lust? confused-long story

[emptinesshere]

This is the first time I have ever gotten on this site. I find it very interesting and since I have never been good at relationships I think I will be visiting this site often. I can't really describe what type of person I am or how I deal with relationships because I really can't even figure that one out myself. My problem this time is....

 

I met this guy at a bar about 2months ago. I find him very attractive. He informed me that he had just gotten out of a bad relationship where she left him. He has a lot of problems in his life right now, I think he is depressed and drinks to much. He is no one I can see myself with in the future.. BUT I was very interested in having sex with him. So we did. For the last month it happens about twice a week.

 

Although I know he is not the type of man that I want for long term, I still seem to have an obsession with him. I want him to want me, even though I know it will not be for the long run. He never asks question about me or my life. We have both discussed how we are not looking for a relationship, However, I feel like I am kissing his ass, I am always there for him when he calls, and my door is always open for him.

 

We have only gone out in public 3 times together. Other than that our relationship is based on late night phone calls and overnight sexual encounters. Last night A friend and I went out drinking, when we got back to my house I called him to see if he wanted to come over. He was there is 5 min. We had wonderful sex, the best so far, and not only was is great is was so much more intense and intimant then ever before.

 

We shared fantasy that were a little out there! We even had an argument about one of his fantasies, only because it contained my friend that was sleeping in the other room. Any way soon after the argument I turn to my side and went to sleep, this is about 6am at 7am I was waken up by him biting my leg to get me up telling me to come and lock the front door. (he has never left after sex, we usally cuddle and sleep in tell the afternoon.)

 

I asked him why he was leaving and he just said "you" and left. He had a very pissed off tone. I got up very confused and called his cell phone, he did not answer, so I jumped in my car and went to his house. He was just laying on the ground watching tv. I came in and asked him what was his problem. He said I was acting strange? He said that I feel asleep when he was trying to talk to me.

I was just sitting there confused wondering what the hell am I doing? He went in the other room and I saw that he had just textd some one I looked at his phone And he had textd me and this is what is said.. ("Don't worry about me I am a ghost in your past, Take care.") Now please tell me what the hell is that sposed to mean? I don't understand. Is this just his way of letting me go now that he is through having sex with me?

 

When he came back into the room I asked him what that was sposed to mean, he didn't answer than I asked him if he ment it, he said, thats how he felt a couple of minutes ago?????????? WHAT,, I then stood up and just looked at him for a min. then said well I guess I will just talk to you um um um later or I guess never, and I left. I came home and have been thinking about it all day. I was not going to call him, but I broke down and textd him I said ( "Its still unclear to me why you rushed out this morning , then textd me saying you don't want to talk to me agian, can you explain anything to me?") He never responded....

 

I just want to hear some brutal honest opinions on what you think I did wrong, or what you think I can do to get this s**t out of my head. I know I have a problem dealing with this type of stuff, but I just really liked having him around me, cuddling, sleeping, just having him there, made me happy. Should I call him until he answers or should I just swallow my pride and never talk to him agian?? HELP ME I AM GOING CRAZY!!!

[faux]

I do not understand why women put so much of themselves into men that are obviously not right for them. Do you expect to change this man, make him care about you how you care for him? It's impossible.

 

It doesn't sound like you are losing much with him going, and it sounds as though you put your all into trying to be there for him but he never once returned the favor.

 

Perhaps he only wanted sex from you after all, as that is what he told you. Perhaps he left you because you were acting as though you were more interested in something he was not.

 

I do not think you need to understand what he said. I think you need to understand it is a good idea to cut him out of your life, and let time start healing. If you put so much of yourself into someone who did not reciprocate, imagine how wonderful it will be when you find someone as kind-hearted as yourself.

 

Take time, then go find someone who deserves you.