He likes her, she likes me and i like her.

[NewRadical]

I'll start off by saying... this one... is complicated.

 

I'll try and keep it as simple as possible. A few months ago, on valentines day, one of my friends (a girl called Elizabeth) sent a valentines day card to my housemate Andrew. So me and my friends thought it was cute and decided to set them up. We all hang out quite regularly so we got them together in no time. They went out on a few dates and kissed on her birthday, which was lovely.

 

After a few days though, she realised the spark wasn't there, and came to talk to me, explaining how she was worried how she felt like Andrew may like her a bit too much and tried to make it clear that she wasn't really serious, but did like him, he was just too intense. She decided she wanted to let him down gently and so, to make it easy on him, we all had our little conversations to try and let him down.

 

So a few days pass and we're at a party, her and my other housemate Ted go for a long talk. Now... here's were a bit of backstory is needed, Ted and Elizabeth used to hang out all the time and he even liked her at one stage, something which we have not revealed to Andrew, so they talked about that.

 

After they were finished i asked where she was and she said 'we need to talk'. She sat down, we talked for a bit about how crazy it was that she went out with Andrew and Ted used to like her, and then she revealed to me that she likes me. We have incredible chemistry, it's true, but i never thought she liked me in that way. I had no idea what to do so, at the time, i said i thought we should all just be friends. After a few weeks of thinking and talking to her and Ted (Andrew still doesn't know) i realised i do like her back, but i don't want to do anything to hurt Andrew. I like her, she likes me, and he likes her. A love triangle, or square, or... something like that. Simple.

[hpblah]

Wow, that is very complicated, IMO, I don't understand this girls motive, I mean shes going from one to the next... It's a little odd, don't you think? No offence intended; whose to say once she has you she won't be moving straight on to the next guy?

 

You seem to be stepping on very dangerous territory, especially because your friends involved, speak to the girl, get to know her more, but before you jump into anything you guys should explain everything to Andrew and see how he feels, honesty is always the best thing in the long term.

 

Best of luck

Edited June 16, 2010 by hpblah

[Teflon]

I'd go with the "spend more time with her" approach too. Granted, my record of burnt bridges and friendships will soon appear in some book of world's stupidest records but still, imo it's the right thing to do here.

 

However, there are degrees of honesty. There is NOTHING that prevents you from spending some time with this girl, you know, maybe casually hang out, maybe watch a movie or something at your place, maybe wake up next morning to a dazzling smile from the pillow next to yours, who knows, my point is that this is a volatile situation where practically anything can happen.

 

I know the reasonable advice here would be to make sure that she first deals with any other entanglements before you two take a shot at this, whatever this thing is, but in real world "reasonable" somehow never seems to be that high on people's list of priorities.

 

So yeah, all I can really say is - prepare for some crazy @ss stuff. Once again, not the best of advice but in a situation as complicated as this, that's all you can do really. You can burn yourself out by overobsessing about this but hey, why obsess, it's already crazy, now the best you can do is surf the waves of this disaster. But whatever you do, make sure you are prepared to see it through and the consequences this thing might cause in your immediate vicinity.

 

And yes, I am very bad at giving advice so, umm, well, I hope you get what you want from this thing.