SturmBrightblade Posted July 14, 2000 Share Posted July 14, 2000 Ok, well I don't want to write all day (and I could) so I'll do my best to keep this to the point. Theres this Girl (I'm an 18 y/o guy and shes 17 but will be 18 before I'll see her again) who I love more than anything in the world. She is my best friend and it's a really strange thing because before she moved to where she lives now, we barely knew each other....I was the only one who really stayed in touch with her though. So anyways she is my soul mate, of that there is no doubt....even she'll tell you that...we know each other better than ourselves. Welp, she has a bf right now (can''t say I blame her, she lives over 2000 miles away now and has for the past almost 4 years). She knows how I feel and all she says is that she doesn't want to ruin anything because of lack of patience. I think if she had no interest at all she'd tell me cause she knows that'll do less damage in the long run, but what if I'm wrong. Is it worth thinking about her every day and structuring my life to be closer to her? Thank you very much. Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted July 14, 2000 Share Posted July 14, 2000 Not worth it at all. If she had the same feelings for you she would not have a boyfriend. But she is smart enough to leave her options open. Many ladies who are smart keep some inventory on stand by in case other things don't work. She is one of them. I know that sounds harsh but I'm known here as the cold and cruel reality man and that's the way it is. I hope you will look into yourself and find out why you are so hung up on a lady who has lived 2,000 miles away from you for the last four years. I am sure there are wonderful girls in your proximity that you could love as much, if not more so. She may be ONE of your soulmates, but the soulmate you end up with forevermore will be a soulmate who lives near you, who you can date, kiss, cuddle with, do things with, etc. I urge you to do whatever you can to end your obsession with this lady. She has a boyfriend and is certainly not waiting around for you. You need to be as skilled in love as she is. Hint: Ladies her age absolutely go bananas for a challenge. If she knows you have your life on hold waiting around for her, she will not find you attractive, not want a relationship with you, and could get nauseated if you send her too much mail, too many gifts or communicate with her too much. There is no doubt she has discussed you with her boyfriend. Don't allow yourself to be made a fool of. If there is a microscopic glimmer of hope that you could be with her one day, it will be increased by the measure of your ability to go forward and live your life without her. Take a day off, go off to some silent place, and meditate on what you are doing: Waiting around for something to happen between you and a girl 2,000 miles away who has a boyfriend. The ask yourself just how sane that is. But don't ask out loud lest the men in the white suits will quickly come get you. I say all of this to you because I have done similar things. I truly want you to be happy in love. Take it from one who's been there, YOU ARE WASTING YOUR TIME BIG TIME!!! Link to post Share on other sites
SturmBrightblade Posted July 14, 2000 Share Posted July 14, 2000 Ok, thanx for the advice, I'll think it over, the thing is I'm going to be living near her next year and she already invited me to go with her to her prom next year. Whether or not we end up romantically involved she is always going to be my best friend, that why we stay in close contact. She writes me as frequently if not more so than I do her. Hell, she flew out here over Christmas last December just to be with me....and she had a bf then too, although he was a dick....but shes with someone else now. What some of our mutual friends have told me is that she goes out with these guys on a temporary hold over basis...what do you think of that possibility? Thanx for responding. Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted July 14, 2000 Share Posted July 14, 2000 I still think you are wasting your time. You have also described a girl who is a bit misleading with guys. But if you've got lots of extra years to spare while she dates all kinds of guys in her quest for Mr. Right, my hat's off to you. We are always here to comfort you when she comes home to visit you one Christmas escorting her fiance and both ask you to be best man at their wedding (if he doesn't have someone else in mind for the honor). I have been around the pike many times. It just never, ever pays to sit around waiting for a lady who may never enter your heart. If you don't start seeing other people in earnest, you are headed for the worst heartbreak of the century. But I can't play God. You have to learn the lessons you are destined to learn. Godspeed!!! Link to post Share on other sites
SturmBrightblade Posted July 17, 2000 Share Posted July 17, 2000 Thank you for the advice man. I plan on dating while I wait just as she is. If she did ask me to be best man I'd be honoured as above all else she is my best friend. If things don't work out now theres always the next life. I love her, so if she finds someone better than I'm behind her decision 100%. I will take your advice under serious consideration, but until such a time as I know for sure, I can't give up completely. I will stop being so obsessive about it though as you are right that my heart would be broken if I was to continue on this path and she was to find someone else. Thank you again. Errol Link to post Share on other sites
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