michelle1 Posted February 1, 2004 Share Posted February 1, 2004 for a while now i have been having these scenarios playing out in my head about being single and happy being single, mind you i am happy with my spouse but sometimes mostly when i am bored i play out these scenarios in my head about leaving him and going to school decorating my apt. my own way, buying what i want when i want, doing as i please when i want. i can do all these things now but it just seems different to do them when you are single. i love this guy and my heart breaks each time i think of leaving him for playing out this other life. do you think this scenario playing out in my head could mean i really want to be single again? any opinions on this weird thing? Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted February 1, 2004 Share Posted February 1, 2004 I think it's much more the case that people tend to want something other than what they have. If you have straight hair, you want curly hair while your curl-topped friend longs for straight tresses. Some people haven't the gift of being satisfied with what they have; they think whatever they have must be inferior to what they do not. Too, some people don't enjoy sharing and compromising; unfortunately, these are critical elements of a good relationship. You need to decide if the trade-off of having everything your way is worth losing the benefits of marriage. Some people do make that choice. Link to post Share on other sites
reasontosigh Posted February 1, 2004 Share Posted February 1, 2004 It does not necessarily mean you really want to be single since you say you are happy with your husband. Since you say these fantasies occur when you're bored, I'm thinking this is the predominant theme. Perhaps taking a class or a hobby or sport or something would be just what is needed here. Link to post Share on other sites
will_woman Posted February 1, 2004 Share Posted February 1, 2004 I do wonder how true is it for a person to have the intention of "reverting" to single after they are married? Or they are having other wild thoughts like leaving their spouse for another new one? Link to post Share on other sites
Arabess Posted February 1, 2004 Share Posted February 1, 2004 Many times the grass always looks greener......... I would suppose everyone thinks about being single again while they are married or in a long term relationship. It's natural to wonder if you are missing anything. Most of the time though....it's probably just a passing thought or phase unless someone really is dissatisfied with their relationship or life. I prefer to be single at this time.....but generally....being single is less fulfilling than being in a meaningful relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
Venéa Posted February 3, 2004 Share Posted February 3, 2004 Everyone thinks they are missing something when they don't have it. When they do get it, more than likely, it was better before they messed with it. I wouldn't worry about your thoughts - you say you are happy and these are just because you are bored and let the mind wander. I have thought it from time to time, remembering single life but I know I'm more than happy now in a wonderful relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
doniker Posted February 3, 2004 Share Posted February 3, 2004 I think about being single and doing things my way all the time. I am age 40 and I have never had my own place. After leaving home I always lived with a girlfriend or roommates and now I am married. My wife and I have a child and my wife has her adult son living with us. My wife makes most of the decisions and she lets her son do want he wants so I have very little control in my household, probably less control then when I lived with my parents!! I am sick of cleaning only to have others mess it up and not clean after themselves. It would be great to be single. but I brought a child into this world and it is my duty to stay married and raise her right. Link to post Share on other sites
bicylejunk Posted February 4, 2004 Share Posted February 4, 2004 Nobody is ever happy. we suck as humans. We're always looking for better things. We're like freakin curious cats, wondering what's on the other side of the fence. I think it should apply to living your life, Not to relationships. I'm an angry man now, because I'm realizing that there are no women in the world that are happy with themselves, therefore, they are going to leave us guys once they get scared, get bored or get bad advice from single friends. Link to post Share on other sites
doniker Posted February 4, 2004 Share Posted February 4, 2004 Originally posted by bicylejunk Nobody is ever happy. we suck as humans. We're always looking for better things. We're like freakin curious cats, wondering what's on the other side of the fence. I think it should apply to living your life, Not to relationships. I'm an angry man now, because I'm realizing that there are no women in the world that are happy with themselves, therefore, they are going to leave us guys once they get scared, get bored or get bad advice from single friends. ONE OF THE SMARTEST THINGS I HAVE HEARD ALL WEEK. RIGHT ON. Link to post Share on other sites
InmannRoshi Posted February 4, 2004 Share Posted February 4, 2004 As someone with first hand knowledge of the subject, I would say that being single for an extended period of time is not all together mentally healthy, unless you have a really solid group of family and friends at your disposal that you can get outside positive reenforcement from on a consistant basis. Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted February 4, 2004 Share Posted February 4, 2004 Got a root that would cure people of making brash, egregious generalizations based on anecdotal evidence? Link to post Share on other sites
InmannRoshi Posted February 4, 2004 Share Posted February 4, 2004 I'm sorry, I didn't read the board rules that stated that relating anecdotal experience was discouraged, nor had I seen others admonished for using it elsewhere (it seems to be prevalent). Link to post Share on other sites
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