A story about a man

[A Man]

Let me tell you a story...

 

This is a story about a man, a man who wasn't popular at school but was a an all star sportsman, playing elite level football, number one fastest player

in the team, no one ever beat him(AFL), played basketball, blackbelt in taekwon do and did athletics training every day on top of that. A man who at the age of 16, had been affected by chronic fatigue, a man who fell into a chronic depression after having to leave high school during year 11. Ended up conquering chronic fatigue and tried to get their life back on track, always had the support of his parents. Failed three TAFE courses(uni courses), lost two jobs and stopped playing all sport entirely. His chronic depression grasped him until there was nothing but self pitty and disgust. And yet amongst all of this he found peace playing an MMO known as Ragnarok. In this game it did not matter who you were, what you did or if you were a failure at life. You were able to be whoever you want, do whatever you like, say whatever you like. You could pretend to be a male or female. In this game you were no one but the persona you created.

 

This man found comfort and peace in this game, he found happiness. Was it real happiness or just lies? what did that matter? all that mattered is that he was accepted. In a game like this where you are able to marry a character of the oppisite sex, it opened up something new, companionship. All though it was not true companionship, you were able to share feelings and have empathy for one another. At the tender age of 17 and never having a girlfriend or any kind of partner and never being kissed, he was able to find happiness and new feelings for someone he had never really met. People came and people left, countless online partners and dramas were had during these couple of years. As he played more he also got better at the game, becoming the best player on the different servers he played on and he was recognized, people respected him. He grew, he gained new confidence and developed a very large ego.

 

After two years, He became bored with the world, bored with the game, things were just too easy for him, he needed a challenge. At this point in time he made a choice, he will find a girl and meet her in real life. After all he had a friend in the game who had done the same thing and it worked perfectly for them, so why couldn't he do it too? Many hours went past, hours turned to days. Chatting, scoping, analysing. He took all things into consideration when looking for the right partner, looks, personality, age and most importantly; the chances of them meeting each other. He had to make sure that whoever he chose knew that he was serious about the relationship. That they knew he was looking for something that would last and that even the heavens could not keep him away from his beloved, not that he was religous at all.

 

Atlast he stumbled upon a girl, a very beautiful girl, a girl that had self respect and was intelligent. This girl was also from spanish. Everything was set up and perfect, all criteria was met. Except one fatal flaw, she was a lesbian. But this man was convinced that this girl would be the one and devised a plan that had the chance of her falling for him and his plan was this; create female characters and take on the persona of a girl so that he could befriend her and become more. And this is what he did. They became very close, the girl was convinced he was truly a woman of the same taste, all the while he was picking and probing always analysing trying to find that glimmer of hope, that tiny little spark that would lead to her opening up to being with a man. Did i mention he was very good at manipulating and understanding peoples minds, knowing exactly what to say and how to say it. He was too smart for his own good, but still very young.

 

As you can imagine and are probably already saying in your head, you can't change how someone is. A person is who they are, there was never any chance to get her to be with him. It was all fantasy, just like the rest of the game and what goes on within. After telling her the truth, she played with his heart and in the end he couldn't take the abuse any longer and stopped contact.

 

As more time passes, he started feeling a sense of hopelessness, what was the real point to this? he yourned for something real, something he could touch and feel. After all he had so much love to give that if he found the woman of his dreams he would love her forever and do anything to protect her. He would go to the moon and back just to make sure she was happy, what a lucky girl this would be.

 

He found one such girl, very pretty, a familar face, italian too. He got to know her, things moved quickly, as they do in these environments. She was young, only 17, but he was convinced he could make it work. He explained to her his hopes and dreams, that he would someday visit her in the real world and that he was very serious about it. She never made any sign that she didn't feel the same way. They got tired of playing the server they played on and moved to another. He was very anti-social as he never deems random strangers worthy of making a conversation with him, after all what could he talk about? he was too smart to commune with rabble. The girl made friends was very social and they were quickly in a guild in the game together. Where he met some strange people, in particular one woman who had been kinder to him then he was used to, why would a complete stranger be so kind? he didn't understand it.

 

Very little time had gone by and his pretty little girlfriend had all but disapeared, vanished, no trace, no sign, no word. She was gone, where did she go? He couldn't work it out, he had done everything right but in the end he was left alone, again. A week had gone by and still no sign of her. He did not know what it was that made her do it but the kind woman he had met noticed how displaced he was. She spoke to him and he opend up to her. She was shocked to find out what had happened, she thought that they were a wonderful couple. Another week had gone by and he had got to know this woman, she was 19, half asian, half spanish, 5'3, beautiful and the most kind of a person he had ever met. They ended up doing somethings together and he dropped a few flirtatious lines here and there. Harmless flirts, or so he thought.

 

The woman was taken by his remarks, they stirred something inside her that she hadn't felt for a long time, she felt empathy and sympathy. She thought she had connected. But after just breaking up with a guy in real life who had cheated on her twice, after being in a 5 year relationship and the fact that it was online, she did nothing, how could she? it was online after all. Its not real. Then it hit her, the man told her that he was quiting the game, that he was too broken to play anymore. He couldn't not find what he was looking for, he had given up. The woman didn't want this to happen, she felt for him, they had both had their hearts broken. The woman made him a deal, as he was new to the server and had no items, she would make him a set of items so he could atleast play the game. He didn't know what to say, why would she do this for him? yet again astonished by her kindness. She must have been a good person at heart, naturally.

 

The man had his items in the game, he was able to play and stay for a bit longer. He kept dropping the flirty remarks. It developed slowly but it developed. Love, again? The man was in love with this woman. He wanted her, he wanted to be with her, by her side, make sure she was protected, But did she want him or even had these thoughts he wondered. What did it matter anymore? what did he have to lose? He did his manipulation again. Speaking in a way that made his victim feel comfortable, a false sense of security, controling the whole environment. Saying only what had to be said for him to gain what he wanted, slowly easing into what he wanted to tell her. To the mans suprise, the woman felt the same way, although she wasn't serious about the relationship because it was online, she went with it anyway.

 

They became the perfect couple. He was a weapon, she was the shield. They conquered in the game. He had already explained his hopes and dreams. She agreed, slightly. Hours and hours, days and days, weeks and weeks worth of spending time together. They had even started talking on the phone 10 hours a day. He became happy. The woman fell in love, a deep love that only a woman can fall into. The man was happy and told her everyday more then once that he loved her and cared for her more then anything in the world. She began to cry.

 

She had fell in love with a man, but she had lied from the very start, it was he who had been manipulated. She hid a secret, a secret that grew heavier every day they were together. Not all is as it seems, never forget this, the man drenched in his ego had become carefree, so happy that his bliss blinded him from anything that could go wrong. They had been together for a good 6-7 months, maybe it was more. But it had come time to smash this burden and throw it in his face. He rang the woman like he does every day, but today would be different, she was nervous, anxious. He never noticed but then it came out of no where, "i have something to tell you". She cried and cried, the mans heart had sunk. He knew it, it was too good to be true, she cheated on him with her ex, the one she broke up with after five years just weeks before they got together. "just tell me when?" the man said knowingly.

 

She kept crying telling him its not what you think, but he knew, he was always right. The man started feelings his heart crack. The woman told him "im not who you think i am", he was shocked and relieved, nothing could be worse then cheating on him. The woman who said she was 19 was not, the woman who said she was this girl in all the pictures she sent him, was not. She told him the truth, She was really 24, 5 years older then the man. She had once sent him a picture of her cousin that was the real her to see what he would think of her without telling him the truth, shrewed. The woman was not this slim girl who looked like she was from hawaii, but instead she was much much more beautiful, and overwieght. She was very beautiful and not slim, not fat, but not chubby. Just overweight. The woman knew that it was the end, she had given up all hope, she knew this lie would end it for good. The man was stunned, relieved and disapointed. But the man was in love, there was no way he would let her go. He embraced her. Afterall, it was her own insecurity and issues that lead her to lie. But should the man have kept her? should he have stayed with her? We all have our own opinion. Was the trust broken? In short, yes. But he wanted to believe that this was it, that this was the one, he would die for this woman.

 

Time went by, he made sure he told her everyday how beautiful she was and tried to build up her selfesteem and make her feel good about herself again. In a lot of ways he was disapointed, the real woman had smaller breasts and was larger. Shallow? To the man these things were important, he is a man after all. But she was still very beautiful and had very nice hair. He had trust issues, as you can imagine. But he wanted to get over them, he just wanted to be happy with her. He was the type of man that wanted her to be happy, aslong as she was with him. The thought of her being with anyone else would crush him.

 

A year went by, another six months past and it was time. They were to meet in real life, person to person. He had bought the ticket and arranged everything. Her trip from SAN to MEL was tracked all night. He worried that she wouldn't have gone on the trip. It was his nature to imagine all the things that could go wrong and grow weary before knowing things would be alright. Her plane landed and it was time, he left for the airport. He waited at the international arrivals section and there she was. His prize, his dreams, his love, his heart. He embraced her, picking her up off the ground and squeezing, he was so happy. The woman was to stay at his home for the next 7 months before leaving again. These were the best 7 months of this mans life. He experienced true companionship, the touch of a woman. She was everything she ever said she would be and more. He was the happiest man in the world until it was time to leave, already and so soon. As they embraced for the final time the woman cried, she was just too sad that she couldnt turn around as she walked through the departure gate, she was crying. The man held back, he did not show tears, he had to be strong for her. He cried all the way home and then some.

 

They kept in contact for three months until it was his turn. He was to visit her home and her family. But he had something special planned. They had been together for over two years now and he wanted her to stay with him forever and live at his home where he was able to protect her. For this to happen he had to do something important, turn their bond into a circle, no begining, no end. He was to propose to her, but not before asking her fathers permission. Permsission acheived, he asked his beloved to come to him, the man felt a mental barrier, this was harder then he thought. He pulled out of his pocket a small box, got down on his knee and presented the circle. The woman was overcome with lust. There was never any doubt, the circle was forged, their bond eternal. It was a perfect fit, lust turned into desire. The man was happy this day.

 

Sadly the man could only spend a month with her and had to go home. The unseperable two were seperated. Back to being apart again. It did not take long but the woman felt neglected. The man had become unthoughtful. He never realized, he was taking the woman for granted. How could this happen? She snapped. The woman took the ring off and ended their relationship. The man was in disbelief. He did not believe it was him, he did not know what to do, he did not know what was going on, so confused. How could she, someone who held his heart, take it and smash it like it was nothing, heartless. He would not give up though. He spent hours trying to get through to her, he knew she still loved him and he slowly realized what he had done wrong. Saying things at bad times, saying things he did not mean, taking her for granted, a convienence. He wanted to put it right, he knew this wasn't what she really wanted. The man being as smart as he was managed to get through to the woman and their break up only lasted a short hour or two, but it was a wake up call. He had fell into a hole, he had to show how he really felt more often. And this is where the story ends up to this very moment.

 

This is a story about a man who came from suicidal thoughts to being the happiest man alive, who never thought about ever really being in love to getting married, this is my story.