Breaking up is hard to do!

[phen0min0n]

Hello to all reading this post. I am new to this site and I have been reading alot of your posts. I find some of your advice very helpful and I figured I would write about my breakup to see what you all think.

 

I was in a 3 year relationship with the love of my life. You see she was just that at the begining and after. I really don't think I treated her as good as I should have. I could have done so much more to show her that I cared ( the little things ). I was always in love with her but I took the relationship for granted and I didn't listen to her. I mean really listen. We lived together for almost 2 years and then things just got strange for both of us. She didn't seem happy anymore and we didn't make love as much as we used to. She came to me one day and said I don't think this is working out. She never said she needed space. Just that this is over. We still had to live together for a month. I tried to convince her ( all the usual stuff ) that I'll change and learn to listen. You see, I really would have.

 

She moved in with a friend and left me all alone. This was about 6 months ago. My whole world was destroyed. I couldn't stop thinking about her. I learned not to call her and just give her the space she needed. I was hopeful that in time things would change for us. I knew she was seeing another guy and once again I felt even worse. This is only because I asked and she told me. About 3 months after we broke up she ended up moving in with this guy she works with. I can't beleive this at all. I had asked if she left me for this guy but she swears she didn't. My sister is friends with her and told me that she just can't be alone and that she settled for this guy so she didn't have to be. I think that part of that is true and part of it is to make me feel better.

 

We still talk every couple weeks or so. I try not to call her and let her call me. We had alot of mutual friends. Some of them I now live with. You can kind of say that she let me keep the friends and she kind of stopped talking to all of them so she could start this new life with this guy. I never thought this girl was capable of doing this to me. She was really the biggest sweetheart I have ever met. When I talk to her now I talk to her as A friend. But the voice in my head wants to say I love you! You are my everything. I am not complete without you. But I never do.

 

Even after the time that has passed I still think of her way too much. I have dreams about her all the time. My confidence is at the lowest level it has ever been. My friends always tell me that I am very good looking guy and that I am a great catch but yet I still remain alone. I guess I'm still healing from all of this. I have been dating here and there but I haven't found anyone to take away my pain. I compare them to my ex and they just don't even compare. I am still holding on to the thought of us one day being together again. I still hope that she will come to and realize the great catch that I am. I would steal her back from this guy in a heartbeat. I have stripped away my feeling of need for her. After that there is only love left behind. I realize now that I am truly in love with this girl and that she was my one. I have recently found out that she is taking anti depressants because she had a hard time with the break up. I can't help but to feel like maybey she just needed them while we were together.

 

There is alot more to this but this is just a summary. I just can't figure out where things went wrong and exactly why they did. I am taking things day by day. Sometimes I wake up feeling great and others I wake up miserable. My motto is only time will tell. To say the least I have learned from this. Like they say it is better to Love and loose than to never of Loved at all. Thanks for listening and please share any advice or experiences of your own.

 

Kevin

[abarbarea]

without trying to be harsh, you sound incredibly desperate and needy. Nobody wants someone who NEEDS them. Nobody wants to be the person who is only taking away anothers pain.

let it go. If it was meant to be it would have been.

[dario]

Kevin,

 

Live well and take care of yourself...I don't think you sound desperate. ust someone who is living with hindsight. It's not a good place to be....but it happens.