califnan Posted June 18, 2010 Share Posted June 18, 2010 The OW turned W did not disinherit anyone. Nan's exhusband did that. Perhaps he did not like the way his children treated his wife? Perhaps they limited their contact with him after the divorce due to feeling they would be betraying their mother to show love and loyalty to their father? And their father's feelings were hurt, hence the disinheritence? We do not know the whole story. But I still am curious to how Nan would feel if she had been wife number two in the situation? I am sure that monday morning quaterbacking she will say that she would feel the same way. But I seriously have my doubts as to the validity of any such statement. IMHO. ------------------ My sons are quiet, I know they showed respect for the OW - and they were devoted loyal hardworkers for their father .. That set aside, as seeming maybe unbelievable and biased from their mother.. the following: She is at it again, only on a much larger scale: Remarried 3 years ago to a wealthy 76 yr old lumberman.. Working for the Eisenhower Medical Ctr - she descended upon him right after his longtime wife died, and he had a stroke.. His seven children are fit to be tied.. OW is worse than ever, going through his money, alienating his family and friends .. There have been several marches to the attny in these 3 years to revise will.. another one about to happen as he goes in for prostrate cancer surgery.. Honestly the words Audacity and sense of Entitlement do not begin to describe her .. ha Link to post Share on other sites
Mombot Posted June 18, 2010 Share Posted June 18, 2010 I say let each relationship go by the circumstances and dynamic. Link to post Share on other sites
califnan Posted June 18, 2010 Share Posted June 18, 2010 Thanks for the reponse CN:)...I think that was CRAP that he disinherited his kids...mine mostlikey have done the same...they don't have anything anyway so they can bite me...lol... Should I get M'ed again I have my kids name on everything, and that WILL NOT change:) ---------------- I'm in complete agreement Pure.. Remarrying is supposed to be for love.. I hear a lot about operators out there.. The prenuptual can even offer more than the woman had before .. ha .. Then they work to have their name put on his house - or purchase another in both names.. then trips etc.. In these later marriages the men think with their penises (and/or they don't want to be alone) .. With women - it seems to be what they can get out of the deal .. Link to post Share on other sites
Fallen Angel Posted June 18, 2010 Share Posted June 18, 2010 ------------------ My sons are quiet, I know they showed respect for the OW - and they were devoted loyal hardworkers for their father .. That set aside, as seeming maybe unbelievable and biased from their mother.. the following: She is at it again, only on a much larger scale: Remarried 3 years ago to a wealthy 76 yr old lumberman.. Working for the Eisenhower Medical Ctr - she descended upon him right after his longtime wife died, and he had a stroke.. His seven children are fit to be tied.. OW is worse than ever, going through his money, alienating his family and friends .. There have been several marches to the attny in these 3 years to revise will.. another one about to happen as he goes in for prostrate cancer surgery.. Honestly the words Audacity and sense of Entitlement do not begin to describe her .. ha you make her sound like some evil gold digger, yet these men marry her of free will. It is not as though she held them at gunpoint! I was talking with my sweetheart just today about one of my best friend's father. After his wife died he was very lonely. So he up and got himself a mail-order bride. She was 30 years or more his junior. When his children asked what he was doing he said he wanted to have companionship and good sex. She was willing to give him both. They both knew the deal going into the marriage. She got citizenship, a nice house and his military benefits and retirement pay. His life insurance and sponsorship in bringing her beloved family to be with her in the U.S. He got a friend and a willing lover for the three and a half years he lived after they were married. He died making love to a woman he really liked alot, who catered to his every whim. His children all smiled brightly at his funeral while they kissed their "step-mother" a fond farewell and wished her happiness and love. The trade off was worth it for him. Their father's ultimate happiness was worth it to his children. That story makes me smile, as I know how warmly this woman embraced his family as her own, even though we all knew there was no love but eternal respect between this woman and the man we called "dad". (he was not my father but he was still "dad" to me.. and she also embraced my children as her "gran-beebees" as she was often heard calling them. LOL) Link to post Share on other sites
silktricks Posted June 18, 2010 Share Posted June 18, 2010 What about the assets that are not community property? Such as inheritances? He could use these monies as he chooses to support his OW. Inheritances are separate property only if they are KEPT separate. If the moneys are ever put into a joint account then they immediately become community property (at least in my state). Link to post Share on other sites
BB07 Posted June 18, 2010 Share Posted June 18, 2010 Nan.....it sounds like you got the really stinky end of the deal in your divorce settlement, and I'm sorry. From what I understand he defrauded you out of some of the property and money......right? It was a long marriage and he should have stood up and done the right thing by you and more importantly his sons. Link to post Share on other sites
NoIDidn't Posted June 18, 2010 Share Posted June 18, 2010 Well, they both disinherited Califnan's sons. If I were the new W in a case like this, I would have given my stepsons something whether they were in the Will or not. Its just not right to not give children a portion of their father just because you are the new W. Link to post Share on other sites
Fallen Angel Posted June 18, 2010 Share Posted June 18, 2010 Well, they both disinherited Califnan's sons. If I were the new W in a case like this, I would have given my stepsons something whether they were in the Will or not. Its just not right to not give children a portion of their father just because you are the new W. Please do not get me wrong. I do not agree with what happened to nan or to her children. I just see Nan always villianizing the new wife in the situation as though her exhusband had no hand in it. I want to see her angry at the man who made the decision. I see her holding on to some belief that her exhusband wanted to be remarried to her and all the evil that was done her was caused by the new wife. I see nan not getting over the loss of this man and carrying bitterness in her heart. I see it eating up her soul. I want her to see what so many of the posters here say to OW who want to believe that they would be the chosen one if only that awful wife wasn't forcing him to stay!! If he wanted to be with her, he would have moved mountains to do so. rather than listening to his supposed words she needs to look at his actions! I want to see her heal, and carrying a torch for this man that she can never get the closure she wants with is only breaking her. I am sorry if I am coming of harsh, but that is what I see. Link to post Share on other sites
TinaniT Posted June 18, 2010 Share Posted June 18, 2010 My MM gave me what was to me a rather large sum of money, though as a percentage of his assets it was really quite small. It was hard at first but I accepted it because I know it came from a place of love and a desire to make sure I had what was most important to me (time with my son) and less stress. I do not anticipate it being an issue because in the divorce, he is giving his XW 97% of his estate and far more than required in child support and alimony. He is a good man. Even in her anger, his wife has admitted that and knows he has been more than fair. His lawyers hated it, but he thinks she deserves it since she has been there since he had nothing and because he doesn't want his kids to ever hurt for anything. He is a good man. And that extends to all those he cares about, me or wife or children. (I think I would have run for the hills if he tried in any way to cut things from his children, especially for my sake. This made me much happier.) Link to post Share on other sites
califnan Posted June 18, 2010 Share Posted June 18, 2010 you make her sound like some evil gold digger, yet these men marry her of free will. ------------------- She is actually worse than an evil gold digger.. And with this fifth husband, she definitely did - and is taking advantage.. And I'm sure the stories are true, that he has expressed wishes to be with his first wife.. And let's hear it for mail order brides - no matter what the age difference .. Three years of marriage? I would have thought it nice to take care of her or give her more than when she entered the marriage - while thinking of his children as well .. Link to post Share on other sites
califnan Posted June 18, 2010 Share Posted June 18, 2010 Nan.....it sounds like you got the really stinky end of the deal in your divorce settlement, and I'm sorry. From what I understand he defrauded you out of some of the property and money......right? It was a long marriage and he should have stood up and done the right thing by you and more importantly his sons. ---------------- Thank you BB .. A divorce can be an uphill battle regardless .. There is a saying that many times neither partner receives half of the assets, because of having to involve attorneys.. It may seem unbelievable, but the OW did tell my husband's secretary and members of his family that she would not rest until I was out of my house.. And yes, the OW does have enough of a hold on the MM, to influence him greatly .. All who know her know that she is a very jealous insecure woman - but with an unbelievable sense of Entitlement.. Link to post Share on other sites
Fallen Angel Posted June 18, 2010 Share Posted June 18, 2010 ------------------- She is actually worse than an evil gold digger.. And with this fifth husband, she definitely did - and is taking advantage.. And I'm sure the stories are true, that he has expressed wishes to be with his first wife.. And let's hear it for mail order brides - no matter what the age difference .. Three years of marriage? I would have thought it nice to take care of her or give her more than when she entered the marriage - while thinking of his children as well .. No reply needed.. this speaks for itself. Link to post Share on other sites
NoIDidn't Posted June 18, 2010 Share Posted June 18, 2010 Please do not get me wrong. I do not agree with what happened to nan or to her children. I just see Nan always villianizing the new wife in the situation as though her exhusband had no hand in it. I want to see her angry at the man who made the decision. I see her holding on to some belief that her exhusband wanted to be remarried to her and all the evil that was done her was caused by the new wife. I see nan not getting over the loss of this man and carrying bitterness in her heart. I see it eating up her soul. I want her to see what so many of the posters here say to OW who want to believe that they would be the chosen one if only that awful wife wasn't forcing him to stay!! If he wanted to be with her, he would have moved mountains to do so. rather than listening to his supposed words she needs to look at his actions! I want to see her heal, and carrying a torch for this man that she can never get the closure she wants with is only breaking her. I am sorry if I am coming of harsh, but that is what I see. This woman stole from her right along with her exH. Surely you can see that. She was so complicit that she enjoyed the things provided from the fraud. Surely you can see that too. (Dearest Nan, I truly apologize for discussing you in this post. I am not at all trying to speak for you. I've just felt what you felt for your children for my H. And even for yourself. There is nothing like it and some don't understand it and misinterpret it for whatever reasons.) Link to post Share on other sites
Fallen Angel Posted June 18, 2010 Share Posted June 18, 2010 ---------------- Thank you BB .. A divorce can be an uphill battle regardless .. There is a saying that many times neither partner receives half of the assets, because of having to involve attorneys.. It may seem unbelievable, but the OW did tell my husband's secretary and members of his family that she would not rest until I was out of my house.. And yes, the OW does have enough of a hold on the MM, to influence him greatly .. All who know her know that she is a very jealous insecure woman - but with an unbelievable sense of Entitlement.. Nan! She was not his OW. She was his wife, hun. Link to post Share on other sites
califnan Posted June 18, 2010 Share Posted June 18, 2010 Well, they both disinherited Califnan's sons. If I were the new W in a case like this, I would have given my stepsons something whether they were in the Will or not. Its just not right to not give children a portion of their father just because you are the new W. ----------------- Thank you NID, I agree.. It was a 1-1/2 page will saying: I make no provisions herein..... It was done at her personal attorney's office.. Not with my exhusband's attorney .. Link to post Share on other sites
NoIDidn't Posted June 18, 2010 Share Posted June 18, 2010 Nan! She was not his OW. She was his wife, hun. Why are you so concerned about how she views the new W? This is taking over a thread that is supposed to be about finances taken from the M and used to help OW. I apologize for helping to derail it, but we really need to get back on topic before Tony comes in and closes yet another interesting thread. Link to post Share on other sites
NoIDidn't Posted June 18, 2010 Share Posted June 18, 2010 And, FTR, I don't think that most MM or OW intend to defraud the W in using marital funds. I don't think of it as stealing, except in cases where it obviously is. Link to post Share on other sites
califnan Posted June 18, 2010 Share Posted June 18, 2010 Nan! She was not his OW. She was his wife, hun. ------------------- Yes you are correct about that one FA .. My exhusband's "wife" did participate in making the call that I should loose my house.. My husband participated in the fraud at the latter part of the marriage.. Link to post Share on other sites
Fallen Angel Posted June 18, 2010 Share Posted June 18, 2010 And' date=' FTR, I don't think that most MM or OW intend to defraud the W in using marital funds. I don't think of it as stealing, except in cases where it obviously is.[/quote'] I agree that is not the intent in most cases. Link to post Share on other sites
califnan Posted June 18, 2010 Share Posted June 18, 2010 And' date=' FTR, I don't think that most MM or OW intend to defraud the W in using marital funds. I don't think of it as stealing, except in cases where it obviously is.[/quote'] ---------------- I agree NID - say $250. or so isn't as obvious as taking a chunk and putting a down payment on a house.. And no, the intent isn't there for just monthly monies .. but it can add up .. I guess it depends on the income? Link to post Share on other sites
NoIDidn't Posted June 18, 2010 Share Posted June 18, 2010 ---------------- I agree NID - say $250. or so isn't as obvious as taking a chunk and putting a down payment on a house.. And no, the intent isn't there for just monthly monies .. but it can add up .. I guess it depends on the income? If my H took his OW out to McDonald's, or comparable, every day for lunch, I wouldn't have cared much so long as I wasn't struggling to do the same for myself and our children. But if she got a house or a car out of the deal, and I was stuck with my "Mom-Mobile"?!! Hell yeah, I'd be getting her car put in my name in a New York minute. LOL. Link to post Share on other sites
pureinheart Posted June 18, 2010 Share Posted June 18, 2010 Inheritances are separate property only if they are KEPT separate. If the moneys are ever put into a joint account then they immediately become community property (at least in my state). Yep those are the rules in my state also...I almost made the mistake of "mingling" my inheritance...if you put even 1 cent w/community property, it's all community property. Thanks ST;) Link to post Share on other sites
califnan Posted June 18, 2010 Share Posted June 18, 2010 ------------------- Yes you are correct about that one FA .. My exhusband's "wife" did participate in making the call that I should loose my house.. My husband participated in the fraud at the latter part of the marriage.. ---------------- No FA - I was correct the first time.. We were going through the divorce .. My H and the OW were living together, but didn't marry until about three years after the divorce.. Link to post Share on other sites
califnan Posted June 18, 2010 Share Posted June 18, 2010 But if she got a house or a car out of the deal, and I was stuck with my "Mom-Mobile"?!! Hell yeah, I'd be getting her car put in my name in a New York minute. LOL. ----------------- On the other thread, about should the OW attend the children's sporting events .. I described that when I entered that first playoff game there was a brand new Cadillac in the parking lot with her name on the license plate.. I'm pretty sure he made the purchase.. Probably making monthly payments - but still came from him .. Link to post Share on other sites
pureinheart Posted June 18, 2010 Share Posted June 18, 2010 My MM gave me what was to me a rather large sum of money, though as a percentage of his assets it was really quite small. It was hard at first but I accepted it because I know it came from a place of love and a desire to make sure I had what was most important to me (time with my son) and less stress. I do not anticipate it being an issue because in the divorce, he is giving his XW 97% of his estate and far more than required in child support and alimony. He is a good man. Even in her anger, his wife has admitted that and knows he has been more than fair. His lawyers hated it, but he thinks she deserves it since she has been there since he had nothing and because he doesn't want his kids to ever hurt for anything. He is a good man. And that extends to all those he cares about, me or wife or children. (I think I would have run for the hills if he tried in any way to cut things from his children, especially for my sake. This made me much happier.) Rarely does one see this type of amicable circumstance...most of the time the senerio is both fighting to get one over on the other...I can understand exDM not wanting his ex to get one over on him, although it was ridiculous as they got the grown children involved and played many horrible games... He is a good guy T, you and his W are fortunate:)...my kids dads would not pay child support and when I did the paperwork (finally) for the DA to get it, one of them and his gf were continuously threatening me...at one point I had VERY little food in the cupboard. But whatever they can both bite me:) I couldn't make the kids dads look bad, they did a good job all on their own Link to post Share on other sites
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