Born again spouse wont attend gay wedding...should I care ?

[taiko]

Actually the correct term if we follow the terminology used is either a Godophobe or a religiophobe.

 

I guess its a pity the OP's wife choose Christ so we must search for the word. If she submitted to God's will there is already an approved term: Islamophobe.

[pureinheart]

Unless you are gay and want to get married.

 

It is not a right. It is a legal option available to a man and a woman who wants to start a family. Many people consider it a privilege (while others consider it a curse. )

 

 

 

 

Like a Drivers Licence...

[LakesideDream]

I am not pro or con gay marriage. It literally is none of my business. I don't have to press my beliefs on anyone else, my religion doesen't demand it. If asked I will sometimes give my opinion. My Christian denomination is very anti "gay marriage" as an organization, however there are no tenents demanding that individual members of the church need press or even posess those views.

 

I view it as a personal choice. I consider going to the event a personal choice.

 

I was previously married for 25 years. I can tell you all with complete accuracy that my former wife remembered every slight, nasty word, and bit of bad behavior I exhibited from the moment I met her. Even after the marriage was officially over she occasionally would bring up something I had done 20+ years previously as a contributing reason for the breakup. Discounting completely her infidelity.

 

Don't go to war with your wife over this event. She will never forget being forced to do something she was opposed to doing.. amplified by the belief that she has God on her side.

[califnan]

I am not pro or con gay marriage. It literally is none of my business. I don't have to press my beliefs on anyone else, my religion doesen't demand it. If asked I will sometimes give my opinion. My Christian denomination is very anti "gay marriage" as an organization, however there are no tenents demanding that individual members of the church need press or even posess those views.

 

I view it as a personal choice. I consider going to the event a personal choice.

 

QUOTE]

 

-----------------------

 

Not a personal choice.. All approval of sins affects present and future mankind..

[califnan]

Actually OP after reading all the responses I've changed my mind.

 

I think your wife should go to the ceremony (voluntarily--you still can't force her obv.), but she should feel free to cluck her disapproval to all concerned and make a spectacle of herself.

 

Meanwhile you can play the "bemused spouse" sitting in a corner with a beer in hand, talking sports with your other male relatives who are bored stiff by the entire proceedings.

 

When your wife says something offensive/shocking and one of your relatives gives you the evil eye and says "You have to do something!!!" just turn your palms up helplessly, shrug your shoulders, and say: "Gee I'm sorry but once she gets going she's hard to stop. Her batteries should run down in three or four hours." Then take another sip of your beer and continue talking about sports.

 

Let's face it, at every wedding I've ever gone to there's always someone who's overly loud, obnoxious, drunk, or otherwise making a spectacle of themselves.

 

Why not your wife?

 

-----------------

 

Your prev posts were more meaningfull wellbelieveit.

 

It was never expressed on here that OP's wife would have any intention of being outspoken at the unity, expressing herself .. or even attending ..

[BlackLovely]

You mean like woose?

 

Ah, the perpetual illiteracy of Loveshack. This is deadpan and hilarious.

[reddog63]

If I was harsh it's because it's difficult to have respect for someone who determines their moral stance based on a religion and what that religion mandates for its followers.

 

Love is love, and who people decide to share their heart and genitals with has nothing to do with God, in my opinion. I think it shows a weak mind, and I guess I pounced on that, because I think it's pathetic to make your judgements about people in this way.

 

If she doesn't agree with gay lifestyles, whatever, but don't blame it on God or Jesus. That just seems like, "sorry, I can't go to the wedding, it's what God wants" and that makes me want to vomit. Individuals need to take responsibility for their own ignorance and fear, not blame it on an intangible force.

 

As for the OP, I think he should go alone, and do what another poster advised, just say "she decided not to come, but I am so thrilled to be here and share in this wonderful day" Make her insignificant in the situation, because ultimately, she is, it's not about her in the slightest.

 

I find this topic amusing. For those who attack the OP and call her a bigot should look in the mirror. Are you not being intolerant of her beliefs? Of course you are.

 

"If I was harsh it's because it's difficult to have respect for someone who determines their moral stance based on a religion and what that religion mandates for its followers. " This is too funny.........you loose respect for someone who determines their moral stance based on religion???? Is that not what a believer is exactly suppose to do?? I respect that she does hold her beliefs.

 

It is obvious you do not believe in religion AND find contempt for people that do. Are you not intolerant of people who are religious? You are basically saying that someone who follows the teachings of the bible are actually operating out of ignorance and fear. I find your thoughts much more dangerous then hers.

 

One thing I have noticed over the years is how intolerant and down right angry people are getting over religion. When I see stories about some parent trying to get a prayer banned at a football game or attacking any reference to god, I have tried to answer this..........why? And I do not consider myself religious....I somewhat avoid religious people.....but where does this "hate" come from nowadays. But that is a different topic.

[allina]

Notice how no one calls you a bigot or ignorant because you don't believe in God. Interesting. (and I am not picking at you, just making a point)

 

The HUGE difference is that those who do not believe in god aren't trying to keep others from certain rights. Gay people just want equality for their families and love, to deny someone these things because they are gay is bigotry at its worse! What people are saying is "I don't want you to experience the joy and the rights I have because you are gay." It's absolute nonsense! But I'm not surprised, discrimination and religion have always gone hand in hand.

[NoIDidn't]

And all those who DO believe in God aren't trying to deny others those rights either. We are just trying to live the best that we can with what God gave us. I know plenty of non believers in deed and action(most politicians) who try to deny the rights of different groups for different reasons. Being a bigot isn't a monoply held by any certain group, believers or non-believers.

 

You know, some people think its only the other people that are bigots. Like the religious, the racist, the homophobic....

 

They are so tolerant of everything that they are completely intolerant of others not being exactly as they are.

 

I'm finding the "Tolerant" to be pretty intolerant in reality.

 

I hope fit enjoys the wedding, and his family doesn't feel snubbed by his W for deciding she couldn't go due to observance of her faith.

[Scrivdog]

No surprises here. It really takes religion to get otherwise decent people to throw their common sense and compassion out the window. But because some preacher told them that the bible said they should shun a group of people because of who they are - then it's all OK.

 

OP, just curious -does your wife think you're headed for fire and brimstone are the rate you're going?

[fit]

No surprises here. It really takes religion to get otherwise decent people to throw their common sense and compassion out the window. But because some preacher told them that the bible said they should shun a group of people because of who they are - then it's all OK.

 

OP, just curious -does your wife think you're headed for fire and brimstone are the rate you're going?

Probably. Its not that I dont believe in god, I do---I just dont understand the "you can murder a small town of people, rape 50 women BUT if you accept christ as your savior after you have done all these things its all good." but if your a everyday person, good father , loyal husband and good provider but never make the "born again" commitment --your going to hell. I dont get or undrstand that on any level and I dont really believe it.

[fit]

Are you offended that you were not invited to the bachelor party?

 

No not at all. I am straight and to be honest being at a gay male bachelor party would make me uncomfortable.

[fit]

Why? I thought guys just played poker and smoked smelly cigars at bachelor parties.

Your kidding right ? Almost every bachelor party I have ever went to or heard about has involved strippers, drinking and sometimes hookers. I'm not saying EVERYONE is like that but a lot of them are,especially young guys. To me it has never made any sense for a guy to have sex with a hooker before he marries the woman of his dreams but...whatever.

[fit]

Fit, please believe me when I say I am NOT trying to convert you, but I would like to try to explain a little more. If it offends you I apologize in advance.

 

The disciple Paul was a horrible man. He committed many atrocities against people. Yet there came a point in his life when he asked forgiveness for those things and then spent his life trying to keep others from committing the same hateful things. I didn't murder anyone physically, but I do believe I have murdered someone's esteem, dream and even their soul. I have been intentionally cruel and inhumane in words and deeds. I thought if I did a few good things I was a good person.

 

I probably was in the eyes in some people, but those that I hurt.... I am thankful that God did forgive me. I have tried to apologize to those I have hurt. I know it won't take away the harm I have caused, but I do plan to live the rest of my life telling others that they really can be forgiven. Though you can be a good human being, doing all the right things to live as a kind, loving, productive member of society...if there is something that you have done that could have injured someone in someway...wouldn't you want to be forgiven for it?

 

Anyway...it's obvious you love your wife and are loving with her. I pray things are peaceful and many blessings.

 

Still doesnt make sense to me bent. Commit 500 mortal sins and be sorry for it vs committing say one and be sorry for it and its all good ? I dont get that logic.

[2sure]

I would be upset with him for not attending. I would be upset with him for changing the rules. I would be upset with him for using religion to justify his prejudices. However, if he has no issue with your reasons for going:

 

I would attend alone and not bring him home any cake.

 

Then leave it that. I make a note of it, I wouldnt like it, but I'd have to weigh it and wait.

[WalkingOnEggs]

Still doesnt make sense to me bent. Commit 500 mortal sins and be sorry for it vs committing say one and be sorry for it and its all good ? I dont get that logic.

So if Hitler is born again before dying he gets in heaven. Mother Theresa, on the other hand, being a Catholic and all, would not. Yup. Makes sense. Sounds like one of the Jack Chick tracts.

[Samantha0905]

My goodness.

 

Well...I guess I just dont agree and it just strikes me as wrong. Im of the mindset that many people are born gay and they should be treated with love and respect.

 

They are and they should.

 

Well I understand both points, I guess. So let me ask you people who feel it would be wrong for her to go as it "celebrates" gayness or whatever...what if you had a gay son or daughter ? Do you disown them ?

 

I do and absolutely not!! I didn't consider it as a flaw, sin or anything else. It is who he is and how he was born.

 

----------------

 

I raised my sons to be right.

 

That's insulting. You're assuming in some way parents cause their children to be gay? Ridiculous. My son had a very happy upbringing and believes in God and Jesus himself. He told us at 11 he was gay. If he knew at 11, I feel pretty sure that wasn't a sexual decision he chose.

 

Replace "gay" with "black" or "Muslim" and maybe it will be more clear to you where the bigotry comes in and how there may be a right and wrong answer.

 

A bigot is a person obstinately or intolerantly devoted to his or her own opinions and prejudices. The correct use of the term requires the elements of intolerance, irrationality, and animosity toward those of differing beliefs.

The term has evolved to refer to persons hostile to people of differing race, ethnicity, nationality, sexual orientation, and religion in modern English usage.

 

I think of it as bigotry when a person goes out of their way to stop/prohibit people from marrying because they don't share their religious beliefs. Or even if a gay person does consider themselves a Christian, their lifestyle is never accepted by these Christians who consider themselves more "right" or in tune with God or whatever.

 

I don't think whether or not homosexuals can marry should be put up as an issue to be voted on -- I believe it's a huge civil rights violation to tell homosexuals they can't marry.

 

I also believe, just as slavery was abolished, women were allowed to vote, etc. -- all eventually -- gay marriage will become legal eventually. It's a shame hatred stops that from happening sooner.

 

Perhaps, I just don't see it that way, I guess since I am in a religious environment (I don't believe in her BS btw), I am more tolerant of people who believe in a higher being. Plus, I don't see her really hurting anyone as you said since she is not forcing down her views by asking others to be on her side and be against these people.

 

Different people see it differently, I guess :D

 

For Nora, she didn't say that TS should show animosity against the gay couple (or replace this with whatever). I am not saying she's absolutely right to do that, it's socially mean and it's quite a turnoff. However, she didn't tell TS to shove it and not go too. That is why I don't think she's a bigot. I also don't think it's wrong. I think it is wrong though to judge someone, plus if she is a newly born again christian, she is still struggling with her value propositions. Give her some time and she will adjust and be a true christian who is loving, more tolerant with others and yet not compromising on her belief.

 

I have no way of knowing if someone else is a bigot -- especially someone who isn't even posting on this thread.

 

I think as adults we should make our own choices and if she's going to be uncomfortable going to the wedding, she can choose not to attend the wedding. It's a sad thing though.

 

And thats why I don't go to church.

 

And that -- as a Christian -- is where the greatest damage lies in how some Christians react to homosexuality and many other things. They are supposed to be reaching out to people -- not making them avoid the church like a plague.

 

I remember receiving a church bulletin from the Baptist church we attended. It came the mail. The entire front cover was a long article of our pastor spewing as to why homosexuality is wrong/a sin/etc. I threw it away before my son woke up and was so glad he didn't see it. He believes in God. He believes in Jesus. And I'm not knocking any other religion here, but that makes my heart happy -- that he shares my beliefs.

 

He's told me many times he does believe, but he doesn't believe in many church interpretations regarding homosexuality.

 

Of course, the Baptist church also stopped letting females be pastors (after allowing them to be pastors for a while!) and also boycotted Disney for extending healthcare to partners of gay employees (we all know Jesus wouldn't want these people to have healthcare -- What in the $#@! are they thinking??!! Love people!!)

 

At the tender age of 18 AND 19, I used to spend my summers working as a bartender in a dive bar in the tropics. My shift lasted until 6 am. After 3 am, all the other bars closed including a few gay bars.

 

So I got to know alot of these gay guys well enough to ask them personal questions, including "Why did you turn gay?"

 

The answer was always, and with no hesitation a variation of : "I was always gay even since I was a child". After this and many other conversations with them, I became convinced beyond any doubt that genetic or not - being gay wasn't some choice they made. They were just born that way.

 

When you stop and think about it .. why the hell would anyone choose to be gay if they were straight? It's absurd. There's absolutely no benefit to it - in fact it's downright repulsive to a straight person and until very recently was a the fast track to disownment and ostracism.

 

Gluttons, drunks, and wife beaters, on the other hand - all chose to be that way.

 

Amen.

 

I don't want to derail the thread, because truthfully, this is about what the OP's wife feels.

 

But....I too have been close enough to a number of gays/lesbians. I have read many stories of gays/lesbians. And I cannot reach the same conclusion. There are many factors that are at play....including many (and even most) have had some sexual experience forced upon them from someone of the same sex. Many also have a poor to non-existent relationship with the parent of the same sex. Many have had an abusive relationship with the parent of the opposite sex. My cousins? The lesbian had a poor relationship with her father, and the gay cousin? His mother ruled (and rules) his life.

 

Does that mean everyone in the same situations reacts the same way? No. Does that mean that these are possible reason? Possibly.

 

Should we treat someone less than human because of this? NO.

 

As for someone thinking that this is how they always have been....many of us can think of behaviors/disorders/etc. that we have today as adults, and when we think back, we truly do not know when we first had them. Yet in many cases, we were NOT born with them. We simply acquired them as a young child. So this does not mean we were born with them.

 

As for why would someone choose to be gay....this is a moot point. No one chooses many aspects of life, yet they happen. No one necessarily chooses to be depressed. Yet many are. No one chooses to be mental illnesses or physical illnesses. Yet many are afflicted.

 

Point is...just because someone chooses or doesn't choose something does not necessarily make it something they are born with.

 

The point here is that the wife's opinion is hers. Personally, I would decide differently than she.

 

Yeah, I would decide differently also.

 

Incorrect.

 

The legal system "takes away" the rights. Actually, the rights were never had.

 

Legally, the answer is very simple. Give the individuals who make a contract via the civil ceremony the same legal rights as are given to individuals who make a contract via the marriage ceremony.

 

Problem solved. Blurring the definition of marriage to include what which is not defined by marriage does not solve the problem. If legal rights are wanted, then granting them solves the problem.

 

Getting into what the Bible says is not relevant as (1) many people do not believe in what it says anyhow and (2) our laws are not determined by what the Bible says. (But yes, I think the Bible is pretty clear on its view of homosexuality).

 

This is why we have an issue with the OP and his wife. Does attending the civil ceremony constitute a condoning of the ceremony or does it show support of the relative? While I see why someone would say it condones the homosexual ceremony, I cannot fully agree.

 

Jesus never addresses homosexuality.

 

From my son's perspective as he has shared it with me, he would like to MARRY. Just like other loving couples marry. He doesn't want a civil union. He wants a marriage.

 

OK heres my update folks. I am going to the wedding by myself.

I tried to read all the replies but its just wayyyy too many...lol

My wife is not a bigot--she follows the bible and is electing not to celebrate a gay marriage which is against her beliefs. She gets along fine with my gay relative--she just chooses not to celebrate their marriage. I am living with this....Ill get over it. I wish she would attend but I cant and wont make her. I am not super close with this relative for the record but my family will view it as a snub but they will have to deal. My wife is a good, loving woman--but I just dont agree with this particular decision. We will move past it. My life is with her, not with my family.

 

I never thought anything ugly about your wife. It's her decision. Some people have a very difficult time grappling with homosexuality -- for whatever reason(s). It's a free world though and if she doesn't want to attend she doesn't want to attend.

 

 

Just a point I'd like to make:

 

Do you know how many people get divorced due to reasons not listed as acceptable in the Bible? Lots!! Yet these are people who claim to be Christians and want their second (or third, or fourth, etc.) marriages to take place in a legal marriage ceremony. According to the Bible these marriages are not blessed by God. But they are legal. So, why is this all fine and legal yet it is not legal for homosexuals to get married? I'm asking Christians from a Christian perspective............

 

There are plenty of people who get married who don't even get married with any kind of feeling as to it being a religious ceremony. Some people just aren't religious. That's all fine and good also.

 

Why? Because we live in AMERICA!! The civil rights of American citizens should not be violated because of others' personal beliefs. It is a civil right to be able to marry. And if you want to argue it isn't and you have had the good fortune of being blessed with the right to marry -- well, of course as long as you're against something that DOES NOT effect you that is all fine and dandy.

 

Not allowing homosexuals to marry is just as backward as it was to enslave African Americans, not allow women to vote, etc. Remember how crazy people used to act when mixed race couples married? More nonsense. You don't see that (as much) today do you?

 

Homosexual marriage will become legal.

 

http://civilliberty.about.com/od/gendersexuality/f/Is-Marriage-a-Civil-Right.htm

Edited June 30, 2010 by Samantha0905

[Samantha0905]

I would attend alone and not bring him home any cake.

 

 

Great advice!

[califnan]

God created marriage for man and woman .. As stated in the Bible.

 

The Bible also states that the one in the marriage who is sinned against by adultery .. their remarriage shall be blessed, but not that ot the adulterer.... Although I respect that the Bible seems to lean toward Widows/Widowers being the most free to remarry..

 

Although the people (Christians and others) have tried to keep laws against Homosexual marriage .. it very well be that in time, states will allow their marriage .. as we are now seeing the decline of civilization - as witnessed by legalized abortion (baby killing) .. etc.

[Samantha0905]

And one more thing while I'm on a roll:

 

Many things in the Bible are contextual and period of time relevant!!!

 

If you do some of the things in the Bible nowadays as a way to react to issues you will go to jail!!

 

The Bible is both inspired by God and of human origins. Many of Paul's letters were to the churches addressing extreme issues at the time. Many of the things Paul says are Paul's opinions.

 

There are many books in the Bible that are in the Bible because man chose to put those particular books in the Bible. There are many that exist which weren't included. There are many stories from the Bible that are repeated in other historical narratives.

 

Here's a good article if anyone is interested on whether or not the Bible is to be taken literally.

 

http://www.twopaths.com/faq_BibleTrue.htm

 

 

"Who Wrote the Bible" by Richard Friedman is also a nice read.

[Samantha0905]

God created marriage for man and woman .. As stated in the Bible.

 

The Bible also states that the one in the marriage who is sinned against by adultery .. their remarriage shall be blessed, but not that ot the adulterer.... Although I respect that the Bible seems to lean toward Widows/Widowers being the most free to remarry..

 

Although the people (Christians and others) have tried to keep laws against Homosexual marriage .. it very well be that in time, states will allow their marriage .. as we are now seeing the decline of civilization - as witnessed by legalized abortion (baby killing) .. etc.

 

 

I'm pro choice also, although I certainly hope a woman would choose not to end the life of her unborn child.

 

My point is we are an American nation -- consisting of many different religious beliefs -- and even those who don't believe at all. All citizens should enjoy their civil rights.

[califnan]

I'm pro choice also, although I certainly hope a woman would choose not to end the life of her unborn child.

 

My point is we are an American nation -- consisting of many different religious beliefs -- and even those who don't believe at all. All citizens should enjoy their civil rights.

 

---------------------

 

'Anything goes' - doesn't mean there isn't a higher power. I believe we are nearing the end of God's grace..

 

This nation is in trouble in many ways .. i.e. economically, physically, environmentally, militarily..

[Samantha0905]

---------------------

 

'Anything goes' - doesn't mean there isn't a higher power. I believe we are nearing the end of God's grace..

 

This nation is in trouble in many ways .. i.e. economically, physically, environmentally, militarily..

 

Who said "Anything Goes?" And I'm certainly not arguing against a higher power. I believe in God.

[Namul]

This post addresses several themes I have seen in this thread. Please forgive the length of it.

 

As a christian, it is not my job to judge the people of the earth. I am not the one who decides what is right or wrong in another persons life. I am not worthy of that. No matter how "good" I am, and no matter how well I live my life, I have sinned, and will probably sin again.

 

There are no different sizes of sin. There are no small sins and no big sins. That is a human view of sin, not Gods view. A sin is a sin is a sin.

 

As an analogy, take the FBI. If you have 1 theft, or 100 murders, you will be denied entry into the organization. It doesn't matter what you did before or after the crimes, you committed a crime and are therefore barred from working there.

 

The only way you could work there would be to have the crimes expunged from your record so there was no trace of them. You would have to go to a judge, and even though you had done the crime and were not worthy , he would have to have mercy on you and have it removed from your record.

 

Now lets say there was one judge who was willing to do this for everyone, and every crime. Even if you were unworthy, and did not deserve it. For this judge to be able to hand out pardons to every single person that came up, he had to have lived a crime free life of his own.

 

This is the closest that I can get to an example of how I view Christianity. It falls short, because for it to work, the FBI would need to be a much better workplace than it is, and the judge would have had to die and take all of our crimes on himself because he loved each and every person. All you have to do for this judge to pardon you is to admit you did it, and believe that he will pardon you. He doesn't pardon you because you deserve it. He pardons you because he loves you.

 

Every single person who has ever lived, including your pastor, my pastor, the pope, whatever religious leader you want, has sinned. They are therefore unworthy to judge another sinner. Only god can do that.

 

Now to how this relates to the OP....should a christian attend a gay wedding? Look who Jesus spent his time with...the people who were considered the worst in the world in his day. Prostitutes, tax collectors etc. A healthy person doesn't need a doctor, a sick person does. Unless a particular event will tempt the christian in question to fall into sin, there is every reason for them to go. The christians life itself should be a witness at the wedding through their love, not through their condemnation of another persons sin. When you realize that the sin being committed is no greater than any sin that the christian has committed themselves, you start to see that this whole woop-ti-doo over gay marriage is just posturing by people who are being hypocritical.

 

If a christian's child is gay, should they disown them? Why on earth would they do that? If you believe we are all children of god, and he did not disown us over our sins (which are no greater or less than the sin of any other person) then shouldn't we follow his example and love them regardless of mistakes, choices, sins, whatever in their life?

 

LOVE, not condemnation, is what christianity is about. The mistake churches, and christians have made throughout history, is forgetting this. They have worried more about the sins of others than their own. The have felt superior to others because they were forgiven....even though their forgiveness was not earned by them, but freely given through a loving god.

[Samantha0905]

This post addresses several themes I have seen in this thread. Please forgive the length of it.

 

As a christian, it is not my job to judge the people of the earth. I am not the one who decides what is right or wrong in another persons life. I am not worthy of that. No matter how "good" I am, and no matter how well I live my life, I have sinned, and will probably sin again.

 

There are no different sizes of sin. There are no small sins and no big sins. That is a human view of sin, not Gods view. A sin is a sin is a sin.

 

As an analogy, take the FBI. If you have 1 theft, or 100 murders, you will be denied entry into the organization. It doesn't matter what you did before or after the crimes, you committed a crime and are therefore barred from working there.

 

The only way you could work there would be to have the crimes expunged from your record so there was no trace of them. You would have to go to a judge, and even though you had done the crime and were not worthy , he would have to have mercy on you and have it removed from your record.

 

Now lets say there was one judge who was willing to do this for everyone, and every crime. Even if you were unworthy, and did not deserve it. For this judge to be able to hand out pardons to every single person that came up, he had to have lived a crime free life of his own.

 

This is the closest that I can get to an example of how I view Christianity. It falls short, because for it to work, the FBI would need to be a much better workplace than it is, and the judge would have had to die and take all of our crimes on himself because he loved each and every person. All you have to do for this judge to pardon you is to admit you did it, and believe that he will pardon you. He doesn't pardon you because you deserve it. He pardons you because he loves you.

 

Every single person who has ever lived, including your pastor, my pastor, the pope, whatever religious leader you want, has sinned. They are therefore unworthy to judge another sinner. Only god can do that.

 

Now to how this relates to the OP....should a christian attend a gay wedding? Look who Jesus spent his time with...the people who were considered the worst in the world in his day. Prostitutes, tax collectors etc. A healthy person doesn't need a doctor, a sick person does. Unless a particular event will tempt the christian in question to fall into sin, there is every reason for them to go. The christians life itself should be a witness at the wedding through their love, not through their condemnation of another persons sin. When you realize that the sin being committed is no greater than any sin that the christian has committed themselves, you start to see that this whole woop-ti-doo over gay marriage is just posturing by people who are being hypocritical.

 

If a christian's child is gay, should they disown them? Why on earth would they do that? If you believe we are all children of god, and he did not disown us over our sins (which are no greater or less than the sin of any other person) then shouldn't we follow his example and love them regardless of mistakes, choices, sins, whatever in their life?

 

LOVE, not condemnation, is what christianity is about. The mistake churches, and christians have made throughout history, is forgetting this. They have worried more about the sins of others than their own. The have felt superior to others because they were forgiven....even though their forgiveness was not earned by them, but freely given through a loving god.

 

This is the sweetest and most true post I have ever read on this site. Thank you for writing all that. It made me think about myself and how I respond to people here also. I agree with everything you've written. It's what troubles me so much about how the judgment of people effects others. I can't tell you how much it has hurt my son. Most times he won't admit it, but I know it hurts him. I've done everything I can to help him to know God loves him. I hope he never turns away from Him out of hurt/anger caused by other people. I don't think he will, but it does concern me greatly when I observe how ostracizing people are toward homosexuals. I don't think many Christians out there understand how much they may be contributing to people feeling unwelcome in God's house.

 

God loves his children! He wants them there. And you're correct -- sin is sin is sin. I tell people all the time I'm too busy taking the beams out of my own eyes. How could I ever judge others?