am i to blame for losing him as a mate

[lozjojo]

My best friend a guy im a gal! I know,and we used to be really close. When he was having problems with his girl at the time (he was engaged).We got what seemed closer than mates should be with what was being said and way he behaved round me. Nothing happened phsyical apart feom some cuddling and a couple o meet ups.

 

I kept him at a distance but liked him i couldve pushed it but it wasnt me and was unsure what he wanted as he could be suggestive at times.

 

Anyway he started acting cold with me and i then found out he met some other girl who he dumped his then girl 4. I confronted him but he denied all as guys do.

 

Since he left it's like he's trying to cut me out of his life. He never gets in touch anymore and when I (rarely) talk to him he acts like he really can't be bothered to talk to me. He only talks to me when his girl is on courses out the country or shes out.

 

 

I truely miss having him in my life. I don't know whether he's being this way because he's hung-up on the past or what. Sometimes i think its cause we missed our chance so to speak

 

 

I'm sick of making the effort to talk to him and feeling rejected when he doesn't want to talk to me. I really hope this doesn't sounds stupid and childish,and if anyone has any words of wisdom,they would be really appreciated.

 

Im really sad how things. panned out never regretted anything so in my life. He doesnt even go out that much in general at the weekends he does work then too so he has changed

[marsle85]

In most of these cases, "blame" isn't a factor. What you call blame, I consider to be a difference of feelings, expectations and desires among two entirely different individuals. Have a little trust in the universe, and follow your heart. If you feel like contacting him, do it. Hold an appropriate amount of responsibility for yourself concerning your friend, but do not carry too heavy a load. You don't control everything, girl.

[lozjojo]

i do get upset about it as we were close mates and now its virtually nothing. He only talks to me properly when his girl is away on work. I sometimes think it was because i confronting him

[Ronni_W]

He started acting coldly towards you BEFORE you "confronted" him, though. And AFTER your cuddling and couple of meet-ups.

 

I'm sorry to say, but I think he used you back then and is now working on keeping you on the 'back burner' just in case he'll need to use you in the future. Even though you two used to be close mates, something about the relationship has gotten distorted in his mind, and he no longer views you like a close mate.

 

It does suck, but I would ditch him. He is not treating you well; not for an acquaintance, a close mate or a former/future cuddling-and-meet-up buddy.

 

Hugs.