LovelyDaze Posted June 25, 2010 Share Posted June 25, 2010 I've been on and off LS for the past 9 months as someone seeking advice to one of the many that wants to give it. To often, there is a post asking if it is okay to wish your ex (especially the dumper) birthday wishes. The answer is no. It doesn't matter how long you were with them, it doesn't matter if you think wishing them a happy b-day makes you the "bigger person", it doesn't matter if you think that if you don't do it-you'll lose a chance to reconcile . Here's the thing, if your ex gave you the kiss off whether gently or harsh, they basically told you that they do not want your presence in their personal life any further. They want to see other people, pursue new interests, and live a life WITHOUT YOU. Think of it this way, what if you had a job you absolutely loved, worked hard at, earned great pay, and looked forward to making it all the way to retirement there only to have your boss fire you. Would you send that boss birthday blessings? Would you call him on the phone congratulating him on hiring your replacement or getting promoted himself? You wouldn't now would you? Then think clearly of your REAL intentions of sending your ex any kind of birthday wishes after they dumped you. I also recommend not sending any other kind of special event greetings like Christmas, New Year's, their college graduation, their wedding and/or new baby. Nothing. There will come a time that you could care less who your ex is dating and then and ONLY then sending birthday greetings seems cool. Get past their birthday with the courage to leave them alone. You'll thank yourself later. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Username37 Posted June 25, 2010 Share Posted June 25, 2010 I second what you said. I wished my ex girlfriend happy birthday. I feel like total crap now. Link to post Share on other sites
USMCHokie Posted June 25, 2010 Share Posted June 25, 2010 Thanks for this...my ex's birthday is coming up next month and I'm glad you set me straight in case I was to do anything stupid... Link to post Share on other sites
KafkasLastWords Posted June 25, 2010 Share Posted June 25, 2010 I agree and am not planning on wishing my ex a happy birthday. However, I am very confused and angry about one thing. My ex invited my guy best friend to his birthday party. They never hung out during the 4 years we were together, so why on EARTH did he invite one of my closest friends? Especially keeping in mind what you just said that he basically kicked me out of his life. It really pisses me off... Link to post Share on other sites
Ilovecake Posted June 25, 2010 Share Posted June 25, 2010 This should be a sticky thread. I myself have though about starting a similar topic. It's just so strange how many people use the birthday greeting as an excuse to contact their ex. I'm guessing every 5th thread is the birthday question. The funny thing is no matter what advice you give them and no matter how clearly you explain why it is not a good idea they will come up with some excuse. It's always something like 'yeah but you weren't there. you don't know how special we are to each other. we really are meant to be together we just can't, he/she has some issues they need to work through but I know they would be ecstatic to hear from me on their birth day'. If you were so special to each other you would not be trying to get approval from a bunch of strangers to call a person that doesn't want to talk to you because you would still be together. It's harsh but they don't want you in their lives and especially on their birthday. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
TouchedByViolet Posted June 25, 2010 Share Posted June 25, 2010 I agree a million bazzillion percent with this thread. If your EX dumped you then they don't deserve your blessings or wishes. Spend those on the people who will reciprocate your feelings. Link to post Share on other sites
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