Elmer Posted July 13, 2000 Share Posted July 13, 2000 My girlfriend has made it pretty clear after 5 years of being together that she missed out on a chance to be independent, and will probably want me to move out. As far as I can tell, my involvement in her life if this happens would be simply casual visits. We've had a great time together and are still close for the moment, but I'm not sure how far this independence kick will take us. For instance, does she wnat to be emotionally independent from me too? If that happens I doubt I'd be strong enough to wait for her to find out and would be off on the rebound even as a petty revenge or simply convincing myself that I'm worthy of her. Link to post Share on other sites
JT Posted July 13, 2000 Share Posted July 13, 2000 Dear Elmer: Since you "doubt" you'll be stong enough to wait for her, I'd say you don't WANT to wait for her. What does that tell you? She wants to be "independent"? Let her! Be glad and get over it. What she's really saying is "it's over". She's just such a chicken-butt, she doesn't have the guts to tell you how she really feels. Since you have doubts anyway, look at this as an opportunity to get out smelling like a rose. Chances are, she'll be back saying she didn't know how good it was until she left. Oh yeah, she'll be back. Let her go... Rebound, whatever... Link to post Share on other sites
Elmer Posted July 13, 2000 Share Posted July 13, 2000 Thanks JT, I have to say that it looks inevitable that we will separate. My doubts about the possibility of getting back together stems from the knowledge that she probably will be playing the field. Because I've played straight down the line as far as being faithful to her so far (she almost has, slight straying) it'd be more of me copping it sweet and she gets the best of both worlds. I know that isn't how it necessarily would be, but part of my way of coping is to assure myself that I'm not in the blame and that someone else will appreciate me. I think Jack Daniels can expect a shortage of stock in Australia soon. Link to post Share on other sites
JT Posted July 13, 2000 Share Posted July 13, 2000 Dear Elmer: If she plays the field (and has done so already), I'd urge you to get away and stay away from her. I don't necessarily believe "once a cheater always a cheater" but I wouldn't want to stay with someone who caused me pain by cheating on me, especially when I'm being faithful. Her actions tell me she doesn't really care because if she did she wouldn't jeopardize your relationship or your LIFE for that matter by playing the field. Although you may think she's getting the best of both worlds, think of what would happen if she brought something back and gave it to you! When a relationship is over, the blame is usually shared. She obviously does not appreciate you, but you are sure to find someone who does. That someone will be thrilled to have such and understanding, FAITHFUL guy like you. Tell Jack I said hi. Now go toast yourself a good one and look at this as a reason to celebrate, not drown. Best of luck to you. JT Link to post Share on other sites
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