilled either way but if does happen that your tastes do not coincide exactly over something she might want to wear the rest of her life that doesn't mean she is insane or wildly ungrateful. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mr White Posted June 30, 2010 Author Share Posted June 30, 2010 Many stores will give you a temporary ring with a down payment, if you want to surprise her with a ring and still have the option of letting her pick her own later. I'm sure she will be thrilled either way but if does happen that your tastes do not coincide exactly over something she might want to wear the rest of her life that doesn't mean she is insane or wildly ungrateful. Yeah, I figure I'll get something basic/classic, like this one: and if she wants to exchange it, that's fine... Link to post Share on other sites
aerogurl87 Posted June 30, 2010 Share Posted June 30, 2010 Yeah, I figure I'll get something basic/classic, like this one: and if she wants to exchange it, that's fine... That's pretty. It's simple but still has a bit of character to it. Link to post Share on other sites
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