Midwestern_honey Posted June 23, 2010 Share Posted June 23, 2010 So I am a normal twenty year old college girl. Ive dated a decent amount, slept with two men (one I was in a long term relationship with, one I wasnt), and am now realizing what I really want in a guy. Ive always gone for the outgoing, popular with women and generally all American boys. Until Jacob. He is kind, giving, quiet (at first) and an all around good man, but is very shy. We have been close friends since freshman year of college (about three years). When I first met him, I surprised myself by being attracted to him. He was nothing like any other guy Ive been interested in. Slender, reserved, book smart, chinese and quiet. We became close, I never admitted my feelings but they still grew stronger. I was crushed when I was told he was gay. My friend set me up with his roomate to cheer me up. We hit it off, started dating and slept together the first week. It wasnt true love but he was kind, made me laugh and helped me to get over my sadness about Jacob. We were together for a year and a half and during this time nothing much changed between Jacob and I. We remained close up until the last few months of my relationship with the other guy, then we both drifted apart. When Jacob and I drifted apart, it made me realize I was settling with this other guy. And I missed that connection with my old friend. Jacob and I started hanging out again like the old times but I was constantly saddened by the knowledge he was gay. Or so I thought. Long, complicated story short: Jacob had a friend that he introduced me casually to, lets call him Jose. His friend was a very smooth talker with a spanish accent and we started dating. Only after we started dating did it come out that David was not gay and had had feelings for me since freshman year! I was confused, but refused to break up with Jose because I did care for him. Jose and I ended up realizing we saw each other only as friends and ended it after four months. Its been five months since then. Now the situation is: I told David how I felt, he said he was hurt by everything thats happened and needed time. He took time, he told Jose his decision, Jose told me, and also said "he loves you, but has no idea how to proceed". What should I do now?! Jacob has never dated anyone let alone been intimate. He is not an overly physical person but it seems like he'd like to be. He's just shy. I dont know how to pursue him because Ive never been the one in the driver's seat. The whole time I had feelings for him freshman year, I thought I was practically throwing myself at him but he never took a hint! Any advice from how to initiate physical contact to how to ease him into the more serious situations would be greatly appreciated. I care immensely for him and am afraid to ruin his "firsts" my being to pushy or not taking his view into consideration. In my past relationships, it has always been the guy who has taken the reigns and been in charge. Now that Im in this situation Im more nervous then Ive ever been, but really excited to have the chance to share this with him. I just need help! Thankyou for reading alllll of this.. I know it was long. Midwestern_Honey Link to post Share on other sites
Vcygnus1 Posted June 23, 2010 Share Posted June 23, 2010 first off, halfway through the story i think "Jacob" becomes "david"? or is that a 3rd person you like? But i think you should act on it. It is his decision whether to make you his first or not and it seems like it would be a good choice. good luck Link to post Share on other sites
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