I forgot how to make new friends

[Glors1116]

My fiance broke up with me last week and I'm still reeling from the pain. I'm lonely and I don't have any friends here because I just moved here a few months ago. We were supposed to get married in a few months and I've move over there to join him. Now I'm faced with being lonely and having to make new friends.

 

I have never been the kind of girl who needs a man to measure my worth. I am not a serial dater and I don't mind being alone but this is the first time in my life that I feel very incomplete. Most of the people I work with are married and have family lives. I am on the young end compared to my coworkers and most of the single people aruond here are men. On top of all that, this place is literally in the middle of nowhere. The nearest town is 100 miles away. There are more cows than people here.

 

I guess it's normal to be transitioning. I gradauted from school in May and now I'm in the working world. Real life is different college, I know, and I anticipated it but I never thought I'd have this much trouble adjusting. I don't know if it's because of my recent break-up or the fact that I don't feel like I have anything in common with the people around me.

 

I appreciate any thoughts on this...

[Marty_McFly]

I think it's ok to be friends with men as well (unless they're way older than you, and as long as you choose them carefully so they don't think you want to hook up). I saw in a different post where you wanted some female friends to talk about the things girls talk about, and that's understandable. But the men may have friends that are girls that they can introduce you too. Or even if you don't make friends with the guys, you could probably just ask some of them, not in a "psychotic" way or anything, if they know any single women that you could hang out with. If they know you're situation, I'm sure they would understand and be willing to help. I have a friend whose girlfriend is getting ready to move here, and she also won't know any other girls, and I plan to invite them out to introduce her to other girls I know.

 

Also, a lot of married women still want girlfriends to hang out with occasionally. I wouldn't count anyone out just because they're married. Some of the guys you work with may have wives at home that are thinking the same things.

[Arabess]

Any time your life has a radical change....it takes awhile to find your own comfort zone again. In your case, you have the breakup, PLUS you just entered into the work force.

 

Being a single woman is a little harder because married women sometimes don't want you around. Then again, there are some who will become friends with you and not see you as a threat. Most of my female friends are those I met on the internet. Maybe hook into some local chat sites or with a city near you. It really DOES work....not just for dating....but mainly to meet people in a friend capacity.

 

It'll take awhile to get around and test the waters. In time though...you'll have a great group of friends. Actually, this is a wonderful time of your life before marriage and baby responsibilies. ENJOY IT!

[Glors1116]

I have no problem making friends with men. In fact, most of my close friends are men and I tend to relate to them better. But just as Arabess said, married women seem distrustful of me. I know that when I first moved here, the women didn't warm up to me until they found out I was engaged. I guess part of my problem now is that a lot of the guys seem to just want to hook up. Maybe I'm being presumptous, maybe I'm paranoid or maybe I'm way off the mark. I'm in the military and most of the people around me are men. It just seems kind of different, and I think part of it was that I got hit on a lot more after I came into the military than before. I don't think it's in my head and it's probably wrong to assume that all guys are like that, but I guess it scares me a little.