GUYS : howd u answer when a girl asked if you had a gf before? (but you never had gf)

[monkey00]

im just wondering what the majority of guys on htis board answered when a girl that was interested in you, shot them with that question...

did you guys lie or tell the truth?

 

what was the outcome of telling the truth/lie in respect to how it increased or decreased her interest level in you?

[Darkangelism]

Truth, it didnt change it either way.

[SoleMate]

WRONG WAY: "Ummm...no, no girl has ever looked at me, 'cause I'm such a loser. I'll be alone for ever." (hang head and look pitiful)

 

RIGHT WAY: "Well...I just haven't met the right girl yet. Maybe I'm a little too picky." (head up, eyes gently shining, modest smile playing on lips)

 

(Later) "I'm really glad we're getting to be friends, I like you a lot."

[UCFKevin]

I.....uh.....lied.

 

But that was waaaaaaay back when. I later told the truth, it didn't matter as it turns out.

[monkey00]

uh..well i lied for the first time yesterday, so maybe i should just be honest and tell her i lied if she brings it up again

[dyermaker]

I can understand lying to that question.

[amerikajin]

I know some might think that "Honesty's always the best policy". I'm more inclined to believe that honesty is ALMOST always the best policy. There are some situations where it can't hurt to fudge fact a little, and this is one of them. Let's be realistic, ladies: if you meet a guy who's in his late teens or early twenties and who's never had a girlfriend, you're going to wonder why he hasn't. Whether you admit it or not, it does in some small way affect your initial impression of him. I know ladies want honesty, but sometimes they'll use that honesty against you and not give you a chance to prove yourself.

 

On the other hand, I'm not saying you should make up complete stories that misrepresent you and your history as a whole - no stories about how you were a Don Juan or that you dated someone for a year when in fact you never got past the third date. In other words, don't say things that are easily found out to be false.

 

Maybe something along the lines of "I've dated some, but never had anything long-term."

[monkey00]

Originally posted by amerikajin

 

 

Maybe something along the lines of "I've dated some, but never had anything long-term."

 

 

that wouldnt be such a bad thing to say, but dont forget...HOW they interpret what you say may have a negative impact on you.

 

"i've dated some, but never had anything long-term." can also imply that you're possibly a player..

 

i was talkin to a co-worker today she's 27 so i think she still know women's secrets, when a girl asks that question, it's basically a test. not sure what type of test, but i assume it's a masculinity test or a player test question. she says being honest is also the bes policy even tho you may never have had a gf....but hey..u cant always trust what women say now can you?

 

almost like asking the question: "do i look fat in this?" is also another test. The way you say it impacts on you also.

 

almost like times when this girl mentioned negatively about her ass and face and saying how she is fat. either she wanted a compliment (which i couldnt give cause she was unattractive) or she wanted to test me by seeing how i would respond. all i said was why are u putting yourself down.....it was the only thing good to say at the moment.

[amerikajin]

There's always that possibility, but most women can generally sense whether you're a player or not just by talking with you and watching you act. Hell, women know if you're a player before you do.

[BlockHead]

monkey00

"i've dated some, but never had anything long-term."

That is a good response.

 

If you tell them that you never had a girlfriend, they will think you are desperate, and immediately dump you. I think an honest player is an oxymoron so I wouldn’t expect them to reply with “more than a hundred women.”

 

Women aren’t afraid of players. They hate losers, and they are afraid of abusive guys. If women didn’t like players, the players wouldn’t have so much game.

monkey00

almost like asking the question: "do i look fat in this?" is also another test. The way you say it impacts on you also.

Maybe you can get away with “You look fine.”

[InmannRoshi]

Let's be realistic, ladies: if you meet a guy who's in his late teens or early twenties and who's never had a girlfriend, you're going to wonder why he hasn't. Whether you admit it or not, it does in some small way affect your initial impression of him. I know ladies want honesty, but sometimes they'll use that honesty against you and not give you a chance to prove yourself.

 

Ugh, what about late 20's ??

 

Seriously, I avoid the question at all costs. Even when its asked, I'll deflect it or try to change the subject. Its a dealbreaker to far too many. I had to learn this the hard way, as in my early 20's I just assumed since it really didn't matter to me that it wouldn't matter to others. One time I just answered "Well, I've just been focusing on myself." Yeah, focusing on myself for 28 years. Even when you think you're being slick, its completely transparent, so I just avoid answering the question.

[SoleMate]

Hey folks, did anyone see my post? It avoids all possible issues and turns the answer into a compliment.

 

When girls ask you this, it IS a "test". The girl is wondering how you interact with women. Do you use them and lose them, do you cling psychotically to a girl who once said "Hi" to you, or do you build solid, mutually satisfying relationships with women, treating them as fellow human beings? I agree, you don't want to look like either a self-centered player or an unloveable loser.

 

Do guys ever wonder what a girl has been like in previous relationships? I would imagine, YES. The future so often resembles the past. If you think the future will be WAY different, you'd better have a darn good story as to why that is so.

 

Once again, kindly read my previous post and see if it does not answer every possible objection.

[InmannRoshi]

Well...I just haven't met the right girl yet. Maybe I'm a little too picky."

 

I read you answer. But I did meet the right girl, she just didn't think I was the right guy, and I'm not too picky.

 

I would rather avoid the question, and not lie about it.

[BlockHead]

SoleMate

Do guys ever wonder what a girl has been like in previous relationships?

Whoa! That is a dangers subject for guys. Having a woman remember feelings of joy is a good thing. Having a woman remember a past boyfriend is a bad idea because the guy will now have to compete with a glorified fantasy.

WRONG WAY: "Ummm...no, no girl has ever looked at me, 'cause I'm such a loser. I'll be alone for ever." (hang head and look pitiful)

 

RIGHT WAY: "Well...I just haven't met the right girl yet. Maybe I'm a little too picky." (head up, eyes gently shining, modest smile playing on lips)

 

(Later) "I'm really glad we're getting to be friends, I like you a lot."

Picky is a buzzword for women just like icky, cute, etc. Heterosexual men should never use those words. In fact, they should be punished.

 

The friend zone is a disaster for a guy who wants more than a friendship. It could be worse than rejection.

 

I disagree about the “self-centered player.” It is no mystery why they have a steady supply of girlfriends, and sluts.

[monkey00]

Originally posted by amerikajin

There's always that possibility, but most women can generally sense whether you're a player or not just by talking with you and watching you act. Hell, women know if you're a player before you do.

 

good point, but the way you act can just be the way you are!

you can show qualities of a player, but at the same time not be one.

 

blockhead

 

If you tell them that you never had a girlfriend, they will think you are desperate, and immediately dump you. I think an honest player is an oxymoron so I wouldn’t expect them to reply with “more than a hundred women.”

 

well, even tho you tell someone that you have a gf doesnt necessarily imply that you are the desparate type. IF a guy is desperate, his actions will easily be distinguished as desperate.

but if you are a normal guy like every oter non-desperate guy out there and tell her that you havent had a gf, i dont think she'll classify you as desperate.

 

maybe she'll think of you as the type that's too focused on work/school that you had no time for girls, or you could just be picky. but yea...it does make them wonder why you've been single all this time, i bet HOMO/BI would eventually come across their minds at some point.

 

soulmate

When girls ask you this, it IS a "test". The girl is wondering how you interact with women. Do you use them and lose them, do you cling psychotically to a girl who once said "Hi" to you, or do you build solid, mutually satisfying relationships with women, treating them as fellow human beings? I agree, you don't want to look like either a self-centered player or an unloveable loser.

 

Do guys ever wonder what a girl has been like in previous relationships? I would imagine, YES. The future so often resembles the past. If you think the future will be WAY different, you'd better have a darn good story as to why that is so.

 

yep half the questions throw at us are practically tests, that's why you have to be extra careful what you say to them...as it will have an impact on how they view you. i agree soulmate, as my co-worker also said something similar, "they wanna see what type of guy you are and where you're coming from." exact words from co-worker.

 

i've never wondered once about girls' past relationships. but now that you mention it, it's possible that the past will resemble the future.

 

blockhead

Picky is a buzzword for women just like icky, cute, etc. Heterosexual men should never use those words. In fact, they should be punished.

 

The friend zone is a disaster for a guy who wants more than a friendship. It could be worse than rejection.

 

if i had to say it, i wouldnt use picky either...picky makes you seem unmasculine...or seeming like mr. perfect who wants everything to be perfect.

 

the friendzone is a disaster for guys, but there are always way to turn it around. im in the friendzone with a girl and i did some **** within 3 hrs that kicked her interest level up...altho i think im gonna stop w/it cause i dont want her to like me, cause i dont want anything more than friendship w/her

[amerikajin]

I don't think the one question by itself is a dealbreaker. It's more like female forensics to see if the response matches the perceived character they have standing right in front of them, and I think you also get style points for the craftiness of your response. If you can take a personal question like that and respond without appearing too nervous or upset about it, then it probably doesn't matter that you've never had any dating experience. As I said, women usually know what kind of character they're dealing with in advance. They probably know that you're not a Don Juan, though I'd expect she's expecting you to have dated a few people. It's a fine line. It's okay to fudge a little, but again, I caution you never to exaggerate the truth too much. Make sure that your response lets her know that even though you have, ahem, supposedly dated a few times, you're still relatively inexperienced at the dating game. It's something that's hard to hide for too long.