amerikajin Posted February 10, 2004 Share Posted February 10, 2004 Go ahead, believe what you want to believe then. After all...it's gotten you this far. p.s. "I love you"??? Are you kidding me? How long have you known her. You don't say this until a long, long time from now. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Tkay Posted February 10, 2004 Author Share Posted February 10, 2004 Originally posted by amerikajin Go ahead, believe what you want to believe then. After all...it's gotten you this far. You're probably right, guess love really is blind. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Tkay Posted February 10, 2004 Author Share Posted February 10, 2004 I've beaten the system. She was grounded for 2 weeks, that was why she was "busy" Everything is .. aaaaa - o - k Link to post Share on other sites
amerikajin Posted February 11, 2004 Share Posted February 11, 2004 Why didn't she just come out and tell you she was grounded at first? Why the b.s. about her boyfriend? Why the b.s. about her being busy with homework? She's already told you three different lies and you've fallen for each one of them. Wake up. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Tkay Posted February 11, 2004 Author Share Posted February 11, 2004 Originally posted by amerikajin Why didn't she just come out and tell you she was grounded at first? Why the b.s. about her boyfriend? Why the b.s. about her being busy with homework? She's already told you three different lies and you've fallen for each one of them. Wake up. She was grounded, because of me. She went out with me to the cinema when she told her father she was going with a couple of friends. She didn't want to tell me so she made up she was busy&had homework. The boyfriend part isn't BS, she just wants to take it slow. I know, this all sounds a bit surreal, but it's the truth.. Link to post Share on other sites
amerikajin Posted February 11, 2004 Share Posted February 11, 2004 Does her father not let her date? Does her father not like you? Why would she need to lie about going out on a date? She once had a boyfriend, right? It's not like she doesn't date, and I'm sure her father's aware of that. Again, I wonder why she's telling you yet another version of this story. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Tkay Posted February 11, 2004 Author Share Posted February 11, 2004 Originally posted by amerikajin Does her father not let her date? Does her father not like you? Why would she need to lie about going out on a date? She once had a boyfriend, right? It's not like she doesn't date, and I'm sure her father's aware of that. Again, I wonder why she's telling you yet another version of this story. She had a rather long relationship, but kind of long distance. I SAW her father's reaction when he saw she was with me and not with friends (he was waiting for her outside the cinema..) and believe me, it wasn't nice. Its btw not only that, but she just had a fight with her dad, and that was among the problems Link to post Share on other sites
amerikajin Posted February 11, 2004 Share Posted February 11, 2004 Well, that makes sense, then. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Tkay Posted February 13, 2004 Author Share Posted February 13, 2004 she managed it to go out tomorrow and she said before we enter the party i gotta talk with u in private (i was like ok she's gonna break up) and then she says "omg i love u so much and miss u :(" me: is the thing ur going to say going to ruin our evening? she: i sure hope it wont hihi (k) she: i just hope ur not going to be intimitated by it she: its actually a special favor i need to ask (k) i guess she's going to ask me to kiss her ?? or something oh btw we agreed not to buy anything for valentine but should i do it anyway? like a card Link to post Share on other sites
Author Tkay Posted February 14, 2004 Author Share Posted February 14, 2004 oh boy i feel like a dick now (@amerikajin) amerikajin: u sure know girls. she kinda just broke up: this is what she said I think we should wait with our relation if u dont mind i dont wanna hurt ur feelings or anything but im just not ready for it yet we stay very good friends anyway!!!!!!!! but we can better just go out together so it "grow" between us and who knows we stay together for years i hope so anyway! because if i rush things now it won't last long anyway but we can still do things, also with just the 2 of us (but secret hehe remember) i hope u wont look at me different now but if im comitting myself to someone i want it to last u understand i love u but just not enough, THE spark still has to come (L)I'll always wait for u my love(L) sorry i gotta make homework now ill see u at the party we'll make a veeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeerry fun evening of it my friend xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxx I guess i shouldnt trust her and shouldnt believe there's still hope, should I? Link to post Share on other sites
Darkangelism Posted February 14, 2004 Share Posted February 14, 2004 I wouldnt, its over, u can choose whether or not you still want to be friends. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Tkay Posted February 15, 2004 Author Share Posted February 15, 2004 Originally posted by Darkangelism I wouldnt, its over, u can choose whether or not you still want to be friends. talked to her at the party asked her to be completely honest she said "i really wanna be your girlfriend i just need some time.." anyway when she left she send me this SMS saying she was sorry i was a bit depressed and that it would gonna be ok between us in the vacation or summit Link to post Share on other sites
amerikajin Posted February 15, 2004 Share Posted February 15, 2004 This cloud may have a silver lining, after all. Usually, when you get dumped, a woman has very little to say to you and tries to cut the conversation as short as possible. She wouldn't waste her time with mixed message crap once it's obvious that she's ready to move on. I'm not trying to give you false hope or anything, but I guess what I'm trying to say is that it at least appears as though she has some kind of natural attraction to you. Maybe she has her own reasons for not wanting to date you right now - one of which might be the fact that you're coming on too hard. It can be very confusing for us guys because our natural instinct is to come on to a woman whenever we get the play. But you've got to be very careful about that, particularly with Western (and Japanese) women. Women play the field just like men do, they're just not as obvious about it as we are. Chances are, your little friend has a few prospects in mind. What probably happened is: 1. She had her eye on a few guys, including you. 2. You were probably at or near the top of her list 3. She got curious and started wanting to know everything about you 4. You were too willing to supply her with information about yourself 5. After a while, you stopped becoming mysterious because she basically felt like she knew all she wanted to know about you 6. You dropped toward the bottom of the list of prospects 7. You might still be in the ballgame, but you're a long-shot now. The very BEST thing you can do now is to do the very thing she's not expecting you to do: cut off all contact with her. You just might become a little intriguing or challenging enough to make her think again about whether she knows all there is to know about you. After all, it's human nature (for men and women): you take for granted what you have in your grasp, but don't know what you've got until it's gone. No MSN. No e-mail. No text. No phone calls. Rebuild yourself with a few face-to-face encounters. Make her miss you. Always be pleasant and approachable in person, though. Just be careful not to kiss her ass. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Tkay Posted February 16, 2004 Author Share Posted February 16, 2004 Women = weird. At that certain party I asked her to come outside for a sec, and i asked her to be honest, and once again she said "i really want a relationship with u,but i just need some time. I wouldnt just be screwing with a guy's feelings for the fun of it! And why the heck would I act so in love to u when i didnt mean it" (the party was saturday) Didnt talk to her very much for the rest, just some small talk When she left the party she send me an SMS: Hey sorry that i confused(not the word she used.. hard to explain.. something to do with making me a bit down) u so much i didnt mean to i promise u that everything is going to turn out fine between us in the vacation. promise u. xxx I sent something back like "I like ur promise sorry that i reacted so impulsive. Cya in the vacation i guess ;)" An hour or something later she sent "Hey are you still at the party? I really feel sorry for dissapointing u, but everything will be very different between us when i'm ready for it. sweet dreams xxx" So I sent: No i just got home, and u shouldnt mind , u dont need to force anything, but i just needed some "ensurance" so i dont wait another week for nothing. You just let me know when you're ready xxx Anyway, Sunday she comes online on MSN and we were just talking a bit, and i asked her something: There's one thing i still don't understand... What did u mean by special favor? she: hihi never mind i'll tell u later when we're alone :pp me: hehe thats a promise she: hihi ofcourse hey maybe when the vacation starts (friday) she: totally alone mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm sweeet (not right word again. the word she used means "feels very good" or something . well its "zalig" in dutch ) me: hehe fine with me ofcourse she: hihihi dont dream bad boy ! she: maybe we could ask melissa to come with us friday (to set some things straight with her) sorry but i want her to come along we'll be alone enough in the vacation anyway then she had to go & said "love ya gotta go cya xxxxxxx.." Later that evening she sent an SMS: "did u just send me an SMS honey?, xxxxx" me: not that i can recall but alcohol is still in my blood wutya doing by the way? just out of curiousity she: oh im already going to bed tired as hell and now im gonna dream about the two of us hihi goodnight my little prince;) xxxx me: hehe good night honey sweet dreams and yeh dream about the 2 of us being alone in the vacation xxxx she:a wonderfull massage with candlelight and lots of drinking and me dreaming away in your arms hmmmmm sweet i miss u xxx me: yeah with some romantic music and massage oil and me caressing u gently while u dream away in my arms.. goodnight honey miss u too Today Melissa (good friend of mine) came to me at school saying "why didnt u tell me cicilia asked me to come along with u 2 to the cinema" Does any of this make sense? Too bad i didnt read your reply untill today, I now know i said some very stupid things I hope i didn't **** it up. Link to post Share on other sites
amerikajin Posted February 16, 2004 Share Posted February 16, 2004 I don't think you've permanently damaged yourself, but the more you stay available, the more you play her game. Don't play her game, make her play yours. Right now, she's doing what a lot of women do: she's just keeping you in sight. Meanwhile, she's in all likelihood moving on to try out a few other guys on that list of hers. What you've got to do is to let her know that you're not in her back pocket. You've got to make her think you might not be so available all the time. Try it. Just try ignoring her for three to five days and see what happens. Post here again when you do. I'll admit, there is the possibility that she might freak out and do the opposite of what I expect, but to be honest, I can't see it as anything but a positive step. You're not succeeding now, so may as well give the strategy a shot, right? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Tkay Posted February 16, 2004 Author Share Posted February 16, 2004 Originally posted by amerikajin I don't think you've permanently damaged yourself, but the more you stay available, the more you play her game. Don't play her game, make her play yours. Right now, she's doing what a lot of women do: she's just keeping you in sight. Meanwhile, she's in all likelihood moving on to try out a few other guys on that list of hers. What you've got to do is to let her know that you're not in her back pocket. You've got to make her think you might not be so available all the time. Try it. Just try ignoring her for three to five days and see what happens. Post here again when you do. I'll admit, there is the possibility that she might freak out and do the opposite of what I expect, but to be honest, I can't see it as anything but a positive step. You're not succeeding now, so may as well give the strategy a shot, right? I'm going to "lay low" for now, untill we meet at the cinema friday. I'll block her on MSN, and maybe have little conversations at school? or summit. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Tkay Posted February 18, 2004 Author Share Posted February 18, 2004 she's on to me i think. she just sent a SMS "hey honey can u come on MSN im online too luv ya" so i deblocked her for a mom, had a small chat and told her i had to go Link to post Share on other sites
amerikajin Posted February 19, 2004 Share Posted February 19, 2004 And you're again making yourself too available. How long was this "small" chat??? Look, you tell her you have little time for chit chat. The next time you chat, you should immediately go for the date. Say "I'm kinda busy right now, but let's go to a movie this weekend" That way, she'll know that you don't need to spend time with her (and thus she'll respect you more), but you'll also let her know that you're interested in getting right down to business. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Tkay Posted February 19, 2004 Author Share Posted February 19, 2004 Originally posted by amerikajin And you're again making yourself too available. How long was this "small" chat??? Look, you tell her you have little time for chit chat. The next time you chat, you should immediately go for the date. Say "I'm kinda busy right now, but let's go to a movie this weekend" That way, she'll know that you don't need to spend time with her (and thus she'll respect you more), but you'll also let her know that you're interested in getting right down to business. the chitchat was just a minute orso We already set up a date for friday (movie) and saturday (going to the city nearby) she asked the 2d part tuesday but yesterday she sent me a sms that maybe she couldnt go so i asked wlel no problem ill see u friday anyway but i hope we're going to spent some time in vacation and she replied yes you can be sure of that, and maybe i can go anyway i dont know yet Guess i'll find out friday what she's up to Link to post Share on other sites
Author Tkay Posted February 20, 2004 Author Share Posted February 20, 2004 ok so i just got back from cinema we had fun, at end of evening we went outside but her dad was already there, we kissed, mouths closed, after 2 sec she opened her mouth but i for some reason kept it closed and the next moment i remember she was already gone (it was just like 3 sec or something ) i hope i didnt **** up, i'll find out later if she wants to date again Link to post Share on other sites
Author Tkay Posted February 20, 2004 Author Share Posted February 20, 2004 ok so i just got back from cinema we had fun, at end of evening we went outside but her dad was already there, we kissed, mouths closed, after 2 sec she opened her mouth but i for some reason kept it closed and the next moment i remember she was already gone (it was just like 3 sec or something ) i hope i didnt **** up, i'll find out later if she wants to date again Link to post Share on other sites
Author Tkay Posted February 21, 2004 Author Share Posted February 21, 2004 forgot some info when she "withdrew" it looked like she immediatly took off so i went back where i came from, but after walking 2 or 3 metres i noticed she actually was still standing there i sent a sms later that night saying " too bad ur dad was already there and the couple we were with :p" and she said summit like "too bad u say that :-( [this part is about the double date thingie] i actually liked it. thanks for a great evening untill next time luv ya xxx Link to post Share on other sites
Author Tkay Posted February 21, 2004 Author Share Posted February 21, 2004 she just broke up. sheesh women are weird :\ Link to post Share on other sites
Darkangelism Posted February 21, 2004 Share Posted February 21, 2004 You handling it ok? Link to post Share on other sites
amerikajin Posted February 21, 2004 Share Posted February 21, 2004 It seemed like it was headed in that direction anyway. I wouldn't worry about it too much. Don't fixate on one woman anymore. I'm not saying you should have multiple girlfriends at the same time, but you shouldn't be afraid to date around (as long as you don't commit to any one of them in particular) - and no matter how much your girlies may want to know, they don't need to know about other girlies or other things that are going on in your private life. The bad thing is that, in school, it's hard to play the field without everyone knowing about it. The most successful guys keep their mouths shut, resisting the great temptation to brag to other guys about what they did the previous weekend. Go on and find other women. Play it cool. Take it slow. Think of this one as a learning experience. Link to post Share on other sites
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