Troubles with the ex

[Gecko235]

Me and my ex recently started talking again, 6 months after a very messy break up after dating for almost 4 years. Btw her mum was threatening me with a restraining order by the end of it (which I knew she would never end up doing). Prior to this she thought we were perfect for each other O.o Have no ideas what she thinks now haha

 

Oh, and Ive been getting prank calls on my house phone since we broke up. It was everyday and slowly worked itself down to just every couple of weeks. I suspect it was her as they called a couple days before my bday and on it aswell.

 

She contacted me after 5 months we talked for a couple of days and I realised I wasnt ready so I told her to move on. In the time we did talk I got the feeling she still had feelings for me due to the questions she was asking and the fact she was already trying to make me jealous (they were only little comments but it was annoying)

 

A month later Ive contacted her and we talked for a couple days again. In my last txt to her Ive told her Ive got some things i gotta do, its nice talking to u again and Ive missed you. Its been 2 days since we spoke and I don't know if I will txt her again as I dont want to be doing all the chasing, I want to see an effort from her. Not to mention I would want an apology or even her to admit that she made mistakes too. It feels like she blames me for everything and she did no wrong.

 

Ive apologised to her for the things I had done, as I havent been myself for a long time due to depression. She played alot of games (which she always has but I just ignore them) and really messed me up. For eg "we r just friends and nothing more" later that night at 4 in the morning I get a drunk phone call "Did you **** her? did you **** her?"

 

This is just one example of things she says and she means something completely different. Ive always had to read in between the lines, read her body language or what/how she says things to pick up what she really means sometimes. And she wonders why I get it wrong sometimes haha but I am usually pretty good at this.

 

In one of the txts shes sent me she said she would never go out with me again and that it sounds harsh but last time I claimed she led me on, the best we could be would be friends and it wouldnt b close friends for a long time. Im ok with not talkin again or talking. Its upto me but I need to be clear with myself and stick to it.

 

The part about being clear is referring to when I had depression and I kept changing my mind about being friends not being friends just after we broke up. I kept telling her I cant be just friends with her and then tell her I wanna be friends. I was really messed up back then and I needed her more then I ever have.

 

Now this is a pretty clear msg from anyone else, but its from her and she never says what she really means... All I can do is take it for what she said.

 

She also brought up something that I done, I just said yea Im sorry for that and changed the subject. I didnt wanna play the blame game and say well you did do this to me.

 

Just thought Id chuck in that she had depression couple years ago (she tried to kill herself and I had to tell her mum that she had taken something, I rode in the ambulance with her) and I helped her through it and when she wasnt there for me I felt betrayed.

 

Shes not all bad as this makes it out to be, she is smart, fun to be around and really nice but she is very immature at times.

 

Im not perfect either and I know this

 

She's the first person Ive got excited to talk to in the past 6 months.

 

When I had the depression, I started playing the games that she was/had done to me over the years and boy she did not like that. Altho its quite funny it is something that i am not proud of.

 

Am I handling this the right way?

 

Yours thoughts/opinions?

Edited June 23, 2010 by Gecko235