sally4sara Posted June 16, 2010 Share Posted June 16, 2010 Oh, they come back, but only when you want none of it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author melanie101 Posted June 16, 2010 Author Share Posted June 16, 2010 Thanks for the replies. Can I reiterate my last question? If he were to come back, how will I know if he is truly remorseful and his intentions are true? Link to post Share on other sites
Ilovecake Posted June 16, 2010 Share Posted June 16, 2010 There is no way of ever knowing for sure. Just like when you first got together, you had no idea it would end when it did. Listen to your gut and really pay attention to what you are feeling when he's talking to you. If it doesn’t feel right then it’s not. You also have to consider that he might feel one way in that moment and then freak out and change his mind the next. That seems to happen here a lot. People come back they stick around for a few days, a week, a month and then remember why it was they broke up with someone and they bail again. If you take someone back who already discarded you once you're taking a very big risk of getting hurt again. You have to make that decision for yourself. There is no right or wrong answer, if there were most people being faced with getting their love back aren't going to pay attention to that answer anyways. They’ll do what their heart tells them at that moment and let the chips fall where they may. No matter what concentrate on what it is you want and need not what he wants and needs. Link to post Share on other sites
Author melanie101 Posted June 21, 2010 Author Share Posted June 21, 2010 Hello all, Well, after almost 6 weeks of no contact, I just received a facebook message from him: "How are you? It's been a weird month." That's it. I don't know what to make of it. I kept my response very cordial and neutral. Almost as short as his. I didn't say I loved or missed him. Any thoughts? Link to post Share on other sites
LovelyDaze Posted June 21, 2010 Share Posted June 21, 2010 Hello all, Well, after almost 6 weeks of no contact, I just received a facebook message from him: "How are you? It's been a weird month." This is classic of the dumpee to keep you on your toes with a mild greeting. It's called "dangling carrots." The ex usually want to keep you as a backup plan in case they no longer like the current romantic situation they are in. Be mindful and be honest with yourself. Your heart wants to keep hope that your ex has a desire to return. That is normal. But your brain is aware that THIS person, at one point, NO LONGER wanted to be with you. Remember that. Don't encourage any further contact by responding to posts with additional questions about the breakup. I'd fully advise no contact unless your ex flat out asks if you two can talk things over because he realized he made a mistake and wants a real chance to fix what's broke. Anything short of that is a bowl full of BS with no cherries. Link to post Share on other sites
sotagoon Posted June 22, 2010 Share Posted June 22, 2010 Since I know a lot of people seem to be interested in reconciliation stories... of the couples I do know that did actually get back together SUCCESSFULLY, both the dumper and the dumpee genuinely tried to move on and came back together out of wanting to, not loneliness. And frankly, they didn't pick up where they left off but, instead, started fresh... if that makes sense. Melanie....I can tell you from experience....you won't really know for sure..about their intent. I have been through the ringer now (3) times.....yeah THREE! I thought the recon's were for the right reasons, but now it has started to dawn on me that it was always for a selfish reason...all for them. (her in my case.) If you like....my original thread.....and it goes on and on....... http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t214146/ I hope for your sake, you find a way to find your happiness, unlike me....still suffering and kinda trapped in my own hell! Link to post Share on other sites
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