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All I really want are the kids...(long)


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We are separating after 14 years, and have a ten-year-old son and seven-year-old daughter. Things are not amicable. In Florida, the law says mothers and fathers have equal rights to equal visitaion...I am not sure of the precise wording.

 

I have had part-time jobs, currently around the kids' school schedule, while being nagged to get a full-time job by STBX even though we don't really need the money.

 

He has always resented having to work, since when we married, he expected to be "Mr. Mom" because I was a medical resident at the time, and didn't realize that as soon as my kids were born I would not emotionally be able to be away from them in a full-time medical practice.

 

For one year, he was "Mr. Mom", and in my opinion, not a very good one. He doesn't "connect" with them, or really meet their needs other than at a "babysitting" level. He loves them of course...he is just too self-absorbed to be a good parent.

 

There are great dads who put moms to shame as parents. I believe that those dads do deserve the same rights as moms to have more than the traditional "every-other-weekend-and alternate-holidays" thing for visitation.

 

My STBX, though, says he will get 50/50 because it is the law. Period. My friend, the family law attorney, who I have not yet hired, says some judges are partial to moms still.

 

I don't care about the house or anything else. I know the child support is something owed to the kids by both parents, so I don't see that as a financial windfall, and if it was legal (which I don't think it is) I would waive any payment of child support to me (and put it in a college trust or whatever) just to have the majority of custody.

 

What experiences do you have with this?

 

Thanks so much

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GinaC I am a man also going through a divorce. My soon to be x is better with the kids than i am, but does that mean that i love them any less. I really am doing the best i can and the kids can tell. I will take care of them 50/50 one is 11 other 17. if he means it he will be ok.:)

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