beauty_48 Posted February 1, 2004 Share Posted February 1, 2004 Hi, I been with this guy for almost three years but lately things are not going good. We hardly see each other. He doesnt have time for me anymore. Doesnt buy me any gifts for two years. Not for Valentines or christmas and not even my birthday. Doesnt say anything nice abt me. All he wants is sex and we dont even do it anymore.I am about to move in with him. I really want to live with him and i have no where to go once i leave home. I am scare that if we brake up where am i going to live. I cant afford a place of my own, either. I really want to brake up with this guy and move on. But I dont know if i am thinking right. I happened to work with his mum. The whole workplace know i am dating her son. He says that he does love me. But i dont feel this love anymore. This is a big deal for me. What can i do to make this work? Link to post Share on other sites
Kat Posted February 1, 2004 Share Posted February 1, 2004 Umm if he doesn't love you, why are you with him? Link to post Share on other sites
beauty_48 Posted February 1, 2004 Share Posted February 1, 2004 Because I want this to work. I have been with him for three years and It is very hard to let go. Link to post Share on other sites
Kat Posted February 1, 2004 Share Posted February 1, 2004 You have to know when to give up. If the love is gone and he isn't interested you should cut the ties and leave. Don't do this to yourself Link to post Share on other sites
Marty_McFly Posted February 1, 2004 Share Posted February 1, 2004 I haven't heard you mention anything that proves that he doesn't love you. What you are describing is his failure to show you love, which is still important. What kinds of discussions have you had with him about it? Do you love him? I was the same way in my relationship. I grew complacent, and felt like my ex just knew I loved her, and I just didn't realize that she needed to feel more love from me. But it didn't mean I didn't love her, because I did with all my heart and would have done anything for her. If I had known my failure would end our relationship, I would have shaped up and done more to show her how I felt and make her feel loved by me. Many guys, like me, are idiots, and become complacent in this area. They figure if you've been together for so long, and you have a great relationship, and they know they love you, then you must feel their love. You should have a frank discussion about it, and if you still want to be with him he needs to know that his failure to show his love to you is causing you to fall out of love with him. Link to post Share on other sites
hurtingandconfused Posted February 1, 2004 Share Posted February 1, 2004 I also thought the same as marty...and of course this ended my relationship as well... you need to have a serious talk with your b/f if you still love him and still have hope for you guy's future...make it clear to him that youre not happy and give him the details...i know that if my ex would have told me what she disliked instead of just telling me that she was unhappy it would have helped me...guys are not bright when it comes to hints...and of course my ex also told me that it seemed as if i only wanted sex..which was not true...now I am heart broken and I willing to do anything to be happy with her...but of course it is too late Link to post Share on other sites
beauty_48 Posted February 1, 2004 Share Posted February 1, 2004 Hi, Just after reading you guys input i told him why i was not happy and that i feel something lacking in the relationship. We started blaming each other and started the fight. He said he feels different as well and he broke up with me. I guess it came as a surprise. I was not thinking he would end it. Now i feel really bad. Should i ask him to reconsider about breaking up? I feel like i should do something but the things that he said are really mean. I guess, life goes on. Link to post Share on other sites
Allie Posted February 1, 2004 Share Posted February 1, 2004 Marty is right about talking to your boyfriend. Comunication is soooo important. However, if after the talk you still don't feel it, it's time to move on honey. It's really hard to; I know. But think of it this way: You deserve to be as happy as possible. Your relationship is supposed to make you happy. If he's not making you happy, then you need to let go of him so that you can find the person who will truley make you happy. When you find that person you'll just know it's right, and you will look back at your relationship with this guy and you won't feel pain anymore. The other thing i must warn you about is not being to dependant on your boyfriend. You need to be a whole person with or without him. I think that even if this is the right person for you, you should take a break from seeing anyone at all so that you can find yourself. Once you are able to support yourself and be alone without any trouble, love and dating will be easier. It's not a healthy relationship if you love him because you need him. You need to get to a place where you need him because you love him. Link to post Share on other sites
Darkangelism Posted February 1, 2004 Share Posted February 1, 2004 Don't force something that will not work, yes 3 years is a long time, but it could be longer. Do what is in your best interest. Link to post Share on other sites
Allie Posted February 1, 2004 Share Posted February 1, 2004 It might be hard to get over, but trust me, if her was mean to you there is no reason for you to try and fix anything. Just let it be. Chances are he'll come to you when he's thinking more rationally. And if he doesn't then you got your answer: He doesn't love you. But that doesn't make you any less great. You are great, because you know how to show someone love. It's his problem that he doesn't know how to show love. Give him time to grow up and catch up to your level of maturity. Link to post Share on other sites
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