btc321 Posted February 1, 2004 Share Posted February 1, 2004 Okay. I was with my girlfriend for a year and a half (She's 19, I'm 23). Talked about marriage, being together forever, the whole bit. I like to think we had a really great relationship. I mean, we had ups and downs, but continued to grow and get through things. We were amazingly happy throughout most our relationship. To make a long story short, a few months ago she started to get depressed. Her grandfather died, and she realized how important her family was to her and she wanted to live closer to them. (She moved to Northern California from Southern California to go to College). She was literally depressed every day, crying and crying. This obviously began to be a strain on our relationship. I tried everything I felt humanly possible to help her be happier, I realize that we can't make another person happy, that they must find the happiness within first, but I still did everything I could to support her. I took SO much time out of my days to be with her, I comforted her and helped her through it. Eventually, she found a roommate to take her room up here so she could move back home for a Semester, then transfer to a School that is Closer to home. You see, She begged me over and over to stay with her when she was up here. She cried to me, and told me that things would be better when she was closer to home and family. I ironically, was going to move back down to Southern Cali because my work didn't restrict me anymore. So things seemed like they were going to work perfectly, we'd still be able to be together. I moved her back down, and a day after she was back home, She told me she wanted "a break", well, we all know what that means, we broke up. So my question for all you is, Do you think she used me in some way? Maybe emotionally. I have made things worse between us by taking it hard and getting mad at her. My heart literally felt like it was ripped out of my chest. I've told her some pretty mean things, that she used me and what not. I just need some guidance and advice. I'm afraid she's going to come back and want to be back with me, and I'm afraid as to what I should do. I don't know. Can a Second Chance work? Should I move on and date other people? She's not telling me anything. She says that she doesn't want to see other people, but she doesn't know what will happen. She doesn't want me to wait around for her. Link to post Share on other sites
RobertoPNW Posted February 1, 2004 Share Posted February 1, 2004 Originally posted by btc321 She says that she doesn't want to see other people, but she doesn't know what will happen. She doesn't want me to wait around for her. I think it's fairly clear in her statement, she doesn't want you to keep any hopes. Meaning, time to move on. Sorry dude. Link to post Share on other sites
SoleMate Posted February 1, 2004 Share Posted February 1, 2004 Well, I wouldn't focus so much on whether she used you. You took care of a close friend when you were needed. Now, it is time to move on. Don't wait. Nineteen-year-olds aren't always the clearest thinking people in the world. BTW, you don't have to let a woman's tears be an all-powerful weapon that controls you. I never do. People may cry, and if so, it is caring of you to comfort them. But that doesn't mean you need to change your life to make them stop crying. Only change your life and run around doing stuff if it makes sense to YOU. IGnore the tears when making decisions. Link to post Share on other sites
Vivid_29 Posted February 1, 2004 Share Posted February 1, 2004 I'm with Rob and Sole - Move on, dude. You sound like a good man. I wish I could be like you! As far as a second chance - SHE BETTER HAVE A DAMN GOOD EXCUSE as to why she wanted a break. Sometimes, there are legitimate reasons for wanting a break and her wanting to find herself or experience life on her own are not ones. If she comes up with some lame a$$ excuse, like the aforementioned, forget her and find someone else! Find out what's wrong with her. Keep your eyes wide open and turn up the sensitivity on your bulls**t radar!!! Keep us informed! ~V Link to post Share on other sites
Arabess Posted February 1, 2004 Share Posted February 1, 2004 I agree with everyone else. She stated she no longer wanted to be in the relationship and for you not to wait on her. It doesn't get much clearer than that. I wouldn't dwell on if she used you or whatever. I would just look at it as a relationship which didn't work out. Link to post Share on other sites
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