jean-luc sisko Posted June 16, 2010 Share Posted June 16, 2010 Why "make" friends when it's largely about luck anyhow? Link to post Share on other sites
lovingone Posted June 17, 2010 Share Posted June 17, 2010 Are you someone that makes friends easily? If not it may seem like some people are lucky. But they are probably the people that size up a room at a party or take note of their coworkers interests and quirks. I think it stops being luck when we are teens. By then we have set personalities and aren't just going to get together with anyone , especially if we have other friends, because compatibility is important Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted June 17, 2010 Share Posted June 17, 2010 make friends is a turn of phrase... It's like making a cake. You have all the ingredients but putting them all together and getting something nice out of them takes a certain amount of skill, effort and willingness. Friendship is like a garden. You have to care for it to get the best blooms, but you still get weeds, if you're not diligent. Are you a baker or a gardener? I think you have problems with interaction, don't you? Link to post Share on other sites
Author jean-luc sisko Posted June 17, 2010 Author Share Posted June 17, 2010 No, it's luck. Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted June 17, 2010 Share Posted June 17, 2010 Oh ok. Well. good luck then. you're going to need it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author jean-luc sisko Posted June 17, 2010 Author Share Posted June 17, 2010 Oh ok. Well. good luck then. you're going to need it. It is luck. There is no other reason for it. Link to post Share on other sites
romango Posted June 18, 2010 Share Posted June 18, 2010 It is luck. There is no other reason for it. My guess is that you're very unlucky. Link to post Share on other sites
Author jean-luc sisko Posted June 18, 2010 Author Share Posted June 18, 2010 My guess is that you're very unlucky. How is that related to the topic? Life is about luck, duh who doesn't know that? Link to post Share on other sites
Author jean-luc sisko Posted June 18, 2010 Author Share Posted June 18, 2010 Are you someone that makes friends easily? If not it may seem like some people are lucky. But they are probably the people that size up a room at a party or take note of their coworkers interests and quirks. I think it stops being luck when we are teens. By then we have set personalities and aren't just going to get together with anyone , especially if we have other friends, because compatibility is important No, it's always luck. And most persons beyond the teens still have the same criteria of association. Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted June 18, 2010 Share Posted June 18, 2010 The jokey definition is this: "A Friend helps you move house. A really good friend helps you move the body." How many good friends do you have, jean? If you had to move house, how many friends can you call on to help you do that? How many friends do you have that you could call on at two am and tell them you need their help? Please, just answer the questions directly instead of prevaricating, or answering them with other questions, or avoiding them altogethjer. Link to post Share on other sites
Author jean-luc sisko Posted June 18, 2010 Author Share Posted June 18, 2010 The jokey definition is this: "A Friend helps you move house. A really good friend helps you move the body." How many good friends do you have, jean? If you had to move house, how many friends can you call on to help you do that? How many friends do you have that you could call on at two am and tell them you need their help? Please, just answer the questions directly instead of prevaricating, or answering them with other questions, or avoiding them altogethjer. Move house? As I said, friendship is about luck. Link to post Share on other sites
Malenfant Posted June 18, 2010 Share Posted June 18, 2010 friendship is about luck. no, it isnt Link to post Share on other sites
Author jean-luc sisko Posted June 18, 2010 Author Share Posted June 18, 2010 no, it isnt Care to explain why? Link to post Share on other sites
Malenfant Posted June 18, 2010 Share Posted June 18, 2010 Care to explain why? in your own words Why should I? Link to post Share on other sites
Author jean-luc sisko Posted June 19, 2010 Author Share Posted June 19, 2010 What does that thread have to do with this one? Link to post Share on other sites
beerman101 Posted June 24, 2010 Share Posted June 24, 2010 Once you get out of college making friends is partly luck. Some people seem to make friends easily b.c they have a nack for it or people are drawn to them . Even then it can be luck to go from acquaintance to friend to strong friendship. One of my very good friends I was an acquaintance with thru school and I happen to mention I had this video game. He was looking all over for it and I said sure man i'll just copy it. We become very close friends over time,it was chance. One my friends who seem to click with people easily he makes some new friends. His very strong friendship were from childhood. Many friendships are made by chance, we can definitively be proactive in meeting new people and thus increasing are chances of clicking with someone. Go to clubs,be talkative,have a positive mindset,etc. It can be hard to break in to someone friends group. Friends move and lose contact after time,get married,etc. I learned recently that we have to work on our bond with people sometimes,just a simple call every now and again to keep the friendship strong. My mom is a friendly out going person,joined clubs,etc but she only really meet acquaintances. I'm somewhat shy and to myself but I am very nice dude and can be talkative,I only made one really new good friend. It was by chance b.c he was hanging out with some other dude I know. I also notice many people can be shady or just have some angle,its tricky b.c with certain people we really can't be too friendly. Others mean well but bring too much drama. You can't just sit around and say **** it's luck. We all have stuff we can do to improve are self and be more proactive in making friends. Put in the work and you can increase your chance of making some new friends. I'm bless with some good friends,I just work on keep those strong. I try to be friendly in general and eventually I will meet someone one new. It can be hard,one of my close friends moved out state and one is getting married. There both like brothers still but especially the married one it's different.So is life thou,I suppose. Link to post Share on other sites
BeautifulTragedy Posted June 25, 2010 Share Posted June 25, 2010 Pretty much I'm starting to believe that life and friendship is all about luck. I mean I haven't been having trouble making friends until I graduated from high school. Started a college I can't stand, and even tried speaking to some people here in school and out. I didn't have any luck with that at all. Pretty much I'm not comfortable with this place, I mean I've been here for only a year since we moved here a year ago. And all I can say is, friendships aren't easy to gain where I live. I can go to churches, malls, clubs, and I just don't click with anyone here. So life is all about life, and even experience. Link to post Share on other sites
BeautifulTragedy Posted June 25, 2010 Share Posted June 25, 2010 Oops I meant life is all about luck and experience. Link to post Share on other sites
Author jean-luc sisko Posted June 25, 2010 Author Share Posted June 25, 2010 Once you get out of college making friends is partly luck. Some people seem to make friends easily b.c they have a nack for it or people are drawn to them . Even then it can be luck to go from acquaintance to friend to strong friendship. One of my very good friends I was an acquaintance with thru school and I happen to mention I had this video game. He was looking all over for it and I said sure man i'll just copy it. We become very close friends over time,it was chance. One my friends who seem to click with people easily he makes some new friends. His very strong friendship were from childhood. Many friendships are made by chance, we can definitively be proactive in meeting new people and thus increasing are chances of clicking with someone. Go to clubs,be talkative,have a positive mindset,etc. It can be hard to break in to someone friends group. Friends move and lose contact after time,get married,etc. I learned recently that we have to work on our bond with people sometimes,just a simple call every now and again to keep the friendship strong. My mom is a friendly out going person,joined clubs,etc but she only really meet acquaintances. I'm somewhat shy and to myself but I am very nice dude and can be talkative,I only made one really new good friend. It was by chance b.c he was hanging out with some other dude I know. I also notice many people can be shady or just have some angle,its tricky b.c with certain people we really can't be too friendly. Others mean well but bring too much drama. You can't just sit around and say **** it's luck. We all have stuff we can do to improve are self and be more proactive in making friends. Put in the work and you can increase your chance of making some new friends. I'm bless with some good friends,I just work on keep those strong. I try to be friendly in general and eventually I will meet someone one new. It can be hard,one of my close friends moved out state and one is getting married. There both like brothers still but especially the married one it's different.So is life thou,I suppose. So this is why most threads regarding friendship on this forum essentially boil down to "suck it up, friends come and go. Be happy." lol... I guess contradiction is part of life. Link to post Share on other sites
Author jean-luc sisko Posted June 29, 2010 Author Share Posted June 29, 2010 Once you get out of college making friends is partly luck. Some people seem to make friends easily b.c they have a nack for it or people are drawn to them . Even then it can be luck to go from acquaintance to friend to strong friendship. One of my very good friends I was an acquaintance with thru school and I happen to mention I had this video game. He was looking all over for it and I said sure man i'll just copy it. We become very close friends over time,it was chance. One my friends who seem to click with people easily he makes some new friends. His very strong friendship were from childhood. Many friendships are made by chance, we can definitively be proactive in meeting new people and thus increasing are chances of clicking with someone. Go to clubs,be talkative,have a positive mindset,etc. It can be hard to break in to someone friends group. Friends move and lose contact after time,get married,etc. I learned recently that we have to work on our bond with people sometimes,just a simple call every now and again to keep the friendship strong. My mom is a friendly out going person,joined clubs,etc but she only really meet acquaintances. I'm somewhat shy and to myself but I am very nice dude and can be talkative,I only made one really new good friend. It was by chance b.c he was hanging out with some other dude I know. I also notice many people can be shady or just have some angle,its tricky b.c with certain people we really can't be too friendly. Others mean well but bring too much drama. You can't just sit around and say **** it's luck. We all have stuff we can do to improve are self and be more proactive in making friends. Put in the work and you can increase your chance of making some new friends. I'm bless with some good friends,I just work on keep those strong. I try to be friendly in general and eventually I will meet someone one new. It can be hard,one of my close friends moved out state and one is getting married. There both like brothers still but especially the married one it's different.So is life thou,I suppose. i disagree. the standards of interaction still apply, from school to early 30s. Link to post Share on other sites
Lipsy10 Posted June 29, 2010 Share Posted June 29, 2010 Like most things in life making friends is part luck, part opportunity, part effort. You can't sit in alone all day and expect new "friends" to knock on your door. You have to get out and try new things, create opportunitys to meet new people and then put effort into getting to know them. Some people are lucky enough to meet new friends easily, others have to try harder. Link to post Share on other sites
BeautifulTragedy Posted June 30, 2010 Share Posted June 30, 2010 Like most things in life making friends is part luck, part opportunity, part effort. You can't sit in alone all day and expect new "friends" to knock on your door. You have to get out and try new things, create opportunitys to meet new people and then put effort into getting to know them. Some people are lucky enough to meet new friends easily, others have to try harder. That's true. Well I happen to be one of those ones that can't make a single friend anymore. It used to be easier for me to make friends, for me to meet new people. I ended up developing social anxiety along the way.(Maybe because I move so much and never stay in one state for longer than a few years.) So it's twice the effort I have to put out, and I can say I DID put out effort at where I live, just it seems I'm too different for their tastes. When I did put out effort to the people I met here, I ended up feeling more lonely than I do with no friends. I might be the one with bad luck, but lately I've been finding it easier to make friends through the internet rather than in real life for now. Link to post Share on other sites
boshemia Posted July 1, 2010 Share Posted July 1, 2010 What some people call luck other people realize is just putting out the efforts required to reap the desired results... aka work. Link to post Share on other sites
Author jean-luc sisko Posted July 2, 2010 Author Share Posted July 2, 2010 What some people call luck other people realize is just putting out the efforts required to reap the desired results... aka work. nope. it's the right place at the right time. so just luck in the end. Link to post Share on other sites
Corporate Posted July 2, 2010 Share Posted July 2, 2010 Oops I meant life is all about luck and experience. You're black, right? And, you live in Alabama, right? Do you try to make firends, mostly with blacks? Link to post Share on other sites
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