totally commitment phobic or what!

[michelle1]

hey all! i have a new thing that i just realized bout. that i am really commitment phobic here and even went to purchase a cell phone and when it came time to sign a year contract i bulked at the idea and could not do it! there are many other instances that i am realizing that i am that way about, for instance when i want to buy something, oh say a vcr i have to compare and shop for the best deal to the point that i lose interest in even wanting one anymore, but if i do buy one then i am fear i made a mistake and could have put the money to better use even if i have the money and that is not even an issue. sometimes i don't want to even fill up my gas tank! i run maybe 3-5 dollars in it and that is all cause i'm afraid to spend the money! or i feel so bad when i buy something too! is this all commitment phobia or what, gag like ya know?

[lostforwords]

oh totally like with a spoon...(flashes back to the 80's) LOL.... seriously tho.... you sound somewhat like myself.... or at least how i used to be.... it would just about kill me to spend money on stuff.... i was always scared of not having money left over after i would purchase something when really i didnt need to be like that..... or im always buying my kids something before myself..... its a very hard habit to break.... and when i do spend money on myself.... its not a huge amount.... or i get the cheapest for myself.... this i have been trying to change as of recently as well... i think we just have ourselves convinced that the money could go to better use however most times it usually doesnt LOL.

[silk_sword]

u have left phobia and entered into obsessive. my goodness. i mean really. well u obviously need to change this. it's psychological. i don't even want to know how it is for u to attempt relationships. wow! must likely, u developed a disorder that is now preventing u from going about your daily activities. i mean it seems like a defense mechanism. r u really that worried about mistakes? or is this solely about money and things u purchase? all i know is that u need to stop the paranoia. the only way to move on with your life is to stop this cycle. to find out how, u may need to seek help. this one may be a lot deeper than u think. i hope things turn out well for u. good luck and find someone who can take u through this. u deserve better than to consistently suffer through something like this.

[michelle1]

yowser them some harsh ol words there silk but maybe closer to the truth then i think or want to admit. this does occupy my whole life, pardon the thought if that is what you think, just when it is necessary to do something then it happens, so thankfully it is not a daily routine , well maybe it is. it is not so much about spending the money as it is about decision making and keeping to those decisions, i can live with or without the money it wont break me, believe me or i would not go there even because i have a fairly good grip on my finances and my expenditure available to me. it is mainly the decision making and yes i have the same problem in relationships! always never not sure of what to do in one, whether to stay, leave, flow, what ever the dig is. i would not call it obsessive or compulsive but maybe just stuck somewhere between what i want and dont want, what i have and don't have, nah maybe that does not sound right either, anyway i'm just throwing things out there trying to figure myself out. hey both of you thank you for the help!

[silk_sword]

i'm sorry if i came across harshly. i didn't mean to be cruel or imply anything bad. when i said obsessive, i wasn't referring to obsessive compulsive. i mean obsessive in your mind. u seem to be obsessing about your decisions (afraid to take risks in fear of making too many mistakes). if this just had to do with finances, then it would be understandable. people should worry about and take care of their money. however, my thought was that this expands onto all parts of your life (which u admited did). this probably derives from a fear within u. see the only thing wrong with being too cautious is that u don't truly live. u r always in fear. that isn't right. i mean, how much can u enjoy or experience in this state? it justs seems unfair that u have to live this way. that is y i said u should perhaps seek help. people don't realize that simple behaviors such as these occur because of something in your past or the way u currently think. when u solve the problem in your head, this will no longer be an issue. when it is no longer an issue, then u can move on and not have to worry about this. obviously u r worrying about it too. i mean u did bring it up. all in all, i just hope u can resolve this. sorry again if i came across too bold. (apologies)