perplexed11 Posted June 21, 2010 Share Posted June 21, 2010 I have a bit of a dilemma and need some advice. I can usually figure things out on my own, but this one has me stumped! Melissa, Heather and I all work for the same company, however we all work in different departments. We have all worked here for about 17 years. Heather and I have been friends for the last 17 years, I can honestly say that she is my best friend and she says the same about me. She knows my parents and actually comes to family gatherings. We talk on the phone everday, I confide in her and she confides in me. We actually end all of our phone conversations with, "Love you!" without even thinking twice. I married Melissa 15 years ago and introduced Melissa and Heather. They became really close friends. Melissa and I got divorced 9 years ago, however we remained pretty good friends. I have had a couple of relationships in the last 9 years, the last was 6 years long. Melissa and Heather have also had a few relationships. Heather has been there for Melissa and I whenever we need her, she is honestly a truly great person. I have known a couple of people that have dated Heather and have always told them that if they let her go, they would be making a huge mistake because she is "the ideal woman". Heather is actually single right now.......... I just ended a long term relationship and once again, Heather was there to help me out. Melissa confided in Heather that she had never stopped loving me and wants to hopefully start a relationship again. I do not want another intimate relationship with Melissa, I would just like to remain friends. Now for the problem: Since ending my last relationship, Heather and I have talked and think that we would be perfect together. We have been intimate a few times and it was amazing. Heather tells me that she does not know what to do because she doesn't want Melissa to feel betrayed, or lose Melissa's friendship if we continue our relationship. I know that the two of them are best friends, but I can honestly say that Heather truly makes me happy and she tells me that I would make her happy. We have talked in depth and had found out that there had been a mutual attraction towards eachother for a long time, however it was never acted on due to the fact that whenever one of us was single, the other wasn't. I hate putting Heather in the middle of all of this because she feels like she has to choose one or the other......... What do I do?? Link to post Share on other sites
WTRanger Posted June 21, 2010 Share Posted June 21, 2010 Be direct with the ex that it's over and you will only ever be friends. If the two girls are really "best friends" it'll survive this. If one is only friends with the other in order to keep to competition close, then too bad. You need to put yourself first, then the girl you are interested in. It sucks for the 3rd wheel, but life isn't fair. The ex needs to move on anyways. Link to post Share on other sites
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