onesadgirl Posted February 1, 2004 Share Posted February 1, 2004 Hey I have wrote once before but I'll refresh everyone. My Boyfriend and I have been together for 4 years! Last week he called me and told me that it wasn't working out because he is seeing his ex! Everything was going great! I don't understand! We were just together the day before he broke up with me and nothing seemed different!He said he loved me and I could trust him! Now he wants someone else to come get his stuff from my house! He can't face me and I didn't do anything wrong! Could someone please give me their opinion on why he can't even face me after 4 years! HELP.... Link to post Share on other sites
evk Posted February 1, 2004 Share Posted February 1, 2004 One word....LOSER!! A lessoned learned...get your things and forget him. Totally unacceptable behavior... Link to post Share on other sites
Iamhappy Posted February 1, 2004 Share Posted February 1, 2004 We were just together the day before he broke up with me and nothing seemed different! He said he loved me and I could trust him! Wow. Another person who uses the "You can trust me" line. Unfortunately, it's another person who's lying about being trustworthy. I'd say this is a red flag. Your ex-boyfriend is a lying, cheating creep. He can not face you because to do so would bring up feelings of shame and guilt. Why should he have to explain himself to you? Why should he have to bear the brunt of your anger? Why should 4 years of being together as friends and lovers mean anything? Why should he treat you with respect? Why didn't he do any of these things? Because it's easier to take the coward's way out. Link to post Share on other sites
Jiggly 2K3 Posted February 2, 2004 Share Posted February 2, 2004 Couldn't have said it bettert myself, Iamnotnothing! Link to post Share on other sites
Arabess Posted February 2, 2004 Share Posted February 2, 2004 I would imagine he has GOT to be feeling pretty damn guilty about all of this. It's not like he 'changed his feelings' overnight. This has got to be a relationship which was being discussed while he was lying to you. What a Spineless AssClown!!!! I'm surprised you are giving him his stuff. I be running over all his crap with my car! Link to post Share on other sites
metal_chik Posted February 2, 2004 Share Posted February 2, 2004 I agree with arabess, after not even havin the decency to tell u face to face and then sendin SOMEONE ELSE to get his stuff, I'd be havin me a bon fire in the front yard...and while ur at it, u may as well cook hamburgers and have a beer, it'll be much funnier that way Link to post Share on other sites
silk_sword Posted February 2, 2004 Share Posted February 2, 2004 he's a coward. that is y he doesn't want to face u. these types appear as men, but aren't men. they aren't men, because men aren't chickens!! let him go. he isn't worth it. besides, how could a woman love a man that could run? it's not possible. y? because, a true man never runs! Link to post Share on other sites
Vivid_29 Posted February 2, 2004 Share Posted February 2, 2004 Originally posted by Arabess I'm surprised you are giving him his stuff. I be running over all his crap with my car! What about planning his death on paper? Be afraid, be very afraid if anyone does Arabess wrong! ~V Link to post Share on other sites
onesadgirl Posted February 2, 2004 Share Posted February 2, 2004 I know I should just get rid of his stuff but I want him to face me! This is driving me crazy! I can't make him face me.... I don't know how its so easy for him to walk away after 4 years? Does he even still think about me? Is he hurting at all? These are all questions I've been asking myself! I wrote him a goodbye letter and planned to give it to him when he came to get his stuff. I'm thinking about mailing it, he may not read it or care but it would make me feel better knowing I sent it... Link to post Share on other sites
Arabess Posted February 2, 2004 Share Posted February 2, 2004 Originally posted by Vivid_29 What about planning his death on paper? : Be afraid, be very afraid if anyone does Arabess wrong! ~V Hey...all is fair in love and war! If my ex wasn't in friggin Iraq/Kuwait....I would have made his life a living hell. He'll be home in the spring though....and I'll be ready. He'll wish he hadn't sent me the 'compromised nudie pic' of himself. It'll looks pretty damn goofy blown up POSTER size on the side of his barracks and other assorted places on post. Ahhh Viv....you KNOW I'm just kidding....right????? Link to post Share on other sites
lboogie Posted February 2, 2004 Share Posted February 2, 2004 I know that you care, but the best way to get over it is to act as if you don't. Guys expect for us to cry and sweat them but when we don't it gives them much more to think about. Yeah that's really messed up that after 4 years he could do you this way, but please believe if it were that easy he was doing he thing for a while now. Remember this will only make you stronger and god knows we as women need to be strengthen when it comes to these sorry azz men. But seriously just move on and trust me he'll regret his actions sooner then later. Link to post Share on other sites
coursingthru Posted February 2, 2004 Share Posted February 2, 2004 I can relate to you on this one - my ex fiance though came back on a day that I was at work - told my gf that morning on the phone (I work with her) and he told her he would call me to make arrangements to get his things and the next thing I know and hour later my 13 yr old is calling me crying hysterical that he was at the house with his 2 brothers and his best friend taking all his things - tv etc right in front of my daughter! She was shaking and crying and his brother looked at her and looked at my ex - his brother and just shook his head at him. My daughter went upstairs to his closet, got all of his clothes she could manage, threw them down the stairs at him and told him to never come back here again! He has come back on 3 occassions but only to make sure I move out so he can move back in - but since he bailed on us and doesn't want to help out in moving us, I am in survival mode now. He emails me and calls me trying to come pick up the rest of his things, but I have yet to return any call or email since last Thursday and I even call blocked all of his family and friends from my phone line - so when he does call - he can't get through. I do believe that he is taking the cowardly way out as well - his feelings couldn't have changed overnight - it is all because he involved his family where they didn't belong and I challenged his mommy and that was pretty much the end of it. But I stand up for what I feel and believe in and only when I know that I am sincere and passionate about it being the truth, otherwise - I would back down and admitt defeat. It hurts deeply but has not knocked me back down the stairs - it actually made me stronger because he is so back and forth, I don't know what to believe of him and so I have to not respond to him at all. Which upsets him because he is used to me responding - negatively or positively. I have realized that he wants a woman who is going to stroke his oversized ego 24/7 and not rock the boat. Because I am not one to walk around like a stepford wife - it finally got to him I think because when he saw me healing and dealing with my challenges - he knew he had to as well (because he encouraged me to heal myself and then didn't want to fix himself) I am still hurting and sad - but now I am at the angry stage. This is all for the best and I now have to protect my daughter and help her heal from his drama he pulled on her. I don't want her to feel that men just up and leave you. Her dad did it - but he's back now and making the effort - but she believed and loved this guy as I did and we both feel so blindsided - makes you not want to trust again, but the only person I will not trust - is him as he is weak and a liar. Link to post Share on other sites
Vivid_29 Posted February 3, 2004 Share Posted February 3, 2004 Originally posted by Arabess Ahhh Viv....you KNOW I'm just kidding....right????? Ofcourse, my dear. I just think it's funny as hell! Aren't you flattered that I remember your posts? ~V Link to post Share on other sites
lostforwords Posted February 3, 2004 Share Posted February 3, 2004 Could someone please give me their opinion on why he can't even face me after 4 years! HELP.... -because he cant face someone he has hurt so bad. -because he has no explanatiuon of his actions and doesnt know what to say. -because he cant bring himself to telling you WHY he did what he did. -because he is a coward like everyone else said. -because you want and need closure. My advice for you is to help yourself get over him as quickly as you can and dont ever give it another thought. Seek counselling, because trust me when I say your going to need it. Hes not a man but a child who has gotten caught, so rather than face the music he will do anything to avoid it. My heart goes out you. good luck geri Link to post Share on other sites
onesadgirl Posted February 5, 2004 Share Posted February 5, 2004 I was doing so good not contacting him and he called me the other night! We talked for 4 hours but after a 4 year relationship I think it was a much needed talk. We both cryed through almost the entire conversation... He said that sleeping with his ex meant nothing! He said that sorry isn't even an appropriate thing to say to me! He said he loves me but we should not get back together because he would only hurt me again! How can he know that? I think he's really mixed up because he got upset that I took my rings off. His mom and sister still call me, I love them like family. His whole family likes me and they don't like his ex! She's not even allowed over to their house. His mom keeps saying he'ss come back to you.... I don't think he will. I'm even more confused now than I was! Link to post Share on other sites
Iamhappy Posted February 5, 2004 Share Posted February 5, 2004 He said that sleeping with his ex meant nothing! Apparently, neither did his 4 year relationship with you. He said that sorry isn't even an appropriate thing to say to me! So he still doesn't say he's sorry, huh? He said he loves me but we should not get back together because he would only hurt me again! So, after cheating on you with his ex and leaving you high and dry without so much as an explanation, he calls -not to apologize - but to tell you that he doesn't want to be with you? I think he's really mixed up because he got upset that I took my rings off. Um, yeah. It's your fault that he's mixed up and cheated on you w/ his ex - all because you took your rings off. Sweetie, this guy is a piece of sh*t. He will continue to manipulate you and your feelings if you allow him. It doesn't matter that you like his family and they like you. It doesn't negate the fact that your ex could so easily throw away 4 years with you and treat you like dirt. There is nothing romantic about lying, cheating and betraying someone you love. You deserve better. Link to post Share on other sites
ninjalogan Posted February 6, 2004 Share Posted February 6, 2004 He is doing the most disrespectful thing that any man could do. He is using your love as a tool to get what he wants. He is a shameful and dishonorable coward. Find a real man before he drags you down even further. Link to post Share on other sites
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