Need tips on how to get my ex to come back to me its been 4 months since breakup

[IrocAngel77]

I could really use some good advice..here is the situation..i met my ex boyfriend in the beginning of June and immediatly hit it off. He asked me out and even though he was 18 and i was 25 it still felt right. He was always with me and we were very very close. After a month or so the relationship had gotten so intense he had asked me to marry him ASAP and we would move away ect. I felt like i wanted to hold off on that and he said "well it seems like i am more ready for things than you are." We had very few problems except for a few stupid fights he would start becuase he felt like i didnt pay enough attention to him. A few months went by and he got me pregnant and that is when he became a jerk..he wouldnt touch me and threatned to leave me unless i got an abortion. That alone had changed everything. I didnt know what to do i was so scared and alone so i went and got an abortion (something i swore i would never do) but i was afraid to lose him anyway and do it on my own. I regretted doing it and i was taking it very hard, which he said he couldnt stand seeing me like that. So 3 days after the abortion he told me he didnt think we were right for eachother so he wanted to break up but still remain friends. That was the worst week of my life. After that he was gone alot but still wanted to hang out..and sometimes would tell me he will probably want to get back with me but right now hes not ready for a relationship , meanwhile he would bring the topic up of us, not i. So in december rolls around and he came over alot more and told me he was still in love with me and couldnt think of even being with anyone else, he had sex with me and kept kissing me every time we hung out..so i really thought i was close to getting him back. But after New years he still hung out but seemed more distant. He seemed to be really uncomfortable around me like if i touched his arm even. He was still saying hes not going to be ready for awhile. I dont know what his deal is at all. He did mention liking this other girl but he said it would never happen becuase she was a lesbian or some crap, so he said he will still most likely come back to me but that as of now hes not sure of what he wants. I told him i have no hope that i know hes not coming back and he keeps saying "you should always have hope ill come back". So yea we do still hang out but i feel like i do too much for him sometimes and also we speak on AIM often. I wanted to know is there ANYTHING at all i can do to make him want me more or possibly get him to come back quicker?? He knows that im still madly in love with him and want him to come back and he knows i always jump when he wants me to do something for him. I feel hes losing respect for me in a way becuase of this. There has to be some way to change my actions to make him rethink things. Also one more thing is he does call me alot and contacts me so i dont know lol. thanks

[Benedict]

Girl, you are in a world of hurt. Sounds pretty bad.

 

Here are some truths, however...

 

This guy is a piece of sh*t. He is keeping you hanging around for convenient sex when he wants it. First of all, he is 18, which means he is barely past wearing diapers, and probably still in puberty. It also means he has not seen even a tiny bit of the world, and therefore does not know his a$$ from a hole in the ground. Seriously, if you had a brother that knew what was going on here, he would beat this guy's a$$, but good.

 

The fact that he threatened to dump you if you didn't get an abortion is just short of criminal. Thet fact that you did, and he still bailed is worse. What is it about this guy that makes him so special? I've known mosquitoes that are more worthwhile...

 

Want to know the worst part of all this? You're begging for more!! WHAT??!?! You should be looking for ways to keep this creep away from you. You should run - not walk - to the nearest counselor and find out why you would be willing to sell out your own morals for this dickweed.

 

Why does he act this way? Because you let him, hon.

 

Just my $.02...

[ojibwaywmn]

Originally posted by Benedict

Girl, you are in a world of hurt. Sounds pretty bad.

 

Here are some truths, however...

 

This guy is a piece of sh*t. He is keeping you hanging around for convenient sex when he wants it. First of all, he is 18, which means he is barely past wearing diapers, and probably still in puberty. It also means he has not seen even a tiny bit of the world, and therefore does not know his a$$ from a hole in the ground. Seriously, if you had a brother that knew what was going on here, he would beat this guy's a$$, but good.

 

The fact that he threatened to dump you if you didn't get an abortion is just short of criminal. Thet fact that you did, and he still bailed is worse. What is it about this guy that makes him so special? I've known mosquitoes that are more worthwhile...

 

Want to know the worst part of all this? You're begging for more!! WHAT??!?! You should be looking for ways to keep this creep away from you. You should run - not walk - to the nearest counselor and find out why you would be willing to sell out your own morals for this dickweed.

 

Why does he act this way? Because you let him, hon.

 

Just my $.02...

 

I have to agree with this post. He is immature and selfish and it will take a long time for him to get past that stage. Abortion is a tough enough issue to deal with, you don't need his childish crap on top of it. Think of yourself and leave this little boy alone. God bless.

[look forward]

IrocAngel77 I feel for you I really do but I have to say that your ex sounds extremely immature and it concerns me that you are desperate to get him back after all he has put you through.. he has not stood by you but instead has forced you into an abortion that he knew you didn't want.. then ended your relationship but comes back now and again for sex.. he is having his cake and eating it girlfriend and its time you put a stop to it and got some self worth and respect..

 

I appreciate that you love this guy but even if you got back with him do you thnk your self esteem could take it? could you ever really trust his motives of being with you again??

 

My advise to you would be to distance yourself from this guy until you get your head together your so busy trying to please him that you have forgotten about the number one person here and thats you...

[evk]

Honey, do not walk...RUN!! This guy is NOT worth the pain and emotional abuse he is putting you through. This boy does not respect you or care about you and you deserve better.

 

Take some time to papmer yourself...have FUN...and forget him!!!

[Arabess]

he said he will still most likely come back to me but that as of now hes not sure of what he wants

 

The main problem IS....you are giving him all the options and responding like a doormat. No guy is worth giving up your self respect and self esteem for. Even if you DO get him back after working out his confusion....he will continue to treat you the way you LET him treat you. You are more valuable than that! No woman should sit and wait while a guy dates 'other people'.

 

If a guy did that to me....I would feel like he is keeping me as an option incase he couldn't find someone better.

 

Tell him not to speak to you until he's made up his mind. Where in here is he putting YOUR feelings in the equation? It's your place to demand your feelings be recognized and respected. If he can't do that....then he isn't worth waiting on.

 

Keep your chin up.....we've all been thru heartaches.....and got to the other side.

 

 

Arabess

[Tiger-Lily]

Hi

 

I must say I feel bad for that dude. He would surely regret messing with your head when he eventually comes out of his immature zone.

 

When and if he becomes a man, he would look back and miss you and totally retreat how he treated you. But the thing is, you would have already moved on with your life with someone who truly values you as a person and thinks the world of you.

 

Good Luck...