betrayed & pregnant

[llin]

Me and my boyfriend been together for 2years.we had a long distance relationship for not even a year. When i found out i was pregnant i move from N.Y to F.L to be with him.I found out he cheated on me a couple of times.I been very depress especially that im pregnant. I been lie the whole time,some girls that calls he says there are just friends but there where some i got cheated with.The calling has stop but why be so low and tell me there friends until i told him they were not and thats where he decide for them not to call no more.How do i get over his how do i know he really loves me,how do i get over being betrayed when all i did was gave him all my trust and love...

[Tony T]

The simple nature of long distance relationships is that they leave a large gap for cheating. It's hard enough for many people to stay loyal to someone who lives with them in the same house. But when two people are quite a distance from each other, one or both can be easily tempted.

 

Now this may unsettle a lot of people, but just because a man cheats on his wife or lover is not always an indication he doesn't love his wife or lover. There are primitive parts of the brain that are less evolved in some men than others that biologically drive men to spread their seed, as they did more openly thousands of years ago. It is only in the recent history of our species that man has been programmed to be more inclined to monogamy and marriage. Even still, there is a lot of disloyalty and cheating and even some famous examples amoung high ranking government leaders and members of the religious clergy (all those who are supposed to set an example for us).

 

Talk to your boyfriend and get to the bottom of this situation. Insist that he grow up, control his urges, and let him know that he is now in a committed relationship and he has to give up his other females. If he is too immature to be able to control his urges, then you will have to take some serious action once your child is born.

 

If he must have lady friends, insist that he bring them over, introduce them to you, and if you can be their friend as well, fine. There are some men who do well with platonic lady friends, though often it is not practical once in a marriage or committed relationship. If you can't be part of those friendships, that's a danger sign.

 

You will only be able to get through this with excellent communication with your boyfriend. His changed behavior, over a period of time, can go a long way to restoring the trust that was broken down.

 

Both of you have to do some work here. Nobody said it was easy.