Stuck!

[Gunny376]

Based upon my knowledge and experience were it me? I would

 

Get complete control of my emotions ~ just as you would need to do walking into a high profile courtroom. As an attorney you know that what you say, how you say it, how you sit, walk, use your arms and hands, i.e. body language ~ is just as important as as what you say and the counter points you make. Adolf Hitler was "schooled" in such ~ and a 'nothing' of a German Army Corporal for awhile became dictator of all of Europe.

 

Get and maintain control of your emotions ~ absolutely and completely. Maximum self control and self discipline is the order of the day.

 

The one that cares the least? Controls the relationship. Completely and absolutely disengage yourself from her and the marriage. Become indifferent as to what she does, where she goes, who she goes with, who she's talking to, how long she's gone.

 

Go about your business ~ handle your business, get busy meeting your wants, needs and pursuing your happiness and quit being a supplicating, subject gating shell of a man.

 

Whether the one woman comes, stays or go's ~ matters not. If she leaves, divorces you? There's no shortage of other woman who have just as much to give and offer you if not more?

 

For God Sake man! Your thirty-one damn years old, the prime of your youth, your prime p****-gettin' years. Your still young enough to date college co-ed and grad students for Christmas sake~ Not only that you past the apprentice stage of your professional grade level job. You may or may not have fully mastered it yet ~ but you long past being a green horn rookie?

 

I can damn guarantee you this for sure and certain! Better to go through all of this at 31 than to invest another ten years or so and then go through it.

 

Personally were it me? I divorce her azz so quick it would make her head spin. I personally having gone through it once ~ don't play these BS games. Either a woman wants to be with me? Or she doesn't. A woman shows me the least bit of disinterest? She's history. And I mean for good.

 

I've got more to offer most women than most women have to offer me. No brag ~ just fact. I'm single and live alone ~ because I choose and prefer it that way. Women have only two things to offer me? Companionship and sex.

 

I personally don't need the drama, the daily "64 question" routine. (Where you've been, what have you been doing, who have you been doing it with)

 

What one woman will abuse and take for granted? Another can certainly use.

 

Women come, and women go ~ there's no one monkey that make the show.

 

Personally were it me? I'd move out and aside from the kids? She would begin to think I'd fallen off of the planet.

 

In so far as she goes ~ along with the in-laws? (What the difference between in-laws and outlaws? Outlaws know their wanted! ) I could give a good happy damn about what their opinions are, what they say or do, where they go and do and who they would do it with.

 

Life is just to freaking short to spend it the way your living it.

 

Personally I think she's "bitch-testing" you (and your going to go through this periodically with almost and any woman you get with) and your failing miserably.

 

Were it me? I would be the one determining whether this marriage would continue, and I would have to see her put forth some sort of effort before I would even consider going forward.

[skywriter]

WhyHope,

 

Gunny's last post , made some very good points.All of which echoed points made in previous post by various posters.

 

I realise that I have said this before, but I will repeat it, you are trying from the way your post read. Even when you've fallen short on some of your efforts, you've admitted doing so.

 

Quite frankly, no one is perfect. It takes time to change, and moreso, a willingness to do so.

 

Without communication on both parties, not playing games with one anothers emotions, you have notta.

 

I just wish that your W, could read all the things you wrote in one of your earlier post about all the positive things you wrote about your relationship.

[WhyHope]

GUNNY: Thanx for tough love - needed that. Listen, I am definitely not a bad looking fella 6'1", 180, tall dark and handsome. hahahaha I have no shortage in admirers I guess. That's not the point. If you saw from my earlier post - I am stubborn. and I do have two wonderful kids. I am not from a broken home (my Mom stuck with my dad through thick and thin - she left him once, but came back; fights and so on. Right now they are genially happy. He was in the law enforcement, so you can imagine what type of crap she had to deal with. He was injured (3 months in a coma) 10 years ago in a line of duty. Since his recovery - their marriage, according to them, has been nothing but a bliss.) I WANT THAT TOO! I WANT THE TURBULENCE AND THE GOOD TIMES!

In late September (we started this crap in the middle of October) - we went for a short vacation (24 hours). Man, that was the best time of my life!!! Talked, ate, sexxed up. and most of all - laughed to tears on the way back. She is hurt and dumbfounded (I think) by my accusations and inability to step aside. I have completely FORGOTTEN who I am.

 

As for emotions - you are right - in the courtroom or anywhere else - I am a master of controlling them. On the other hand, by USING them, I do perform better and achieve better results at work. In M... man, I suck at controlling them. I have gotten better though, a lot better!!! (Now, remind you, she is deathly calm, usually). Contrast that!

 

I will NOT be able to kick her to the curb. I am sure of that, after 8 months of this BS.

 

I need to change myself, may be then I will look at this differently?! ((See my later post about today's talk with her - yes, I did fail at LC, AGAIN)

[WhyHope]

WhyHope,

 

Gunny's last post , made some very good points.All of which echoed points made in previous post by various posters.

 

I realise that I have said this before, but I will repeat it, you are trying from the way your post read. Even when you've fallen short on some of your efforts, you've admitted doing so.

 

Quite frankly, no one is perfect. It takes time to change, and moreso, a willingness to do so.

 

Without communication on both parties, not playing games with one anothers emotions, you have notta.

 

I just wish that your W, could read all the things you wrote in one of your earlier post about all the positive things you wrote about your relationship.

 

 

I think I am more than trying. I am PUSHING her away. Prime example, I called her today, and went into the whole R talk. I stayed calm throughout the conversation and avoided apologies and "I love yous". I did use please a couple of times. Begged? May be.

 

Main points from my end:

 

- U r the one deserting the family

- Give me credit at least for trying to save it

- Separation is not a way to fix this

- Pushing you is not the way to fix it

- I want a chance to make this family work

 

Her main points:

 

- I am done

- Have nothing left for you

- You will not move out (I NEVER said that I won't)

- U had your chances

- KEY: I have NO other choice but to try to make it work.

 

Ok, flame away. I know I screwed up. But the conversation overall was not bad. She actually did listen and talk. Even though, she does not have to (and trust me - she can ignore with the best of them)

[txsilkysmoothe]

I think you are driving her f***ing crazy and she has to get away from you. The question is "will she get away from you temporarily or permanently?"

 

I think the answer is totally up to you. Leave her alone for awhile. Concentrate on being a father and building your business.

 

From your original post, I noted her accusation that you drink too much. Do you? If so, what do you plan on doing about it?

 

Also, this interaction with another woman, during the middle of a bunch of other BS, would really hurt me and it probably did her also.

 

Just someone II met (or did she meet me?) at an event about 4 months ago. She was very flirty (I guess I was myself - too cool for school (DAMN IT! Why CAN'T I BE LIKE THAT WITH MY W?!) We called and texted each other for a couple of weeks. Wife overheard me talking to her when I got home (we talked for good 2 hours). There was nothing. One lunch afterward; I did not feel like having any type of a relationship w her - she wanted one thing and that's not what I envisioned.

 

You have to look at your behavior from her point of view, whether she is right or wrong. She thinks you drink too much, you're not carrying your half of the financial burden, you fight with her in front of the kids, the kids are upset and verbalizing it, you constantly accuse her of cheating, and you start "something" with another woman - give another woman your phone number, have a two hour phone conversation in your home in front of wife and kids?, go to lunch with OW, INSTEAD of realizing your marriage is in trouble and doing something about it.

[txsilkysmoothe]

Her main points:

 

- I am done

- Have nothing left for you

- You will not move out (I NEVER said that I won't)

- U had your chances

- KEY: I have NO other choice but to try to make it work.

 

Translation:

I'm too weary to think about it anymore, much less live it. I have no energy to give to what seems impossible to resolve. I tried to tell you but you wouldn't hear me. I thought some time apart would help but now it seems divorce is inevitable. I'm worried about the kids living in a home where their parents are always fighting. It isn't healthy for any of us.

 

Give her time and space. Don't have sex with her. For her to realize she wants you back, she has to miss the good parts, if there were any. She also has to know that getting back together means she will have the good parts, not the BS. You need to work on your own life.

[WhyHope]

Translation:

I'm too weary to think about it anymore, much less live it. I have no energy to give to what seems impossible to resolve. I tried to tell you but you wouldn't hear me. I thought some time apart would help but now it seems divorce is inevitable. I'm worried about the kids living in a home where their parents are always fighting. It isn't healthy for any of us.

 

Give her time and space. Don't have sex with her. For her to realize she wants you back, she has to miss the good parts, if there were any. She also has to know that getting back together means she will have the good parts, not the BS. You need to work on your own life.

 

 

That is almost like a cold shower on a hot day. I appreciate it. Thats exactly what I need.

 

I will not move out. I will continue to work on myself. Other woman? Again, there was nothing - at least from my side. But I do see your point. And you are right - she is f@@@@ing tired of me nagging her and begging her. Time to show her with actions that I am changing. First order of business is to stop asking her stupid stuff. and limit contact ()

[WhyHope]

Reread my posts. Man, it sure seems like I do have a cavalier attitude. I "flipped" again today. Was filled w jealousy. Went out to check up on her. She suspected smth - but nothing concrete. At least I did not "confront" her with BS (smth that can easily be nothing, but can only turn into nothing if I confront her, but by that time the damage would be done)... Why can't I just keep myself in check?!

[Gunny376]

I guess when you were attending law school they didn't cover the 'law of attraction"

 

That is to say people want what other people want ~ which is not to deliberately to go out and attempt to make her jealous ~ nor to engage with other women in other than a business context.

 

I've been a member of LS since oh 2004? Before that and before the Internet I scoured the book stores and library looking up and reading up on subjects related to dating, mating, relationships. marriage, cross gender communication, body language etc.

 

I can tell you this. Your not thinking properly and everything that your doing? Is just driving her further and further away. The harder you pursue her the faster she's going to run away. The harder you pressure her ~ the further you drive her away.

 

She wants you to move out because your driving up up the wall and nuts with your insistent questioning about her, what she's doing, who she's doing it with, and about the status of the relationship.

 

You need to move out and "find yourself" and find "your center" You need to get over this really bad case of "one-itiss" that you have over this woman.

 

Granted she's your wife, and the Mother of your children. But until you can get your act together? You've got zero chance with her.

 

 

 

Originally posted by txsilkysmoothe

 

"Translation: "I'm too weary to think about it anymore, much less live it. I have no energy to give to what seems impossible to resolve. I tried to tell you but you wouldn't hear me. I thought some time apart would help but now it seems divorce is inevitable. I'm worried about the kids living in a home where their parents are always fighting. It isn't healthy for any of us."

 

txsilkysmoothe is telling you the truth. She's broken it down to you ~ as only a woman could and can.

 

Men's and women's minds are literally wired differently in that women have twice the cross neural connections between the two lobes of the brain than men do.

 

Women half 10,000 more olfactory nerves in their noses than men ~ which is why the sense of smell is so important to them.

 

Women pay more attention to detail ~ have you ever noticed how much larger women's eye are than men's?

 

Women typically use between four to six thousands words a day compared to men's typical three to six thousand. (You're being a attorney ~ makes you the exception)

 

Give her time and space. Don't have sex with her. For her to realize she wants you back, she has to miss the good parts, if there were any. She also has to know that getting back together means she will have the good parts, not the BS. You need to work on your own life.

 

You need to understand the difference between being an Alpha male and a Beta Male ~ which is not to say that your not an Alpha male ~ you are in your work life. But your acting very Beta in your home life ~ and that is so unattractive.

 

And txsilkysmoothe is right! You need to give her the gift of "missing you"

And she can't do that when your up underneath her right now.

 

You were a heavy drinker because you've always been the so-called "life of the party"

 

BS ~ you've got issues my friend ~ and you've been masking them with alcohol. For all the days of your life since you've taken your first drink.

 

And it matters not whether you think your drinking is out of control ~ it only matters that she does. For some that may be one can of beer ~ for others? That may be two.

 

- I am done

- Have nothing left for you

- You will not move out (I NEVER said that I won't)

- U had your chances

- KEY: I have NO other choice but to try to make it work.

 

Most women typically communicate through "in-direct" communication methods ~ about 95% + being non-verbal ~ thus women's intuition.

 

Men communicate through direct communication ~ "Say what you mean and mean what you say"

 

Getting back to college speech class 101 ~ there's imply and infer. What you said is what you implied ~ what the other party heard? Is what they inferred?

 

Come on your attorney! You know all this crap already ~ you work with it and deal with it every single freaking day!

 

The problem with your marriage is this:

 

Over the course of your relationship you and she have worked too damned hard to achieve too damn much in too damn little time.

 

She busted her @zz to get the two of you through law school, she's become the major bread winner in doing so. Meanwhile you had two children and all that comes with that?

 

Now your out of law school, she's still the major breadwinner ~ the "payoff" of law school simply isn't there? (And won't be ~ it will take a decade or more to build your practice and earn you reputation)

 

Meanwhile your talking with other women outside of work, on the phone in front of her and the children in her home. (Why don't you just go and slap her in the face or piss on her leg and convince her its raining.)

 

Women psychologically ~ dictates that they stake out ownership of themselves and all that encompasses their world and reality.

 

Thus its not our ~ but my house, my children, my marriage, my husband.

 

And I'm not speaking about being selfish here? I'm speaking about the interrelationships, perceptions, rivalry that women have with other women.

 

The fact of the matter dispite your advanced level of education? Nothing has ever prepared you nor taught you how to be married nor to interact with a woman. And its much, much more than being 6'1" and 180 lbs, and being a potential 'cash cow" of a husband.

 

Time to quit being a fool and get back into school.

 

Suggested readings:

 

"Why Men Don't Have A Clue And Women Need Another Pair of Shoes!"

 

"Light Her Fire"

 

"How Can We Light A Fire When The Kids Are Driving Us Crazy!"

 

"Secrets of the Alpha Male" an e-book you would have to purchase off the internet.

 

"The Dating Blackbook" another e-book

 

Books about body language ~ (you could use that one just in your legal profession)

 

Cross-gender communication ~ "You Just Don't Understand" ~ "GenderSpeak"

 

In the six years I've been on LS ~ I've only seen less than five happy reconcillations. (Actually its only been one or two)

 

The latest and greatest was tnttim. He read a bunch of e-books off of the internet ~ and so when you get 70 or 80 + post under your belt you might want to PM him (I PM'd him to ask that he look at your thread)

[Windsurf66]

That's what I honestly do not see. And I still do not think that she is having an affair. I feel its more of my "twisted" mind badgering her into NOT showing me the phone and hiding things from me. I have to accept that she is independent. I have to end my dependency on her

 

Why is there a need for her to hide things from you? It will only worsen your suspicions and comes around in a vicious circle. She hides, you are more suspicious, you check more, she hides more....

[Windsurf66]

 

Her main points:

 

- I am done

- Have nothing left for you

- You will not move out (I NEVER said that I won't)

- U had your chances

- KEY: I have NO other choice but to try to make it work.

 

 

if she is done with the marriage, why aren't she filing for divorce? Waiting for a better opportunity to dump you? Or to accuse you of abandonment after she convinces you to move out.

[WhyHope]

Why is there a need for her to hide things from you? It will only worsen your suspicions and comes around in a vicious circle. She hides, you are more suspicious, you check more, she hides more....

 

 

...and that's exactly what my dilemma is.

[WhyHope]

if she is done with the marriage, why aren't she filing for divorce? Waiting for a better opportunity to dump you? Or to accuse you of abandonment after she convinces you to move out.

 

 

Abandonment will not work or apply. I have NO idea why. Trying to let me go down easy??? She knows that its not going to be an easy thing. Some of the things that she has said in the past are: "I would have ended it a long time ago, I just was afraid of your reaction." (WTF?)

[WhyHope]

GUNNY:

 

Thank you. Sux that it has only been 5 or 6 happy endings. Why do you think the number is that low?

 

From the beginning of this argument, she "insisted" that "we will be ok. that everything will be good". That insistence, as you can imagine, went away.

 

As for me being Alpha and Beta. You are totally right. At home, what she says goes. Not because I don't care, but because I feel that if I give in, she will get what she wants thus be happier. From day one. I am an easy guy to please (aren't we all???), therefore I always went along with what she suggested. Tried not to argue too much if it wasn't important (i.e. when kids go to bed, what time we should drop them off at daycare...) Do I change that now?

 

Last night was bad. She said that she went running. I drove by. Her car wasn't there. "I went to the gym first and then to the high school track"... I did not confront. Just kinda asked. still...

 

Feel weak.

[trippi1432]

As for me being Alpha and Beta. You are totally right. At home, what she says goes. Not because I don't care, but because I feel that if I give in, she will get what she wants thus be happier. From day one. I am an easy guy to please (aren't we all???), therefore I always went along with what she suggested. Tried not to argue too much if it wasn't important (i.e. when kids go to bed, what time we should drop them off at daycare...) Do I change that now?

 

So, in essence you are saying that you are wife's 3rd kid in the house? See, in my home, I became the major breadwinner too....my STBXH made a bunch of financial mistakes with his paychecks and decided he didn't want the responsibility anymore....gave everything over to me to pay all the bills. I then became the "Parent" to my husband....when he didn't get what he wanted, he became no better than our 10 year old son at the time throwing a temper tantrum...and yes, this is what a man looks like in a woman's eyes when he does that. Another thing it does, when the wife makes more money, (not that it is the wife's fault in many cases), the man loses his self-esteem.....see's himself as the Beta in the relationship.

 

Do you change that now, what voice you take on in the relationship....it depends.....is your marriage worth arguing over what time the kids go to bed or when they get picked up at the daycare....not really....those are just picking fights to have them.

 

"I'm an easy guy to please (aren't we all??)" - You should have lived with my STBXH, he had OCD and was a blackout drunk that the "Life of the Party"....to you, that might be alright. To your wife, you are not that same person you think you see in the mirror everyday.

 

GUNNY: Thanx for tough love - needed that. Listen, I am definitely not a bad looking fella 6'1", 180, tall dark and handsome. hahahaha I have no shortage in admirers I guess. That's not the point. If you saw from my earlier post - I am stubborn. and I do have two wonderful kids. I am not from a broken home (my Mom stuck with my dad through thick and thin - she left him once, but came back; fights and so on. Right now they are genially happy. He was in the law enforcement, so you can imagine what type of crap she had to deal with. He was injured (3 months in a coma) 10 years ago in a line of duty. Since his recovery - their marriage, according to them, has been nothing but a bliss.) I WANT THAT TOO! I WANT THE TURBULENCE AND THE GOOD TIMES!

In late September (we started this crap in the middle of October) - we went for a short vacation (24 hours). Man, that was the best time of my life!!! Talked, ate, sexxed up. and most of all - laughed to tears on the way back. She is hurt and dumbfounded (I think) by my accusations and inability to step aside. I have completely FORGOTTEN who I am.

 

As for emotions - you are right - in the courtroom or anywhere else - I am a master of controlling them. On the other hand, by USING them, I do perform better and achieve better results at work. In M... man, I suck at controlling them. I have gotten better though, a lot better!!! (Now, remind you, she is deathly calm, usually). Contrast that!

 

I will NOT be able to kick her to the curb. I am sure of that, after 8 months of this BS.

 

I need to change myself, may be then I will look at this differently?! ((See my later post about today's talk with her - yes, I did fail at LC, AGAIN)

 

1. You need to stop being ego-centric about your looks....you, yourself said she is a knock-out as well. If that is how you truly feel, then go on out and find you a new GF, schedule visits with the kids and get on with your life and let her get on with hers. Looks are fleeting and how the both of you look at 31 may not be how you will look at 41 or 51....

 

2. You do not do well at home with your emotions because as soon as you walk in that house, you become a "child" and you put her in the position of being the "Parent". Women hate that and see you as weak. There needs to be mutual respect in your marriage along with mutual responsibility. You need to get over the fact that she is the breadwinner right now while you are building your practice.....this is what is making you so insecure.

 

I think I am more than trying. I am PUSHING her away. Prime example, I called her today, and went into the whole R talk. I stayed calm throughout the conversation and avoided apologies and "I love yous". I did use please a couple of times. Begged? May be.

 

Main points from my end:

 

- U r the one deserting the family

- Give me credit at least for trying to save it

- Separation is not a way to fix this

- Pushing you is not the way to fix it

- I want a chance to make this family work

 

Her main points:

 

- I am done

- Have nothing left for you

- You will not move out (I NEVER said that I won't)

- U had your chances

- KEY: I have NO other choice but to try to make it work.

 

Ok, flame away. I know I screwed up. But the conversation overall was not bad. She actually did listen and talk. Even though, she does not have to (and trust me - she can ignore with the best of them)

 

Yes, you are pushing her away....again, because she doesn't truly know why you want to make this work other than your insecurity

 

 

That's what I honestly do not see. And I still do not think that she is having an affair. I feel its more of my "twisted" mind badgering her into NOT showing me the phone and hiding things from me. I have to accept that she is independent. I have to end my dependency on her

 

That is the about the wisest thing you have said so far.....just open up your web browser to Google and pop the word Codependent into it....look at the plethora of information on there and see where you stand on ending your dependency on your wife. A marriage should be an equal partnership and yes, each should rely on the other...but they should be able to stand alone if need be as well.

[WhyHope]

Trippi:

 

As much as it pains me to admit, you are right. And I have realized that some time ago.

 

What I can do to change that:

 

1. Stop calling her and consulting with her about every decision that I have to make which involves our family - I am a parent too god damn it, and a pretty responsible one.

 

2. LC - I think that will go along way in establishing that I am not as emotionally dependent on her as I am.

 

3. $ - bust my butt more. Hopefully it will come

 

What do you think I can do???

 

(All of this is on top of the things that I am changing about myself as it is)

[WhyHope]

Man, I do have a crapload of things to change about myself. May be she is right? May be I am the worst thing for her?

[skywriter]

Well, WhyHope, it seems you've come across some very insightful folks here at LS.

 

They've opened your eyes to alot about your situation.

 

You now have a direction in which to focus. If your W hasn't already made up her mind and if she still has love in her heart for you, maybe you can turn this situation around.

[WhyHope]

Well, WhyHope, it seems you've come across some very insightful folks here at LS.

 

They've opened your eyes to alot about your situation.

 

You now have a direction in which to focus. If your W hasn't already made up her mind and if she still has love in her heart for you, maybe you can turn this situation around.

 

 

Thank you. I truly think that she does have love for me. It is totally up to me to show her that I am changing. Off to do that!

[WhyHope]

Not a bad day overall. Did not call her or text her. Will see what the evening brings...

[trippi1432]

WhyHope,

 

Something else that you might want to look at here......

 

A lot of good information that you could both probably use.

[WhyHope]

WhyHope,

 

Something else that you might want to look at here......

 

A lot of good information that you could both probably use.

Thank you. I will read it.

 

Please see my question from above. What do you think?

[trippi1432]

Trippi:

 

As much as it pains me to admit, you are right. And I have realized that some time ago.

 

What I can do to change that:

 

1. Stop calling her and consulting with her about every decision that I have to make which involves our family - I am a parent too god damn it, and a pretty responsible one.

 

2. LC - I think that will go along way in establishing that I am not as emotionally dependent on her as I am.

 

3. $ - bust my butt more. Hopefully it will come

 

What do you think I can do???

 

(All of this is on top of the things that I am changing about myself as it is)

 

WhyHope - that's not up to me to answer, you have to find out what would make you and your wife happiest in your marriage. You might do all those things but they may mean a hill of beans to her. Go to here and take the assessment....at least learn something about yourself.

 

I highly suggest the readings too.

[tojaz]

I am not. I am just a Husband who is devastated. Why do u think I have been asking the questions? To hopefully reason with her that she is wrong. I got it now - she will think whatever she thinks. There is nothing that I can do about that at this moment. I can not "win" this with words. I must prove by acting the right way.

 

I kinda took offense to the "faceless" client comment. I don't treat them as faceless..

 

Wasn't concerned about your clients man. I meant to not treat your wife like one. I see in your posts a lot of back and forth between you and her, but not much real communication. She makes her requests and defends her side and you do the same. Its a stalemate.

 

Going through this, it is everybodys instinct to "win" but that is not the goal, nor should it ever be in marriage. Rather then defending your position, sit down and listen to hers, and really listen and try to understand without saying anything in rebuttal. Let her know shes being heard and respect her right to feel that way rather then trying to change her mind.

 

Man, I do have a crapload of things to change about myself. May be she is right? May be I am the worst thing for her?

 

We all have a crapload of things to change about ourselves, theres always something we can improve on, do better etc, but do you seriously think your the worst thing for her? Sheesh man, cut your self some slack! In a break up, separation, divorce. Both parties carry their part, but they should only carry their part. I spent an awful lot of time looking at the things i should change, but i also came to see that a lot of things my former soulmate accused me of where 100% BS. In the end, regardless of what you think you did wrong, unless you hit her, cheated on her, etc. There are much worse men in the world, and she is the one that decided to shift out rather then face those things head on.

 

Take stock, own whats yours, and lay the rest at her feet.

 

 

TOJAZ

[Windsurf66]

Abandonment will not work or apply. I have NO idea why. Trying to let me go down easy??? She knows that its not going to be an easy thing. Some of the things that she has said in the past are: "I would have ended it a long time ago, I just was afraid of your reaction." (WTF?)

 

You mentioned before that she was afraid that you will ruin her financially if divorce? That ties in with "....afraid of your reaction". I think she might be planning for a divorce and will execute it when the time is right. Some women decided to end the marriage years ago, and do alot of planning before dropping the real bomb.