dawnaspeciald Posted February 1, 2004 Share Posted February 1, 2004 My live in boyfriend is 8 years older than me. It seems that im always the one to initiate sex. Is this because he is almost 40? He says that we dont need to have sex all the time. So i stopped initiating it. Now it seems that im not getting it at all? Whats up? Im not fat or ugly, and im very sexual. He is a true blue kind of guy that persued me for over a year before i would even date him. Now that he has me, he doesnt do anything with me. Link to post Share on other sites
dyermaker Posted February 1, 2004 Share Posted February 1, 2004 Maybe he's one of those "thrill of the chase" kinda guys? Either way, talk to him about it, tell him that sex is a NECESSARY part of a relationship with you, and if he's not willing to oblige or if he ignores your concerns, let him go, and find a man who desires such a relationship with you. Link to post Share on other sites
UCFKevin Posted February 1, 2004 Share Posted February 1, 2004 Hmm. That's a pretty crappy situation. If sex is important to you, then you should let it be known. I don't think it's cheap or anything to make it known, sex is very important to me, and when it was happening like once every two weeks in my last relatioship, I was not very happy about it and let it be known. I know how you feel, though, I HATE having to ALWAYS initiate sex. Just once I'd love to have a girlfriend who, if we were watching TV on the couch, would just out of nowhere start going to town on me. Link to post Share on other sites
LisiEeyore Posted February 1, 2004 Share Posted February 1, 2004 Hey there, It sounds like he's a really respectful kind of guy. Maybe that's what he's trying to do. He wants you to know that he's not only into you for sex. In a way that's kind of admirable. He doesn't want to push it and by not initiating he is leaving you room to make the moves your comfortable with. It really sounds like you need to talk with him about it. Perhaps he's a little shy about making the first move or he just likes a girl who is ok with making the first move. In any case, you need to let him know how you feel and the sooner the better. If you don't it's kind of hard to have a healthy relationship. Good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
SoleMate Posted February 1, 2004 Share Posted February 1, 2004 Try reading "The Sex Starved Marriage", by Michelle Weiner-Davis. There are lots of reasons that one partner or the other may have less interest in sex. In a relationship, mismatched levels of desire should be seen as BOTH people's problem. And lack of desire in men, according to Weiner-Davis, is the grossly under-reported part of the story. Even men with perfectly functioning genitalia get "headaches" and are "not in the mood" because of emotional or relationship issues. You can fix this! Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
monkey00 Posted February 1, 2004 Share Posted February 1, 2004 sounds to me like low sex drive when you reach that age yea..u pretty much low on energy to do things occupied w/work + stress...etc you cant really find much time or make room to have fun. Link to post Share on other sites
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