Author Tkay Posted February 21, 2004 Author Share Posted February 21, 2004 Originally posted by Darkangelism You handling it ok? Nope. (read below) Originally posted by amerikajin It seemed like it was headed in that direction anyway. I wouldn't worry about it too much. Don't fixate on one woman anymore. I'm not saying you should have multiple girlfriends at the same time, but you shouldn't be afraid to date around (as long as you don't commit to any one of them in particular) - and no matter how much your girlies may want to know, they don't need to know about other girlies or other things that are going on in your private life. The bad thing is that, in school, it's hard to play the field without everyone knowing about it. The most successful guys keep their mouths shut, resisting the great temptation to brag to other guys about what they did the previous weekend. Go on and find other women. Play it cool. Take it slow. Think of this one as a learning experience. Ur probably right, but as i said before love=blind anyway this is what she sent me "hey i have some bad news for u im really sorry but i tought things over and our relation isnt working i dont really love u i discovered that this night im really sorry i just want to break up as friends please i know im hurting ur feelings but im not going to pretend i love u etc. im just being honest i hope good friends i really cant do anything about it sorry xxx" 5min later: "im really sorry i really am i hope that we can stay friends guess im not coming to ur bdayparty unless u want it but keep in mind that ur my best friend xxx" so i sent: "hey no hard feelings, if it isnt going smooth too bad. again: i really hoped things would have worked out i really like u & ur a wonderfull girl & it will be hard to compete with u. but hey just friends then! i'd like to know why the sudden turn-around but tell me on msn sometime. u can ofcourse come to my bday party just as friends then. have fun this vacation xx suddenly i accidently called her (wrong button,stupid cell phone.) and i was like OOPS and she just said hi and i asked her why the turnaround and she said "i really like u but i just dont love u enough etc whenever i have a boyfriend i really love i want to be with him always and i would constantly send him SMSes and stuff and i always want to be with him and i just dont have that feeling with u i just wanna be friends yada yada its not because ur not a cool guy or anything just that i dont love u enough " and after our conversation she sent : "thanks for ur understanding thats why i love u friend but not eough but maybe later who knows but i dont want to give u too much hope :-) else u will be hurt again and i dont want that ill be on ur bday party for sure and i really feel sorry but i just dont want to play with ur feelings im not like that. good friends anyway thanks hopefully i see u again sometime xxx im really sorry i really am xxx" My real problem is she is once again giving me false hope , and i once again believe it. I KNOW I shouldnt , but i just do. I start to think of other reasons why she broke up, maybe because her dad saw us kiss, but i KNOW im just "losing it" Do u think i should hope for anything in the future? And the 2d problem is i'm feeling like "iim never going to get such a wnderfull girl, i wish i at least kissed her once, she "dumped" me because im a boring person, because i dont have much to say, she deserves better then me, im a loser." Argh. I'm losing it. Link to post Share on other sites
amerikajin Posted February 21, 2004 Share Posted February 21, 2004 >>>My real problem is she is once again giving me false hope<<< No, the problem is that you're believing what she tells you. You should only believe what she does, not what she says. >>> and i once again believe it. I KNOW I shouldnt , but i just do. I start to think of other reasons why she broke up, maybe because her dad saw us kiss, but i KNOW im just "losing it"<<< Every guy has made the same mistake before. You meet a girl. You get a great vibe from her. You think it's really something special because she throws a few of her beautiful smiles your way. You think "Oh man, she's the one" while she's thinking about what time she's going to go to the mall or what movie she should rent tonight. The problem is, once we get this image in our head (the fantasy of spending a nice walk in the park with her, or of having sex) it's hard to let go, and it just builds up into something more. Yet while we're building this thing up into something more than it really is, she's going on about her life and deciding which of the two or three other guys who've asked her out gets to be the lucky guy to go out on a date with her this weekend. We're so deluded...we don't immediately recognize that we're just being played (often a girl will flirt just to boost her ego). It isn't until we keep getting the same "I'm really busy, maybe some other time" for about the fourth or fifth time that it finally dawns on us that maybe there won't be any wedding bells after all. Yet, for some reason, we keep trying until we get to the point where she won't even speak to us anymore. We end up looking really desperate, weak. It's the least-attractive you'll ever be to a woman, especially the one you're pursuing. >>>Do u think i should hope for anything in the future? <<< No, don't get your hopes up. Start looking for someone more available and use this as a learning experience. She may try to hit on you from time to time, but you'll look better in her eyes and everyone else's if you just move on gracefully. Think about the big picture. She has friends, you know. If you handle this the right way, maybe you could score with one them. >>>And the 2d problem is i'm feeling like "iim never going to get such a wnderfull girl, i wish i at least kissed her once, she "dumped" me because im a boring person, because i dont have much to say, she deserves better then me, im a loser." <<< And this is the worst stage, isn't it? The self-beration stage. It's tough when you're young because you're still trying to figure out your own identity. As you get older though, you'll realize that you're not a loser at all. Even the most attractive and confident men "lose" a girl they like on occasion. Losing a girl doesn't make you a loser, a loser is someone who quits the dating even though they really want to date. That's not you, and that's not going to be you. No, you're going to take this like a man and rise to the occasion. You have to have the attitude that it's her loss, not yours. She didn't give herself the chance to meet you, and she'll regret that later. You may not be around to see it, but she will. That's the attitude you must take. You just have to think of this chick as practice and nothing else. She's not marriage material. She doesn't have the maturity for it, and probably won't for a long time. You'll both go through many partners before you reach maturity. If it's any consolation, I didn't have a steady dating girlfriend until my freshman year of university...and even then I never thought of myself as a loser. Did I sometimes get frustrated and question myself? Sure. But being a loser's a state of mind. As long as you believe you're a winner, then f>ck what others think. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Tkay Posted February 21, 2004 Author Share Posted February 21, 2004 Originally posted by amerikajin >>>My real problem is she is once again giving me false hope<<< No, the problem is that you're believing what she tells you. You should only believe what she does, not what she says. >>> and i once again believe it. I KNOW I shouldnt , but i just do. I start to think of other reasons why she broke up, maybe because her dad saw us kiss, but i KNOW im just "losing it"<<< Every guy has made the same mistake before. You meet a girl. You get a great vibe from her. You think it's really something special because she throws a few of her beautiful smiles your way. You think "Oh man, she's the one" while she's thinking about what time she's going to go to the mall or what movie she should rent tonight. The problem is, once we get this image in our head (the fantasy of spending a nice walk in the park with her, or of having sex) it's hard to let go, and it just builds up into something more. Yet while we're building this thing up into something more than it really is, she's going on about her life and deciding which of the two or three other guys who've asked her out gets to be the lucky guy to go out on a date with her this weekend. We're so deluded...we don't immediately recognize that we're just being played (often a girl will flirt just to boost her ego). It isn't until we keep getting the same "I'm really busy, maybe some other time" for about the fourth or fifth time that it finally dawns on us that maybe there won't be any wedding bells after all. Yet, for some reason, we keep trying until we get to the point where she won't even speak to us anymore. We end up looking really desperate, weak. It's the least-attractive you'll ever be to a woman, especially the one you're pursuing. >>>Do u think i should hope for anything in the future? <<< No, don't get your hopes up. Start looking for someone more available and use this as a learning experience. She may try to hit on you from time to time, but you'll look better in her eyes and everyone else's if you just move on gracefully. Think about the big picture. She has friends, you know. If you handle this the right way, maybe you could score with one them. >>>And the 2d problem is i'm feeling like "iim never going to get such a wnderfull girl, i wish i at least kissed her once, she "dumped" me because im a boring person, because i dont have much to say, she deserves better then me, im a loser." <<< And this is the worst stage, isn't it? The self-beration stage. It's tough when you're young because you're still trying to figure out your own identity. As you get older though, you'll realize that you're not a loser at all. Even the most attractive and confident men "lose" a girl they like on occasion. Losing a girl doesn't make you a loser, a loser is someone who quits the dating even though they really want to date. That's not you, and that's not going to be you. No, you're going to take this like a man and rise to the occasion. You have to have the attitude that it's her loss, not yours. She didn't give herself the chance to meet you, and she'll regret that later. You may not be around to see it, but she will. That's the attitude you must take. You just have to think of this chick as practice and nothing else. She's not marriage material. She doesn't have the maturity for it, and probably won't for a long time. You'll both go through many partners before you reach maturity. If it's any consolation, I didn't have a steady dating girlfriend until my freshman year of university...and even then I never thought of myself as a loser. Did I sometimes get frustrated and question myself? Sure. But being a loser's a state of mind. As long as you believe you're a winner, then f>ck what others think. You're so fcking right, are u a relationship expert or something? About the chick not being "marriage material" ->Yes, i tought so, i really believed it, she's just so nice, i loved it how she touched me etc, i love the feel of her lips, she's perfect. I know this is an illusion, but u say "she has some other guys up her sleeve" -> i just .know. this isnt true. (just some things she told me, but im sure it isnt like that) ps: I'M A FOOKIN WINNER LIKE IT OR NOT. Link to post Share on other sites
Darkangelism Posted February 21, 2004 Share Posted February 21, 2004 あめらか jin(amerikajin) i just wanted to see if that worked. But anyway, amerikajin knows what he is talking about, and listening to him is good, I learned stuff by reading what he told you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Tkay Posted February 23, 2004 Author Share Posted February 23, 2004 me: gotta go work some more for school cya xxx she: xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx oooh now im all alone :'( me: im always there in toughts xxxx she: oooooh thanks (K) god luck with ur gip she: xxxxxxxxxx me: thx;) she: (K) me: (K)(K) me: as friends she: yeah i know , we now know where we're standing (K) (dunno if this is right translation.. means something like we know what we have or summit) I'm probably seeing ghosts ,but there's alot of (K) and stuff (= kiss emoticon in msn) Link to post Share on other sites
Author Tkay Posted February 23, 2004 Author Share Posted February 23, 2004 PS: maybe im going to the same party as she is tonight.. is this a smart idea? and if i go, should i make contact with her? if yes -> maybe ask her what that special favor was or summit? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Tkay Posted February 24, 2004 Author Share Posted February 24, 2004 went to the party talked with her, small talk. didnt know what to say. angry at myself for again not knowing what to say. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Tkay Posted February 24, 2004 Author Share Posted February 24, 2004 http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?threadid=33375 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Tkay Posted February 26, 2004 Author Share Posted February 26, 2004 she: i have some bad news for u she: sorry she: I cant come to ur party friday i HAVE TO go to family (100km from here) she: i dont know if ill be back home on time she: SORRY me: ahhh too bad :s she: yes indeed she: because i'll miss your party :'( me: i hoped u could come :$ but well.. she: yes me too she: but we have to go tomorrow because we cant today because i gotta go footballing she: there's no other way she: but i gotta go finish my work sucks!! she: i'll be back on soon (k)(k)(k) me: ok ciao (k) cya then (k) she: again sorry but ill send u a sms tomorrow me: ok fine she: byeee (k)(k)(k)(k)(k)(k) Link to post Share on other sites
amerikajin Posted March 1, 2004 Share Posted March 1, 2004 Just got back from a little r&r. Yeah, Tkay, looks like she's movin on, dude. In fact, this is the cruelest stage - the point at where she's dropping you subtle hints right and left. Your bottom line is that you're out. It happens. Don't lose sleep over it. Don't even think about this chick anymore. She's not worth it. Move on to someone else, too. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Tkay Posted March 1, 2004 Author Share Posted March 1, 2004 Originally posted by amerikajin Just got back from a little r&r. Yeah, Tkay, looks like she's movin on, dude. In fact, this is the cruelest stage - the point at where she's dropping you subtle hints right and left. Your bottom line is that you're out. It happens. Don't lose sleep over it. Don't even think about this chick anymore. She's not worth it. Move on to someone else, too. Hmrr Been there, Done that. Not working either. I noticed she keeps looking at me tough Exchanged a few lines today, nothing special, but I keep loving her for some strange reason I'm also noticing I suddenly really really want a girlfriend bad :/ Link to post Share on other sites
amerikajin Posted March 1, 2004 Share Posted March 1, 2004 If you want a girlfriend the first thing you have to do is not to go after one chick. Spread yourself around and go after as many chicks as you can and keep yourself busy. Girls play the field. I guarantee that every girl you date is playing the field at first. She'll only stop playing when she's convinced that you've got something the others don't. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Tkay Posted March 1, 2004 Author Share Posted March 1, 2004 Ok i have more time now to elaborate on myself I really still love her. I Know i should just move on, but for some strange reason I cant. I'm also guessing it was infatuation, since I keep blaming myself for not kissing her. I'm also afraid thats what caused her to break up, me not kissing her and stuff. Or something i said, i dont know. There are moments I dont think of her, but then when I see her again I get depressed again :/ And for last, Having a girlfriend just made me crave for more, Now I Know what i missed all my life, the love another person gives you, the affection , and so on. I also keep noticing I'm always attracted to foreign girls *notices amerikanjin just wrote back* Well at the moment I can actually only focus on 1 girl, Maybe u have tips on forgetting her? I know I should Link to post Share on other sites
Author Tkay Posted March 2, 2004 Author Share Posted March 2, 2004 she keeps approaching me with silly things. like today i was waiting for someone and she was standing behind me, she poked me, i turned around and she said hi lost sheep i was like... hmm?? she: where's your sheperd me: huh?wtf? and pointed at a friend of mine she smiled, the way she always smile, cute as hell, and walked away I'm seeing ghosts..righT? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Tkay Posted March 2, 2004 Author Share Posted March 2, 2004 guess not lol, this is insanity. : to be honest i miss u a little (k) : i'm glad we at least stay friends but that doesn't mean we cant go out together with the other plants (other friends) hihiihhi i gotta go sorry ill see u tomorrow (k)(k)(k) love ya my best friend (k) (k)= Kiss emoticon in MSN I know this is insanity and i should be insane to actually fall for this. but i'm going to anyway, and if things would work out i'm going to f*** her up like she did to me no not as bad like that.. but i'm not going to fall in love with her again.. just have fun and take it easy .. like young people should do! Link to post Share on other sites
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