Starting Over Again

[Lee]

I'm a divorced man in my late 30's with 2 wonderful children. My problem is that a year after my divorce I found what I thought was the most wonderful/beautiful woman I've ever met. It was a chance meeting...almost seemed sureal or that it was destiny...my soulmate had come into my life but as life always seems to go for me things went sour when she became controlling, obsessive and jealous of my time with my kids and contact with my ex. To ease her mind I asked her to marry me so she could see I was committed to our realtionship and my ex was just that an ex. It went for a while but as time went on every month there was a new crisis...she was the epitome of the drama queen...small problems were turned into big ones. She felt as an outsider when we were with my children...she even went as far as saying when my kids needed to go to bed so we could be alone and why did we have to have them every weekend. This woman had never been married w/o kids so I understand this was new to her but she knew this going into the relationship...why did she wait until I feel in love with her to make this feelings known??? I tried to break it off but she saiud she would do whatever to make it work...well it didn't...she just couldn't get passed the jealousy. I tried to make it as easy as possible for her when the kids were with us and to make her a part of us as a family but she always wanted to compete for my time...she didn't have too as I wouldn't just bring anyone into my children's lives especially after a divorce...kids need stability not a revolving door. Anyways since we broke up 2 months ago I have tried to contact her but she has just moved on like it meant nothing...I'm not sure why I still want this but my last attempt was 3 weeks ago by calling...she hung up and I haven't tried since. I am now trying to let go but I'm scared of getting back into the dating game at my age and how do I know it won't happen again...I don't want my kids to see my like this...Depressed and confused...I know there are plenty of woman out their that would love to have a good looking caring man that's a very good father but I still want this woman who obviously doesn't want me anymore.I need some advise I feel so alone...I want to share my life with someone but it almost seems like I'm destined to be alone. 35, divorced with children not a very good prospect...what do I do to move on after I planned on this being the one...how do I start over?????

[billy the kid]

well first off let's start by saying that your kids are the most important thing in your life... ok did you get that if not read it again... second off if you are giving your time to your kids totally you don't really have to have someone else in your life..there are people out there that do not understand how I can live alone... it's simple I just do.. I have raised a 19 year old son by my self sure I dated some times during those 19 years but I never "had" to have some one there and neither do you..now as far as this woman you dated leave her alone if she hangs up on you when you call,, come on what's that saying to you????when you stop looking she will come along for now spend the time with your kids,,, they are going to grow up so fast. and if you don't, believe me, when they are grown and you wnat to spend time with them they will have lives of there own.. then it will just be visits..Oh well Tony can give you the physco. view point... just remember the KIds are #1..

I'm a divorced man in my late 30's with 2 wonderful children. My problem is that a year after my divorce I found what I thought was the most wonderful/beautiful woman I've ever met. It was a chance meeting...almost seemed sureal or that it was destiny...my soulmate had come into my life but as life always seems to go for me things went sour when she became controlling, obsessive and jealous of my time with my kids and contact with my ex. To ease her mind I asked her to marry me so she could see I was committed to our realtionship and my ex was just that an ex. It went for a while but as time went on every month there was a new crisis...she was the epitome of the drama queen...small problems were turned into big ones. She felt as an outsider when we were with my children...she even went as far as saying when my kids needed to go to bed so we could be alone and why did we have to have them every weekend. This woman had never been married w/o kids so I understand this was new to her but she knew this going into the relationship...why did she wait until I feel in love with her to make this feelings known??? I tried to break it off but she saiud she would do whatever to make it work...well it didn't...she just couldn't get passed the jealousy. I tried to make it as easy as possible for her when the kids were with us and to make her a part of us as a family but she always wanted to compete for my time...she didn't have too as I wouldn't just bring anyone into my children's lives especially after a divorce...kids need stability not a revolving door. Anyways since we broke up 2 months ago I have tried to contact her but she has just moved on like it meant nothing...I'm not sure why I still want this but my last attempt was 3 weeks ago by calling...she hung up and I haven't tried since. I am now trying to let go but I'm scared of getting back into the dating game at my age and how do I know it won't happen again...I don't want my kids to see my like this...Depressed and confused...I know there are plenty of woman out their that would love to have a good looking caring man that's a very good father but I still want this woman who obviously doesn't want me anymore.I need some advise I feel so alone...I want to share my life with someone but it almost seems like I'm destined to be alone. 35, divorced with children not a very good prospect...what do I do to move on after I planned on this being the one...how do I start over?????

[Tony T]

You need to relax. Come to terms with the fact that most young, beautiful chirpies are just too selfish to want to take on a ready made family. I suggest Parents Without Partners, if you are in America. Many wonderful friendships and romances have come out of that organization.

 

There are also complications with blended families too. It takes a lot of work to get things working together in harmony. The two adult partners in such a situation have to be extremely mature and open minded to make it work.

 

There are many great ladies who would love to be with you and would love and honor your children. You just have to look hard.

 

My personal suggestion, if you are in a hurry, is to go to some matching services on and off the Internet and find beautiful sweet ladies from other countries whose cultures encourage their involvement with your kind of situation. That is not an option if you aren't attracted to women from other countries.

 

We live in a era of great selfishness and self-centeredness. However, there are ladies who come from great families and can love you and your children in a most sincere way. They just aren't on every corner.

 

However, it's hard enough for single men with no children to find Ms. Right. You are going to have to do a little extra work but if you use your imagination, she will appear in your life in no time. Just don't give up on the idea.

 

As for this lady that was in your life, she too screwed up to be around your kids...or you. Forget about her.

[joe mama]

I tried to break it

off but she saiud she would do whatever to make it work...well it didn't...she just couldn't get passed the jealousy.

If you broke up with her, what's the problem? Isn't that what you wanted?