OMG He's Back

[melanie101]

Hello All,

 

SO, I just thought I'd post this to give a brief update on my situation and maybe give some perspective to others who are going through the same thing. I originally posted in the Breaks and Breaking Up forum under "Do they ever come back?".

 

My boyfriend of 3 years broke up with me almost exactly 6 weeks ago. I was shocked and devestated. He said "he needed some time alone" and "he needed to gain perspective".

Well, I initiated No Contact immediately. I've literally not spoken, emailed, texted for 6 weeks.

 

TODAY, he reached out to me. I almost can't believe it. I thought I would never hear from him again. He said he made a rash decision in breaking up with me and he loves me and misses me so much. He has gained perspective and fantasizes about us trying again.

 

Needless to say, I am SHOCKED. Don't get me wrong, I'm not ecstatic. I love this guy to death, but am not interested in on-again off-again relationships, and I told him so. He is a classic Distancer and me a classic Pursuer. So you can imagine that leaving him alone for 6 weeks was beyond hard for me. Every moment, I wanted to reach out to him. I just want to make sure he is back for the right reasons and is serious about making this work. I don't want to be left again. *SIGH*. I'm happy I heard from him, but scared at the same time. He asked to meet face-to-face some time this week to talk.

 

ANYWAY, FYI all you Loveshackers... I read this book Make Up don't Break Up by Dr. Bonnie Eaker Weil. She says that if you don't contact the distancer at all, he will reach out in 6-8 weeks as this is how long it takes him to feel his "emptiness". Mine is 6 weeks on the button. Unreal.