My Best Friend :)

[darkvenusianx13]

:oI’m currently in a little bit of a confusing situation: I have fallen for my best friend. We dated for a brief time a little under a year ago…our chemistry was great. However, I still wasn’t over my ex-fiance, and was very delusional and untrusting and told this guy that I couldn’t date him anymore. I maintained a friendship him, though, and this friendship blossomed over time. Now, we talk every day (multiple times a day) and see each other at least 3 times a week. He treats me and my son so, so well. For instance, he insists on holding all of my bags plus the umbrella over my head when it’s raining and we’re walking outside. He treats me to dinner/drinks often, and buys me little gifts. He calls me really for no reason at all… he also is always the first to text me in the morning with some sort of cheery good morning message before I go to work. He cancels plans to come see me, and is constantly praising me, telling me how much he likes being with me, etc. The couple of times we’ve been drunk together, he’s thrown innuendos out there about me… whether it be something (good) about my looks, or hinting at wanting to date me, etc. I get along with his friends very well and they always include me in what they do together as a group. I can come up with more instances which would certainly reinforce the idea that he must have feelings for me, but here’s the catch… when I’ve mentioned to him that there’s something deep there between us, he brushes it off. He makes excuses as to “why it’s not a good idea.” He tells me he’s afraid it will hurt our friendship if we “hook up and don’t work out.” Perhaps this is wise, but on the other hand, my feelings are just getting deeper. I feel the same is true for him! I am just very confused because he is something of a player and dates many women (when he’s not out with me)… he’s certainly not shy about making moves, but he doesn’t make any on me (only hints at things.) My parents love him. We take a family vacation to NC every year, and this year, my parents asked him to come. So, I’ll be with him for a whole week and to be quite honest, I want something to happen. Any ideas or advice on how to proceed or what to make of all of this?

[Cracker Jack]

Well, this is a touchy situation.

 

The idea of a relationship alone, wouldn't necessarily hurt your friendship--but he's right in a way, because it could actually destroy it (The friendship) if things don't go well. Unfortunately, after being involved with my best friend, we stopped being friends when we faced difficulties in our relationship, and she was no longer in my life after that.

 

I think that's what he's worried about; the possibility of everything being ruined if your relationship doesn't work out. I honestly believe it's a legitimate concern, too--but there's a chance this could be a really good thing. He seems to really be into you, though, so you're far from the issue. Now, if you continue telling him your feelings, he might continue to feed you the same line; but there's a chance that your persistence could ease his mind a bit.

 

Tough to call her. You can't suppress these kind of feelings, so I think you guys should try to have a nice dinner or something to lay the mood out, so something could take place between you two. Hope it works out.

[phineas]

He could also be protecting himself.

You started dateing him then said "let's just be friends" right?

 

Have you addressed that with him?

Have you told him your are SURE you are ready for a relationship?

 

How does he know your not going to do the same thing again?